Life As Ocean~

Life as ocean

falling down

submerge

feet first into epic  blue

jellyfish, a string of bioluminescent memories around the waist

translucent scales caress a broken shoulder blade

calcify me to the coral

fuse my bones against the bottom

sea shells, pink

come, like whispers

to lay conch swirls of  a kiss against the breasts

my hair in waves

floating

a white silk cloud

 captures a dolphin’s attention

upright against my body

like a waltz,  he spins me a tidal movement

coaxing me to breathe

but I am turning water over inside my lungs

foam between my lips

a slender ribbon opens from a blood bubble breath

my thighs fuse

music curves my spine

a whale on a harpoon above

thrashing in a watercolor sky of oil

peel me

iridescent scale by scale

a starfish  melody crawling the sandy bottom

I bend

I open

the center like a fruit

seeds everywhere

a nurse shark opens her mouth

a diamond mask floating in seaweed

I burst

gushing silver water

bleeding starscapes

dreamscapes

curled in a whispering shell

on the bottom

of the sea

 

 

 copyright:2010vssmd/pa.inc

 All Rights Reserved

 from 

 The Surreal Stalks And Times Of A GutterGirl  

Reviews

[Seraph Trend]

I enjoy the freedom you take by dividing the poem into lines. Your thoughts are scattered yet there is direction overall. You play with the words like a dolphin beneath the waves. I like it -0 }0-
U

[Pikachu]

dangggg i havent seen this style yet its unique and with the blend of imagery akes it a wonderful piece

[JC]

i always thought drowning could be a beautiful way to go if you relaxed enough to enjoy it...so many great lines here capturing the depth of beauty and its cruelty, i could picture rimbauds diseased soul watching with cynical glee.

[.]

Wow-i love this format!!!
"sea shells pink
come like whispers
to lay their swirl of kiss against the breasts"
---and these are great lines:)
I just Love & Love the surreal floating mood--awesome!!!!
I Love This!!!

james:-)

[Smirking Poison]

Submerged in sensation, twisted by emotion, physically begging for release - the images you describe are beauty and desperation personafied.

The beginning sounds so innocent, and describes how she becomes one with the silvery water, then the mood changes to a frantic pace as she struggles to breathe but is comsumed by it all in the end.

A unique and colourful piece !

- Domani Poison

[Cherrie Palmer]

what a wonderful piece

[R E Tree]

Wow this is imaginative. I can see tons of imagery in this it's so remarkabe. Some lines makes me lost for words. My favourite line "a slender ribbon opens from a blood bubble kiss" I love it!

[Tina Kline]

I must agree with the other reviewers, this is filled with outstanding and incredible imagery. Wonderful tale told in poetic form with a fantastic format. Over all, this is an awesome write!

[Emily]

This is a wonderful piece, like the backbones to an even more wonderful story in our minds. Well written!

[Removed Account]

interesting, this has left an imprint in my brain.

[J.S. Pua]

good imagery..
and interesting format..
i kind of like this..
good write..