Green Eyed Monster

I would sell my soul just to be her for one day. How fair is it to be born so ordinary and then be judged for wanting more?

“Green-eyed Monster”

By Selene Theia Samson

 

She has everything.

She smiles like she is happy right to her soul, like there is no part of her where sadness could dwell in. She has no mannerisms that show damage of any kind; she is perfection right down to her micro-expressions.  Althea is the epitome of perfect, from her attractive face and hourglass-shaped body, to her charismatic, happy-go-lucky personality that naturally draws everyone’s attention. Not only is she drowning in fame, but she is rich and talented, too.

The boys follow her with their eyes, even those who do not tend to notice girls. I, too, am not spared. Her presence buzzed around me like a fly that I could not swat. She has designer clothes, lives in a mansion. She has everything. And then, there was me--a boring, old schoolgirl with no special qualities--nobody important, someone who could disappear in the background and no one would notice, nor would they care. I would sell my soul just to be her for one day, to walk in those designer shoes instead of my own. If that is envy, then I do not care. How fair is it to be born so ordinary and then be judged for wanting more?

Self deprecating thoughts cloud my mind as I gaze at her from afar. My best friend, Gaia jabs me in the ribs, "Envy ain't pretty," she says and keeps walking. I pretend to be unbothered as I continue walking to class but still cannot help but get a glimpse of Althea being surrounded by people. I get another annoying jab; "Your face looks constipated, forget her and be yourself."

I look at her incredulously, eyebrows furrowed, “You did not just say that.”

She lets out a small laugh, “Come on, your face says it all. It’s pretty obvious what you’re thinking about.”

“I know, it’s just…” I trail off, my eyes avert to the side, “She just has it all. I can’t help but be jealous.”

Gaia shakes her head disapprovingly, “You two were the closest of friends before, right? What happened?”

I do not like how that was brought up, because I do not know, so I give her a less than satisfactory answer, “I dunno, times have changed, I guess. We just drifted apart.”

Well, that was not a lie at all. We used to hang out all the time, from dusk to dawn. I vaguely remember spending my entire childhood chasing each other without a single worry in the world, having childish tea parties, sleepovers, and the list goes on. We were like two peas in a pod, never to be seen without the other. That was, until the day we just stopped talking.

I smile bitterly. Perhaps, she got tired of good ol’ me.

Gaia huffed, “I guess all the fame got through her head or something.”

I shrug, memories of the past coming back from the deep recesses of my mind. Whatever we had was gone now. I could deal with it.

As soon as I get home from school, I immediately rush to my bed. I bury my face under the soft comforters, feeling happy that it is Friday. I love being at home, it just means I do not have to worry about my physical appearance, and I do not have to force myself to interact with anyone.

I sit up from the bed and stare at my reflection on the mirror. Is that really the case though? Am I really satisfied with the way my life is now? With how everything seems to be an endless, repetitive cycle?

A part of me tells me otherwise. I long for something more. Is it selfish or greedy of me to do so?

I hear my phone dinged, telling me that I have received a notification. I am momentarily distracted by it, which I am thankful for; however, once I turn it on, I instantly regret it.

It is an irrelevant notification about Althea posting in her social media again, probably about how great her life seems compared to mine. Feeling a tinge of annoyance, I throw my phone back into the bed and crash on top of it, covering my eyes with my arms.

Must be great to be her, huh?

My entire being is filled with insecure thoughts and envy, that I forgot about the famous saying Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.

And it does. Once my eyes flutter open, I am greeted with the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. I stare at it for a few minutes, puzzled. I grasp the around the bed, it is strangely more comfortable than what I am used to. My room’s walls aren’t painted a vibrant blue, and as soon as that thought entered my mind, I immediately stand up from my spot and went full on panic mode. Was I kidnapped? Where am I? What is going on?

All my questions are immediately answered as soon as I face the extravagant mirror inside the fancy walk-in closet filled to the brim with designer clothes. I stare at my, no, Althea’s unblemished, porcelain face in the mirror, silky blonde hair, evenly proportioned body, taking in her appearance. I touch her face, and the reflection in the mirror does the same. I pinch myself in the arm, wondering if it is all a dream, but the small jolt of pain tells me otherwise.

I almost scream, but hold it in. I do not want to alarm the people in her house, nor do I want to arouse suspicion. What is going on? What should I do? How do I go back to my body?

I let out shaky breaths, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden. Feeling a bit dizzy, I stumble back to the comfortable queen-sized bed. This was what I wished for, didn’t I? To be her, even just for a single day. Now I have to face the consequences.

Inhaling and exhaling, I calm myself down, trying to think of a game plan. Okay, first, I should act like nothing is wrong. If I raise suspicion it would make things worse, and I do not want to risk it. So, I should probably act like Althea the entire day. This entire situation makes me feel sick in the stomach, it does not feel right. It feels so wrong to be using her body. But I must deal with it, there is nothing else I could do. Does this mean Althea is in my body right now? Or is it just me? Oh well, I’ll deal with it later.

Slapping my cheeks, I mentally prepare myself for the day to come. Fortunately, it is a weekend. But knowing Althea, she does not just sit or laze around in her house all day�"

As soon as I thought that her iPhone makes a loud noise. I scramble upon the bed to get it, and as I thought, she does have plans for today. I swiftly read the text message, dread course through my veins as I realize that I must hang around her clique the entire day at the mall. Sighing, I get up and try to get ready for the day.

