battlefield

war between lovers is a terrible thing
the shards of broken hearts  are now used as daggers
to stab each other in the back
all the dreams you had and secrets you told
out for the world to know
protect your own honer
keep your pride
scream and shout
tell them to die
crying, bleeding,
blind rage
dying deep inside
the one you love
is now who you hate
you grasp your shard so tight you bleed
it seeps in and taints your soul
all around you the reminder of them
makes you fall to your knees and have to ask
why?

Reviews

[duddbudda]

to me a bit too cliche' especially the middle section of shorter lines
I'd look to do more with the shards motif (not just hearts but broken glasses (drinking or seeing), vases, mirrors, souls, who knows) and the battle stuff (daggers n swords n guns etc are properly phallic always worth swinging in a relationship piece esp if he was aa bit of a dick)
honer=honour
Plenty of passion though and solid beginning/opening