Mother, it's been so very long Since the sweetness of yours I have known Your loving arms as sunshine surround
A hand soft in tenderness you used to hold
Until the moments now and still With open eyes and drying tears
Swept silent beneath the anguish Are kept, like secrets from ever slipping here
It's within the pains I will always find you When I peer around life's corners, through shadows and I'm anywhere A voice inside whispers further inward interprets “Your little boy will never disappear"
And in the meridian of those lost hours I laugh myself awake to sour sorrows Because your ghost it's relentless in its echoes Which are deep, piercing me like bitter arrows
Mother, in Zen I am missing you But my strength it wanes as hole in heart longs
Why did you never stop to think That by your eldest child in your suicide you might be found
Now what seems like muddled dreams ago Still haunts with one mere question “Why?”
And the word I tried to tell you countless times But, you took away any chance I ever had to bid you farewell and say at the very last "goodbye"
So sad Michael and awful that you were the one to find your mother. Another wonderful tribute - hold on to the good memories :)
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Yeah, very selfish of her to leave five orphans, yet I've learned sometimes pain can be so strong yo.. read moreYeah, very selfish of her to leave five orphans, yet I've learned sometimes pain can be so strong you can lose perspective. One blessing is that the pain from my mother's suicide is what drove to writing poetry in order to temper the turmoil. Thanks for your wonderful comments and insights.
7 Years Ago
absolutely when someone is in such despair as to take their own life, i'm sure they do lose all pers.. read moreabsolutely when someone is in such despair as to take their own life, i'm sure they do lose all perspective - recently my nephews friend took his own life, apparently he was well loved, had lots of friends, loving family and no-one saw it coming, - we can only pray they are at peace now and have escaped the turmoil they experienced on this earth - I admire your strength for getting through such a difficult time in your life :)
The loss is overwhelming, the tragedy inconsolable. Leaves me wondering how anyone can overcome teh enormity of such pain and the legacy left behind for all. The final lines are heart-wrenching. It reads fresh from the heart, beautifully done.
Posted 10 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
My apologies for not responding to your heartfelt comment. Thank much. We in tragedy choose to becom.. read moreMy apologies for not responding to your heartfelt comment. Thank much. We in tragedy choose to become victims or find a greater strength. I my friend have choose the latter which is more times harder.
I really missed reading your writing because of the great emotion you put into it- it's so sincere. Your one of those writers where you can't describe how greatly they touch you and what their words do. You just touch me in amazing away, wonderfully written.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Wow! I'm blown away by your comments. Thank you so much. It makes me feel good knowing my words can .. read moreWow! I'm blown away by your comments. Thank you so much. It makes me feel good knowing my words can do that. This is a very personal poem. There will always be a raw place on my heart because of this tragic event.
10 Years Ago
Your welcome :) And yes your words have made in a difference in my writing life- very inspiring. And.. read moreYour welcome :) And yes your words have made in a difference in my writing life- very inspiring. And I'm sorry to hear that
A beautifully sad poem. I don't think I dwell as a little girl at all, but I understand a great deal of the loss in this write. My mother died 31 years ago to cancer. It was a painful quick ending as she hadn't been diagnosed for but a few weeks - and although terribly sad and lost for a bit since I was young, I am grateful that she did not suffer long.
Well penned, my friend!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thanks, my mother committed suicide when I was 15 and dad died from leukemia the next.
11 Years Ago
We have similar time tables. I was 14 when my mother died of cancer, 17 when my dad died from his di.. read moreWe have similar time tables. I was 14 when my mother died of cancer, 17 when my dad died from his diabetes. Changed my entire I direction in life - for the better. I'd like to think my mother's cancer saved her... She (and all of us kids) had a very hard life. My father... Well, good riddance. I can say I have forgiven so as to not have my childhood weigh on my heart,but never forgotten...
Wow, I was the oldest of five. I let the loss take me deeper into my abyss. It wasnt until I got mar.. read moreWow, I was the oldest of five. I let the loss take me deeper into my abyss. It wasnt until I got married and had kids that I start living for something other than myself.
11 Years Ago
Youngest of seven. I moved out a year after my mom died and never looked back. My brothers and I get.. read moreYoungest of seven. I moved out a year after my mom died and never looked back. My brothers and I get along great and all that are still living are successful, well adjusted, and refuse to allow the past to define us. I found my way very quickly, yet I know many in similar circumstances are not so lucky or as strong... all depends on how you look at it. I had luck, strength, and found my faith. I have a fabulous life and thankful everyday :)