If I had known.

A Story by secretly writing sad things

If I had known this would have been the end, I would not have done the things I did.

If I had known,

If I had known that this would have been the end.

I would have woken with a smile, turned around in your arms and snuggled closer to you.

You would have tighten your arms around me and kissed my forehead.

I would tell you how much I love you, and you would say it back.

We would hold each other until our stomach’s growl.

We would get ready for the day together, eat breakfast together.

You would talk about running away like you’re making a joke, but i know it is your deepest desire And I would not gently shove you away and tell you to be realistic.

I would say “let’s run away”. you would not believe me, but an hour later we would be in a taxi on our way to the airport.

Our suitcases would be barely filled, but we wouldn’t care.

We would not know where we would go, but we would be together and that is all that we would need.

We would go someplace random, no where special.

We would walk for hour through the streets holding hands, laughing and crying with happiness.

We would eat dinner and talk about everything and nothing at all.

We would make love and whisper sweet nothings to each other while we watch the sun rise again.

And I would close my eyes and the last thing I would have felt would have been your arms around me, your lips on mine. the last thing I would have heard would have been you saying

“I love you”.

My last thought would have been of you, of us.

But I didn't know.

So I woke up with a frown.

I moved out of your embrace and got ready for my day, alone.

When I ate breakfast you entered the kitchen and asked me to run away with you.

You don’t sound like you are joking, you’re pleading me like you know, like you know this would be the last opportunity.

I gently shove you away and tell you to be realistic.

As I walk passed you I don’t see the sadness on your face.

I don’t say I love you before I slam the door shut behind me.

I sit in a taxi on my way to work. we don’t talk all day, I don’t come home for dinner.

As I wait for a taxi late at night I don’t think about getting home and holding you.