RawSilence~

I ate a bullet raw

it modified somewhere between my tongue and the back of my skull

shifting in liquid metal against my temporal lobes

there was no blood

or pieces of bone to clean up

every schrapnel of clarity was internally agonized;

after dinner

in a fog

a snake in silver scales

hatched an idea down my vertebrae

eating light and spreading color to the base of my spine

leaving shell fragments

and membrane

seeding my vestigial memory

with apple trees in a gutted garden

My belly in full bloom

a doe in my scope

my hands wrist deep in rubies

mist echoes

a flare of dark nostrils exhaling blood

a yellow car

a sunshine man

with a knife between his eyes

a razor gripped in his teeth;

no one ever told me not to accept rides from strangers

 

my saving grace

was my amazing case

I tasted just like him

of metal

and pernicious chromosomes;

because of this he didn't bury his damage into me

opened the yellow door

pushed me out of his burn

the tattoo in flex ash on his forearm, ordering

"Don't ever accept rides from strangers."

 

I never did

again

 

In a forest

you bleed

a stranger to yourself

playing with silver bullets

a doe looks on

unimpressed

you self consume

lean back

turn on the radio

hum along empty roads;

the song doesn't matter

only that the silence

is broken

 

copyright:Seleneskye/paininc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

OMG...the only word I can put to my initial reaction is spunky and pungent.

You write with a very high calibre of words and rhythm. Which means only one thing...you read a lot!

If I were to use my editor eyes i'd say you should end the poem on the sentence "Don't accept rides from strangers." Although the second half of the story is still valid, the second half feels to me that it's trying to solve the reader's bewilderment of the wild opening stanza.

If you were make that change, for example, and the reader who read the poem thought 'this is confusing.'
I would simply answer... "You're damn right, poetry is meant to make you instinctively feel alive. Understanding every word, is only an added bonus, to a few grumpy old professors".

Since your opening stanza was so fluid, I'll settle for 99%. Thank you for sharing ;)

[Ed Hart]

you start all these fires, and they never go out

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The unspoken is spoken and resounds between the lines. You are haunted, and you haunt. You bare your breast and we see but don't see. You sing to be heard, and we sing along.

I wish you nothing but loving kindness.

Linda Marie

[Forever Mine]

Amazing and well written

[Zachary_James]

interesting...Well done

[Collect-Eye]

"Don't accept rides from strangers." might actually be the weakest line imaginable compared to the actual ending..in response to the long comment there. I realize it was said hypothetically from the perspective of someone else..but hey, idk
Also ironically..the impression of that line probly does linger in the undercurrent of the minds of many readers of this piece. But it's infused w/ many other subjective/psychological factors, so I think I can still sleep soundly

so yea, the transition from the traveling down the spine to the orchard was beyond transcendental

most people don't have the balls to go to places like those [myself I'm usually just too lazy]..that's why I take some of the stock in whether someone's a genius and transplant it into the cornbread of universal exploration[flavor/awareness same dif?]..I mean it takes longer to realize hypothetically that butter drifts off the counter if it's not on the saucer and there's a 12 degree slant than for it to actually do it.

Obviously, I need sleep

I think I may be the undisputed king of awkwardly worded phrases at 5 in the morning..ha

[Dream Weaver]

This is so abstract and nothing short of brilliance.
Your words twist and turn each one out doing the
next. Incredible write!

[J.M]

An amazingly potent and vivid poem, you have really captured a moment here in a way that is both haunting and beautiful. well done.

[floarealbastra10]

great poem

[BloodyRaven]

This is deep, you have really good descriptive detail, unlike anything I've read before.

[Iota]

This one is impressive. I could feel the chill as I realized what was happening while reading. Thinking glad this isn't me. It was like watching a suspense horror movie in a way. I love this poem, excellent.