Capture it In a Jar, and Fade Away

Fucked up. Seriously my mind is a twisted place, and yet I'm proud of this. I would love if people would review this one.

And I'll die at your feet, a bloody mess, but so damn beautiful because anything near to you radiates perfection that breaks me into manageable pieces. I'd give anything to hold your beauty to the sky and compare it with the god we post on the road signs of our mind, and call fate. But I further myself from the you I understand because understanding elegance is a small, imperceptible way of pointing out all my own flaws. I scare myself because your beauty neglects the part of me others see, it tells me I'm shameful that my death will be the greatest progression of my soul. That the beauty of my mind lies in my blood. And it will trail to you, wherever you may be standing, because my blood recognizes perfection like others, holidays. It will search you out and climb your skin 'til your stained red with imperfection, the same path it ran inside of me. I will breathe for you and when you feel that noticeable tug in your mind, begging for release you'll give in. I know because it ran my torment too, and the blade leaves almost stunning scars. But don't worry the mind's heady tricks carry less value on the outside. You'll still be so stunning, and even in the blue of my tears you will see your hollow, lovely skin reflected back. Because I lived to watch you breathe. The pattern awing in its simplicity of in and out. Some small measure I'd never managed on my choked off repression of emotions begging to escape into a storm or a flattened, white-knuckle-clutched pillow. I am bitter, and a resolve of pure ambiguity. I live for your touch, and if you caress my face the way my mind wills you to my pleasure would kill us in a frenzy of bodies hitting the water creating a spectacular splash that is slowed to a fictional pace to convey every fraction of the moment. The beauty of eyes fluttering open and closed in the wind. The way our arms would reach toward the sky, begging internally for the wistful reverie of the above land, or maybe further, higher. The cacophony of silence as we hit the water in my deadened mindful movie. The music will be perfectly off-pitch creating the burning behind the witness's eyes that will not fade, but instead grow until it falls into teardrops that will resemble the droplets of splashed water the falling bodies, our falling bodies, create. And it will be the first time that next to you I will seem anywhere near beauty. But really I'll just be misanthropic and dead. You'd be stellar, you'd become the water and the sky and all that painters paint and writers write and men lessen. You are the world of me; you are the smell of night, and the taste of stars, you are the melody that whips through the willows of my thoughts. You are you too; you are your nail that traces unknown patterns on my skin, you are your soft breath on my neck as I sleep, you are your smile that rips me to shreds, you are your shudders in the night when terror attacks you without restraint.You kill me beautifully and I will go peacefully. You are my breaker but I am your braid that hangs in your hair and promises something different of tomorrow. I will die and be lost to the world, but you will always know me, always remember me. You tortured my thoughts, but I stained your soul, and should I ever pass by again you will not have to think for a second who I am. You will know, I am the one who took perfection and marred it in a way never thought possible. The stain is on your soul. Darling it will never leave. 

Reviews

[Whales]

Honestly I want to meet you and navigate through your mind. This is absolutely amazing in every which way. I say, and I'm serious when I say this, I say this is one of the most emotional, beautiful, magnificent and all around just a wonderful stories I have read in a long time. YOU are emotional, beautiful, magnificent and all around wonderful. Because for someone to write this, must have so much talent and creativity just waiting to BURST out and scream its heart out so that EVERYONE will know who you are and how much of a TERRIFIC writer you are!

[SophiaKathleen]

This is the nicest compliment anyone has ever given me on my writing. Thank you so much! You can't imagine how much it means.