Father You're Falling Apart

Just read. The title sums it up, though...

I.
You’re shaking.
I can see it.
You’re obviously not fine,
Not well at all.
It makes the pressure build
Behind my cheekbones
And at my temples.
It makes me want to cry for you.
For your distress and inability
To cry for yourself.
For the fact that you ask me what to do,
Or tell me how you feel,
And I can give you nothing for it.
Every time,
I have to stare back at you with wide eyes
Until you look away.
There is no answer or reply.

 

II.
The door in front of you
Gets slammed shut violently.
Striding away from it,
Cigarette settled almost delicately between two fingers,
You inhale from it
Like a slowly dying man
Searching for a quicker killing cancer.
I follow your steps
Until you stop and turn to face me.
The look in your eyes only confirms what I know--
You’re not really angry.

 

There are already tears in my eyes for you again.
The saltiness of it stings a little
Because I can’t let them slip down my cheeks.
It hurts.

 

You tell me it hurts.
I know.
I knew.
But now I know how badly.
I know what it takes
For you to say that out loud.
I know what it takes to get you
So desperately sleepless.

 

I watch as you lift your hand to your mouth
To take another drag of that cigarette.
As if it would put you to sleep
And ease your mind enough to keep you that way
For the whole night.
There is never anything I can say or do.
I don’t have your solution
And neither does that cancer stick.
You hope anyway.

Author's Note

Reviews are appreciated.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very powerful poem. To watch someone in pain and be with them is a hard task. Some habits are hard to break. Your description was written with sadness and sorrow. I like the story and the description. A very good ending to a poem with no real answer. A very strong poem.
Coyote