Thank you, Zac Cox

A Poem by Sebastian

A poem written for my dear friend Zac Cox.

Thank you, Zac Cox

Thank you Zac Cox, for being in my life,
for making me laugh so much,
and feeling better about myself,
though you've caused me much pain,
you'll always have a special place in my heart.
Thank you Zac Cox, for letting me call you Piddle-Pants;
and when you pissed on our friend Anna's bed,
you really let her know that you cared.
And when you phoned us non-stop,
complaining about needing more diapers,
you sent us on a roller coaster
of emotion and turmoil.
Zac Cox, you paid us to walk to Hy-Vee
and smuggle you diapers and Depends.
However, eventually the money stopped,
and hence you verbally assaulted me
so no more diapers for you.
Zac Cox, do you remember
when you used to stalk me?
I remember. You called me everyday.
Four times a day, waited for me at my door step,
followed me everywhere I went,
always had your menacing hands upon me.
These days, you stalk only via cell phone.
Did you know that stalking isn't a romantic gesture?
Poor Zac Cox, you really thought
that diapers would impress me.
And the constant bragging about
fake your Tourette's syndrome,
and how you are allegedly so small,
that you can't please a mouse.
Thank you Zac Cox, for making me laugh,
Through thick and thin, rain and sunshine.
I love your short temper, and your
random explosions of anger;
I adore your innocent childishness,
how you can't sit still
or keep your pipes from leaking.
But boy, you need to "buy some new threads...
'cause your look sure ain't kickin."
If I close my eyes, I can see your weird pants,
your tight chick pants that you wear over you Depends
as if to advertise.
And I can hear the crinkling and crunching
with "every step you take, every move you make"
Thank you Zac Cox, for being a big help.
With your fashionable purse handy,
I never have to worry
about losing an earring, just in case it falls out
Zac Cox, you really impress me;
the way you build Star Wars aircrafts out of legos,
your endurance; you can spend 17hrs a day on them.
And also Zac Cox, you are really quite imaginative,
the way you put shiny things and/or diapers
in a big wooden box, that you can lock
and hide it in your room, calling it treasure.
It astonishes me, Zac Cox,
that you still mercilessly flirt with me.
And when you spanked me, I did not appreciate it;
Nor did I when you took a tree branch,
and tried stabbing me in the a*s with it, that one day
Anna, you, and I were in the park together.
Zac, you only made me feel a little uncomfortable,
when you pressured me so much to order
re-usable diapers for you from the internet,
but I refused. You grew angry, and left.
But I wasn't aware, however, that you'd stalk Anna,
and walk to her house everyday, asking for diapers;
that thereby she had to hide in her closet.
I was just really frustrated, when Anna and I
were having some problems, and you turned out to be
nothing more than a fake cowardly interloper.
You were frustrated when she and I were friends,
how you had to have the attention divided,
because you just can't stand sharing me.
But I forgive you, dear. For now anyways.
I just wanted to say to you:
Thank you, Zac Cox.