Perfectionist

A little anecdote: Once, I qualified for the regional championships at a riding tournament. I didn't tell my mother and the horse's owners that it wasn't an ordinary competition because so many riders from outside came with so much better horses and investments anyway. However, I won the first round and was allowed to participate in the qualification. So at the qualification, I got under the first three places and got a ticket for the regional championships. In the next few months, I trained a lot and my coach was very strict with me. I wasn't allowed to switch off for a minute while I was riding and simply have fun. My coach tried to improve me almost doggedly. After 2 months, I told him that he was putting too much pressure on me. That it was too much for me and that I also wanted to have fun again while riding. He then replied that I was a perfectionist and always wanted to do everything perfectly. Yes, I always wanted to perform good, but then I asked myself why he said that to me. I wasn't a perfectionist, and he knew me since I was little... It took me 5 years to understand what my riding instructor meant. He is right, I am a perfectionist, and the older I get, the more I realize it. I have always had very high expectations of myself and my performance. In the past, it was only important to me concerning the things that mattered most to me, but today it is relevant to me in almost all areas. I always want everything to be perfect. I love order, structure, and control in my life. I am not satisfied with an average performance because I do not intend to be the average. No matter what I start, I finish it and do it as well as I can. Perfectionism does not mean that you are perfect at everything and achieve the best results. Perfectionism means doing everything possible to develop your best potential. It means to complete a task as conscientiously and well as you personally can. My mother always tells me that I have far too high expectations of myself, others, and life. I am simply not satisfied until it is perfect for me, and until I reach that level of feeling that I put all my needs behind me to reach my intended goal. Perfectionism has many positive features, but it also has its shady sides. You can never switch off completely, overwork yourself until you have the feeling that you have completed a task perfectly. Sometimes you are never satisfied because the result never seems perfect or is worse than expected. You get upset because things don't work out the way you planned, or you don't have enough understanding for people who are the exact opposite of perfect. Perfectionists often stand in their own way and need an escape valve that takes away their worries and makes them laugh. Perfectionists are not satisfied with second place, they always want to be first, but they have to learn to relax and see that life is not only serious. Nothing and nobody is perfect, and sometimes it is exactly the imperfection that makes something perfect.

Reviews

[Broken.]

This is truly amazing. The story is very touching and relatable.. I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees life's imperfections as a form of perfection. Sometimes you don't have control, but that's life, and I think perfection would make life boring and uneventful. Great work

[sedulous_mind]

Thank you so much for your comment! Giving up control can be very challenging but at the same time it can lead to the most unexpected and greatest experiences.

[barleygirl]

This is one of the best descriptions of "perfectionism" I've ever read. Most of the time perfectionism is expressed as being a pretty bad thing, something that prevents people from getting anything done (which can be true) & something that causes people to be unreasonable in many ways, such as being intolerant of others (also true). There are many good things to be said about perfectionism too & you've expressed it clearly & honestly. This is authentic becuz you don't try to pretty it up too much (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[sedulous_mind]

Thank you for your review. I really appreciate it!
Hugs - S

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Wow, this is so good. The last line is so, so brilliant and as a perfectionist myself, I adored this, it was SO good. You describe being a perfectionist... might I say, PERFECTLY, especially for people who don't know what a perfectionist really is. I loved the idea of this, and I really hope you keep writing down your experiences and thoughts like this. Anyone can write, but no one can write in such an intriguing way I've read here on your page. It's unique, fresh and enjoyable and interesting to read. I thoroughly enjoyed this, amazing work!

[sedulous_mind]

As I am not a native speaker, I appreciate your words especially. When I write I try to organize my thoughts. It's more like a diary than intended for others, so it makes me even happier when others can identify with it.

Take care - S