Eclipse

 

The brisk cold air blowing fiercely,

As the sun bids its farewells,

As the dark makes its entry

To the sky above.

 

As I sit here watching,

As this moment is happening.

I think of how life can be

Always entering and exiting,

But yet never staying still.

 

If only I could go back

By ending it all and beginning again.

Just give it all to be with you,

But like the cycle of the day

We are never destined to meet

But shadow each other

And cross paths every so often.

 

Author's Note

my first poem (well second but english class doesnt count lol)

Reviews

[Comrade Andrew]

interesting and I sort of connected with some of what you say, really good stuff keep up the good work. Cheers.

[.nicole.]

i really like this poem, i can feel your emotions when you wrote it

[Jen Marks]

Nicely done!! :)
I remember the first time I read this in Writer's Craft class.
I loved it back then, and I love it now!
And I think all of the stanzas fit perfectly (unlike the guy below).

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♥Jen Marks

[Charles]

I like the idea od shadowing one another with paths crossing every so often. I think, though, that the preceding stanzas do not do this ending real justice. Maybe more metaphor or more imagry could be considered to bring them up to the level of the ending lines. Also, I'm not crazy about all the 'as' beginnings. I first thought this might be leading into something (as reptition sometimes does) but never found what it was getting at. Keep writing. BTW, I've done a few 'chance encounters' poems. See my website at www.writingsbystone.wordpress.com (archived under 'parallel universes' for samples.