Revenge

Do you remember me?

As you struggle in my grasp.

Have I changed so?

Don't you want to be my friend?

,as you were before.

 

I was weak

You were strong

But tables turn

Karma weaves her magic wand

and calls me to decide

how this ends.

 

I take your honour

from its lofty poisoned perch

and steal its lustful shine.

 

I take your soul

black as guinness

and feed it to the Devil

 

I take your manhood

the dagger that you plunged

into tender loins

 

and hear it fall, thud

resting in the boot

of my rusting ford.

 

and I laugh at your pain

your anguish, your agony your terror

as you have laughed at mine.

 

and now, your friends...

© Paul O' Neill 2012

Reviews

[lisat]

Go for it, Paulo

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hey Paulo remind me NEVER to give you a poor review!!! This is powerful and savage. I would not say from the flow and syntax it is your best. You have written better. never before felt you work needed to change but this one despite its strength of feeling will probably benefit from an edit here or there (oops, I'm dead!)

PS don't listen to Nev he's a big softie!

[Pól]

Thanks again John- I love your reviews.
I think my flow probably suffers where I have a specific message that I want to present, so it kinda resticts my choice of words. No doubt theres a way to get around this, but it beats me.
The grammar I have an excuse for- here we get taught grammar at the age of 8 or 9. At that stage I was in the dunce group (thats what it was actually called!) + so was never taught any. Weirdly I was later taught Latin, French + Irish grammar.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hey Paulo I was almost a dunce at school. Did all my learning after. Also have s**t to nil knowledge of poetry or English language. All I know is how I feel and that is what I speak in my attempts at poetry.

[Pól]

Well it works

[Neville]

Very powerful stuff here paulo - I like it a lot. AGT's N

[Pól]

I think this is my favourite of the poems i've written, Neville, so really pleased that you enjoyed it
PS you can tell me when my poems are crap, u know- i won't be offended

[Neville]

You should be very proud of it paulo. Oh' & I can assure you, I would not hesitate. I always try to be open, honest & objective & hope the sentiment is reciprocated. All Good Things, N

[Pól]

I am brutaly honest I'm afraid Neville, and it constantly gets me into bother.

[Neville]

Honesty is a characteristic we should all adopt as a minimum standard, it should not get us into trouble. Best, N

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Honesty is not a platitude my friend!