It is an absurd experience to be able to choose from such variety of clothes. Expensive ones, nonetheless. I feel a rush of excitement on picking what I am supposed to wear, but unfortunately, I have only little time to prepare, so I choose something decent. I rush downstairs, clutching a branded purse with me.

I am bewildered with what I saw, the house, no, mansion is indeed humongous, however it seemed so…empty. A few workers greet me as I head to the large kitchen, I send them a hasty smile and took a small piece of toast for breakfast.

“Oh, Althea, your parents left on a business meeting.” a maid informed me, and I jump a little bit in surprise.

“I see.” I reply, nodding. I guess this is a natural occurrence, so I act as if I was not surprised. So, that was why the house seems strangely void despite its size, even with all the workers.

I leave the mansion in a hurry and ask a worker to drop me off the mall. Once I meet up with Althea’s group of friends, let us just say that it is a disaster. They are the stereotypical stuck up, spoiled girls you see in the movies. It is such an unpleasant experience, pretending to be someone I am not and faking smiles along the way. The girls are apparently just using Althea--they only befriended her because of her status, not because of who she is. To test this theory out, I politely excuse myself to leave early, but I hide in one of the bathroom stalls. I hear them talk behind my back and let us just say the words that come out of their mouths are just awful, for the lack of a better term.

To say I was shocked is an understatement. I truly believe that everyone out there likes being around Althea, but I am proven wrong. As I go about my day, the more I discover little bits about Althea’s life. It is hard to walk around the streets alone, especially with how she looks. Boys ogle at me as I walk past them, and I am certain that those thoughts are not innocent. I use the subway train on the way home, and some random guy try to feel me up. Feeling traumatized, I leave the train quickly and run the way home. Being around people makes me feel sick.

When I arrive at the mansion, I dash past all the workers to reach Althea’s room. I crash into the bed and let my thoughts consume me. But something across the room catches my attention. There, on top of an intricately designed desk laid a journal. I am overcome with the urge to open it and read all her secrets. I am hesitant at first, but think, Screw it! I have meddled enough in her life to not read it. My curiosity wins over me as I browse through her diary and is shocked to find out how eventful her life is, and it is not as perfect as it seems. There are dates encircled with a bold red pen, fully loaded with schedules for the entire day, lessons to keep up with her image. As I flip the pages, I stop at one page: I am so lonely. I want to die. I can’t keep up with this image anymore. Then as I continue to flip through the pages, the more the neat cursive becomes more distorted and rushed, the more the suicidal words start to appear until I stop at the latest page. The most recent words scribbled are I’m planning to do it today.

My mind races with thoughts, I feel overwhelmed with everything I just read. Realization dawns upon me--her life isn’t a paradise, and experiencing this day is more of a punishment than a blessing. Guilt and pity replaced jealousy and anger, empathizing with this girl who has faced so much. But that last sentence worries me the most. What is she planning to do? What did she mean by “doing it today?”

Brushing it off as something irrelevant, it is probably something like going to the mall with her friends, so I decide to call it a day hoping with all my heart that once I wake up I return to my body, back to my uneventful life that is ironically a hundred times better than this nightmare.

When my eyes open, greeted with the sight of my pink walls, relief floods my senses. I am back. Never have I been this happy to be me again. I almost kiss my reflection in the mirror but stop myself. I thoroughly inspect the room, checking if there is something amiss while I was gone. As I rummage through the drawers, I catch sight of a brightly colored note with the familiar fancy handwriting. The words written were I had a lot of fun today. Thank you for making me experience what it is like to have a normal life. It is short, but no name written on it, although I know it came from Althea, without a doubt. So, we did switch bodies for a day, huh?

My phone dings again, and I rush to get it. This has been the umpteenth time I regret ever turning it on because I am soon faced with terrible news. Gaia sent me a message informing me that Althea has committed suicide and that the police are currently inspecting her house.

Horrified, I drop my phone. My face turns white as I stare motionless at the mirror. My legs feel like jelly as I clutch the note that she left for me. 

So, that was what she meant.

That wish I made, to be in her shoes for a day, turned out more to be a punishment and a lesson. She must have wished to escape her life, too, so in turn we switched places. Those were her last 24 hours, one that she must have spent happily in my body, while I experienced the hell that she faced every day. I am angry at myself for ever thinking that she lived the dream, angry at myself for assuming she had everything when in fact I knew way less than that.

Ever since then, my perspective of people shifted. Here I stand in front of her coffin, donned in a black dress, asking for forgiveness. The green-eyed monster that was me is no more.

She was the girl who had everything, but nothing at all.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

for creative writing class :) this was a bit rushed, I am sorry. i just find beauty in tragedy haha. please tell me your thoughts!

Reviews

[Just Kim]

I love the characters in this write, such vivid imagery, I am not much of a story person, but I really enjoyed this write. Hope you are enjoying your creative writing class.

[Nix is typing...]

I love this story! It's so good and the characters are so 3D! If I could rate this 10,000 out of 100, I would!

[moongirl]

Aww hahaha! Glad you think so! This made my day ^^ Thanks for the feedback

[Mr. D]

Being ordinary is no tragedy. Would you rather be famous and wealthy? Would it be worth it in the end? I think not.

It is wiser to be unknown than to be celebrated for being mediocre.