Remembering time

I lay here, shattered by time,

creating its wrinkles on my face.

Forgetting the beauty of the rhyme,

the symbol of its grace.

I'm fighting to keep away from evil,

although time lets all escape.

Forgetting to breathe, nothing is civil,

we all are trapped in this state.

We scream, we stammer at lifes playground,

it's collapsing our childish dreams.

We are burnt by a ropes tight bound,

as the time ticks away at the seams.

Free or trapped, I become someone new,

the wiser girl time unraveled.

I am wise enough to break the few,

annoying things keeping me back to remain untraveled.

Author's Note

this is a fancy pattern i started writing. i hope yall will help me decide whether it sucks or not.

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I think it was good. I didn't think it sucked. I really liked it. Thanks for sharing. :)

[alias]

it was ok (ttyl about it)

[April]

it dnt suck at all

[Eric Cox]

I think you did a great job on this. Nicely done.

[Ali_Avery~7]

awww it sooo doesnt suck! :}