Ethereal alchemy

Rippled running rain
bereft of stippled stain
a tangled mangled wreck
of superfluous sublime shame
decrying ignominious regret.

Ripe red ruby rapiers
fracture the forlorn facade
igniting passions that flow
to leave an indelible refrain
on skin, pale and freckled.

And the speckled starry night
holds back the dawning light
insidious in in its desire.
Incandescent it dances
whilst ethereal alchemy prances.

© Paul O' Neill 2012

Reviews

[lisat]

this is actually my favorite

[lisat]

Brandon is talking &&&&&!. This is superb

[Pól]

well we r all entitled to our views, and writing is so subjective anyway

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Your writing is no better, Paulo. Might as well have been written by a child. It's ok we all grow up someday.

[Pól]

go raibh maith agat, mo chara

[Brandon S. Whitten]

oh you speak in tongues or are a dratkuf

[Pól]

Was just thanking you for reading my work-sorry it wasn't to your taste. Have no idea what a "dratkuf" is, but suspect is not anything good.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Gaelic is not my second language. Read a review you commented on and thought it was uncalled for, best to say nothing if you can't be polite. Actually your work is quite good, as well as Shamanic Highway. Sorry my Irish temper gets the best of me when I see a bully on the playground.

[Pól]

I'm just honest, as you are.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Understandable, I've read work that was ok, but I encourage them to keep writing. We're not here to bash one another. Isn't this world violent as it is?

[Pól]

My aggravation wasn't solely based on the poem.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Such emotion inspires me to write or paint

[Pól]

Thats good. I also don't like bullies btw

[Brandon S. Whitten]

What part of Ireland? My grandmother is from Limerick

[Pól]

Tyrone, now living in Down. Opposite end of the country to Limerick

[Alexandria Reece]

'on skin, pale and freckled.

And the speckled starry night
holds back the dawning light
insidious in in its desire.'

That transition from freckles to stars in the night sky is amazingly perfect. What a wonderful poem. I loved your word choices especially, you have a very keen sense for poetic vocabulary.

[Pól]

Trust you, Alexandria, to pick up on that transition, which is the best piece of this poem (imo). As you like it feel free to use it in one of your future works, if you wish. Thank you for your kind wors
P

[Alexandria Reece]

What a wonderful gift you give me allowing this! You're always welcome to my praise :) it is well-deserved.

[Pól]

As you can see not everyone thinks so, but I respect your opinion more than most. If you do use it let me know
P

[Alexandria Reece]

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S. Lewis

Some people like to pretend to be grown up by bringing down others. It's not a fair practice, but it is the religion of the insecure. Press on, you have a beautiful mind and a talent with the pen. As a final note:

“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
- Bernard M. Baruch

Even DaVinci is criticized at times and it's really rather flattering when people attack you like that, because in some obscure sector of the brain they are denying jealousy.

[Pól]

Its ok Alexandria- I deserved it- and I think I've patched things up now.

[Alexandria Reece]

Alright, understood.

[Pól]

I've been v productive tonite- 3 new poems

[Alexandria Reece]

Excellent work, Pol!

[Pól]

Thank you, alexandria

[Moonflower]

This was very reminiscent of one of my favorite people in history, Aleister Crowley. The style in which you write this is very similar to his, and maybe even the word choice. Not sure if you would consider that a compliment, but I would. This was quite an enjoyable experience, thank you for sharing.

[Pól]

Thank you for your kindness. I'm not familiar with Crowley, but I'm sure he's v. good

[Moonflower]

He did poetry on the side, wikipedia him, he did many things.

[Pól]

I will

[Moonflower]

cool.

[Alpris]

This did have an ethereal feel to it. Almost magical your words like stars punched into the sky and calling us to look up and read it. Well done.

[Pól]

Thank you so much

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Paulo, Where have you been?
Another wonderful piece of writing. Such good use of alliteration. The words spew at the reader in moist refreshing splashes. Lovely word Incandescent!

[Pól]

I've been ill,John, writers block. Hopefully this means I'm getting better.