RawSilence~

I ate a bullet raw

it modified somewhere between my tongue and the back of my skull

shifting in liquid metal against my temporal lobes

there was no blood

or pieces of bone to clean up

every schrapnel of clarity was internally agonized;

after dinner

in a fog

a snake in silver scales

hatched an idea down my vertebrae

eating light and spreading color to the base of my spine

leaving shell fragments

and membrane

seeding my vestigial memory

with apple trees in a gutted garden

My belly in full bloom

a doe in my scope

my hands wrist deep in rubies

mist echoes

a flare of dark nostrils exhaling blood

a yellow car

a sunshine man

with a knife between his eyes

a razor gripped in his teeth;

no one ever told me not to accept rides from strangers

 

my saving grace

was my amazing case

I tasted just like him

of metal

and pernicious chromosomes;

because of this he didn't bury his damage into me

opened the yellow door

pushed me out of his burn

the tattoo in flex ash on his forearm, ordering

"Don't ever accept rides from strangers."

 

I never did

again

 

In a forest

you bleed

a stranger to yourself

playing with silver bullets

a doe looks on

unimpressed

you self consume

lean back

turn on the radio

hum along empty roads;

the song doesn't matter

only that the silence

is broken

 

copyright:Seleneskye/paininc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

OMG...the only word I can put to my initial reaction is spunky and pungent.

You write with a very high calibre of words and rhythm. Which means only one thing...you read a lot!

If I were to use my editor eyes i'd say you should end the poem on the sentence "Don't accept rides from strangers." Although the second half of the story is still valid, the second half feels to me that it's trying to solve the reader's bewilderment of the wild opening stanza.

If you were make that change, for example, and the reader who read the poem thought 'this is confusing.'
I would simply answer... "You're damn right, poetry is meant to make you instinctively feel alive. Understanding every word, is only an added bonus, to a few grumpy old professors".

Since your opening stanza was so fluid, I'll settle for 99%. Thank you for sharing ;)

[Alice_In_WhateverLand]

Your passion is amazing :) I love how everything ties together :) I hope i can learn alot from you :) thank you for sharing x

[Augustus]

This was chilling to the bone...Very very dark and potent language...This was a very challenging poem to review with several intelligently crafted metaphors...and no direct reference to the abominable act suggested here...had to read it more than once to appreciate it fully...
the defilement of body and soul and the echoing silence of disgrace, disgust and anguish...anything, anything to shut it out...
"the song doesn't matter
only that the silence
is broken"
Wow....
Masterfully executed!

[Yuki Devereaux]

This was absolutely beautiful.
I love how you write. Love. It. !

[Arthur Henn]

The silence of death
triggered by the solitude and gentle pull of a trigger.

The snake of generations crawl upon the inner belly
of its skin.

The beauty of it all
is where the mind picks up the words of inspiration.

The beauty of it all just leaves this reader in awe.

This was very different than what I normally read and I found the way you wrote this profound and well done. It rocked me out of my chair.

Art

[Mindona Kanvas]

im borderline speechless at the moment...you totally just took me there.

[Marlena]

Damn...this is amazing. Loved it :)

[Thom]

I didn't fully understand the poem until the last lines, but when I did I was shocked.
I will say that you are very intelligent and the way you describe the scene leaves the reader amazed.