Sweet Reluctance

poem about my suckish love life

the soft, sweet smell of a whisper seeps

through a hole in a dreaded place.

It's quiet and sudden like the creaper.  It peeps

through to a sweet and joyful space.

Free, i find myself wanting more

of the toxic waste that the creaper dreads

looking back at me with chilling eyes,

I suddenly wish I was dead.

The way he stares at me I want to scream.

It's like he is envious of me for all my

wonderful blessings as i feel the same

of him although he makes me shy.

I feel myself draw nearer as he takes my place

in my world and he is blessed until,

I realize we traded our lives. I

slowly become cold and hollow.  I am ill,

from this place that was once so dreaded

by the one who stole my soul to make

him free.  As I lay in silence and my

eyes fill with tears, my heart will finally break.

He is free and wanting more as i slowly

turn envious of him watching him dance.

He is free from all his pain, and i feel

sorrow, my sweet reluctance.

Author's Note

i wrote this a long time ago, but i was scared for others to read it. I am not exactly sure what to call my writing. I change feelings in my poems to express my life. Changing slowly but never for a purpose.

Reviews

[Eric Cox]

Sad and done so very creatively. Great job on this.

[Ali_Avery~7]

this is very sad; like one of those "be careful what you wish for" poems. I especially liked this part:
Free, I find myself wanting more
of the toxic waste that the creeper dreads
looking back at me with chilling eyes