A war in heaven reluctantly concedes To the lullabies in the night singing softly Covering us in heavenly sighs, whispers blow As feathers falling light so grace intensely Escaping God's whitened watery coves
And somewhere up above I believe there are angels also grooming Thus, for the twilight showing, shedding as they rush The world as such, always in a hurry But, for an instance out of nowhere An avalanche of marvel captivates the hush
And in my distant mind I most certainly can relate As to the stars and ancient sands of grain My tongue tasting these miracles of wonder Reaching further to acquiesce In greetings, to miniature designs Crafted out of God's very hands of great
While, celestial bodies move Constant shadows consume Around assumptions of the human mind Thus, begins the dusk and ends To the place where a snowflake dies
Look around... Who is it that seems to care Or thinks to ponder the manual labor input here With hammers, chisels, nuts and bolts Never a witness to a mere mistake Or upon discovery of any kind of erring
Yet, I listen… to the silence… Extracting all its pleasure Before, another million frigid seedlings dare Met with daunting fate And in the still of tranquil Neither snowflake cries out or offers up complaints
For a day Or merely several nights evermore A complex purpose Or unto thus, a simpler more existence Then, I pause... unto supposition
As I meditate the atmoshere of message
Guesses drift off, into what's last unknown Of the never ending knowing Embracing their provident life Watch as they rely on each other ever closer In a bank of ice, waiting for the melting
Elegant write- very deep. You can feel through your writing, that it comes from your heart. Dramatic, eloquent- 'And in my distant mind I most certainly can relate, As to the stars and ancient sands of grain, My tongue tasting these miracles of wonder, Reaching further to acquiesce, In greetings, to miniature designs, Crafted out of God's very hands of great' - one of my favorite verses. It has a wonderful easy flow to it and its quite unique in idea and style. I've only read 2 of your poems- but I really enjoy the way you write and look forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing this beautifully written piece.
'While, celestial bodies move
Constant shadows consume
Around assumptions of the human mind
Thus, begins the dusk and ends
To the place where a snowflake dies' -
Very interesting line & great idea for a title! Nicely done!
This takes us on a lovely little journey but what I love is the gathering together of each tiny little particle to create one larger body.
I guess like any poem it's open to interpretation but with this one it really gave me that feeling that the hidden message here is that no matter how insignificant you feel something or someone is, if you bring enough of these "types" together, they will create something larger and more important, and much more visible.
Like a community, such as we have here. Or if you want to venture down political lines or religious...
Ok, let's not do that. Just in case we don't agree. :-)
Of course the "death" or melting of the snowflakes can also be considered a cleanse or purge to make way for the new ideas and leaders of the future coming together.
Or...............
This poem could be JUST about snowflakes and if would be no less beautiful than it is, and just as delightful to read. Sorry for the extremely long winded review. :-)
To summarize, great write, fantastic imagery, good flow. I liked it. A lot.
I could quote my favourite lines but I'd just be reciting the whole piece if I attempted to do that.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Awesome review! You pointed out a perspective i didn't even see but the latter is what my intention .. read moreAwesome review! You pointed out a perspective i didn't even see but the latter is what my intention is. Do we take the Lord's handy work for granted or try to appreciate it? Thanks for reading.
10 Years Ago
Depends on your frame of kind I guess. :-).
And what you believe.
10 Years Ago
Oops, that should be mind. Not kind.
10 Years Ago
:-). .
10 Years Ago
I just hope that readers will something in my poetry that gives them satisfaction, whatever that may.. read moreI just hope that readers will something in my poetry that gives them satisfaction, whatever that may be. I would hope all poets write to somehow move the reader any other motivation besides therapeutic reasons seems senseless to me.
10 Years Ago
Will feel........
10 Years Ago
Yes, well. Some of mine might be offensive due to bad language so be warned...
We all have our.. read moreYes, well. Some of mine might be offensive due to bad language so be warned...
We all have our moods. But yes, I do agree with you. It's why I joined. To write what I feel.
Yeah, I do find vulgarity offensive and detrimental to one's soul. I also understand ones freedom of.. read moreYeah, I do find vulgarity offensive and detrimental to one's soul. I also understand ones freedom of expression. I appreciate those that put warnings on their work. Although, I wont read them or comment on them.
Wow, didn't know there was so much to tell about a snowflake? This is truly deep on a philosophical level. Really made me think and you wrote it perfectly. I will never look at snow the same way again, hahah.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
what can I say, lol but seriously sometimes I really do not know where this stuff comes from. Obviou.. read morewhat can I say, lol but seriously sometimes I really do not know where this stuff comes from. Obviously its from somewhere in side. Thanks brother.
I was amazed myself that I wrote this. I wonder often how much the Lord puts into his work. Thanks F.. read moreI was amazed myself that I wrote this. I wonder often how much the Lord puts into his work. Thanks Frieda.
10 Years Ago
You just can't help yourself, can you? ;-) My pleasure....
10 Years Ago
You need to knock that chip off your shoulder cuz you cant help making digs at something you don't u.. read moreYou need to knock that chip off your shoulder cuz you cant help making digs at something you don't understand. Touche.
It really does. Sometimes its a curse. I always want to know the why of things. This frustrates my w.. read moreIt really does. Sometimes its a curse. I always want to know the why of things. This frustrates my wife at times, lol.
11 Years Ago
Hahaha, my best wishes to her, Mike. :)
11 Years Ago
She needs them putting up with man child crying out from the wilderness. Lol
Very beautiful and profound. I don't think I'll ever look at a snowflake quite the same again. A soft flow to you words, as if the snow gently cascades with your poem quietly being spoken along as the flakes drift down. Excellent write!
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Wow, thanks. I never thought it was quite as good as you describe, but this is my personal favorite.
Nature is portrayed so beautifully in this piece, M.G. I love the imagery; the reader is carried gently through the poem. Great concluding line. I enjoyed this!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks, I showed my wife your profile picture because you look eerily like our sister-in-law Maria's.. read moreThanks, I showed my wife your profile picture because you look eerily like our sister-in-law Maria's twin sister.
11 Years Ago
Hmmm... that's cool. I do not have a twin, though it is no surprise that I might bear a resemblance.. read moreHmmm... that's cool. I do not have a twin, though it is no surprise that I might bear a resemblance to someone related to a Maria... Italian features and all... :)
It seems to me that you love to dance through the snow...swirling and twirling...in a moonlight escapade..snow is so magical ...so cold and blanched... but oh how it brings warmth in smoky breath, rosy cheeks & child hearts.I think you may even secretly make snowballs and hide them in the freezer.LOL In all seriousness though I love the way you relate snow with heaven and the concept that it can be captured in ice..frozen and never lost...a prize in every melting piece...I miss snow :)