Mother, it's been so very long
Since the sweetness of yours I have known
Your loving arms as sunshine surround
A hand soft in tenderness you used to hold
Until the moments now and still
With open eyes and drying tears
Swept silent beneath the anguish
Are kept, like secrets from ever slipping here
It's within the pains I will always find you
When I peer around life's corners, through shadows and I'm anywhere
A voice inside whispers further inward interprets
“Your little boy will never disappear"
And in the meridian of those lost hours
I laugh myself awake to sour sorrows
Because your ghost it's relentless in its echoes
Which are deep, piercing me like bitter arrows
Mother, in Zen I am missing you
But my strength it wanes as hole in heart longs
Why did you never stop to think
That by your eldest child in your suicide you might be found
Now what seems like muddled dreams ago
Still haunts with one mere question “Why?”
And the word I tried to tell you countless times
But, you took away any chance I ever had to bid you farewell and say at the very last "goodbye"