Mother, Your Tears Were Never Meant For Me

An estranged child.

Mother dearest,
May you never fret
Over me, your first born
Who is furthest from you yet

 

Be cautious
Ne’er undo what worries
But, accrue those drops of love
For, of your oldest never were they meant

 

Save the locket heart
Hold back tepid tears
For another child of sooner moments
That they may be more wisely spent

 

When hearth is warm
Comfort further my adoring sibs
Hold them tight and oh, so close
As to feel your caring, of a lasting breath

 

Mine own love shall be as an offering
That is only made for them
As I make my way into the world
I'll find myself free from our regrets

 

Oh, mother dearest sweet

Your tears were never meant for me
But, if you must, think of son
Be it thus, in dreams when you rest

 

And, I will think of you, dear mother
Merely, when nothing else is left

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Such a poignantly arresting read, being the first born and familiar with this feeling, this one resonated in my bones...amazing work, well said.

[Michael G. Smith]

I wanted my mother to use her energies on loving my four younger siblings since she had a hard time relating to me as a teenager and in turn I would use what should have been hers also to show extra love for my sibs.

[Frieda P]

I have four younger siblings also, well had until my sister passed. I got what you were trying to say here...very selfless of you.

[Michael G. Smith]

Strange how we have similarities. My sister Julie suffers from our mental curse more than any of us. I have been concerned that she may do the unspeakable one day.

[Frieda P]

I hope not, no one should ever have to suffer through that....I hope she's getting the help she so desperately needs if that's the case.

[Pryde Foltz]

Why is it that when our mother's disappoint us, it hurts the hardest. Such an emotional and powerful write.

[Michael G. Smith]

Because they are the nurtures of life. It seemed my mother didn't know how to love us kids after we reached a certain age, no more hugs, kisses or I love you'd and I was the oldest of five.

[Pryde Foltz]

That is sad. I am sorry.

[Michael G. Smith]

It just made me want to show love to my own children more and now I have two grandchildren to teach love to.

[Pryde Foltz]

Affection is so important to our emotional and physical health.

[Michael G. Smith]

I wholeheartedly agree. Feeling loved brings one more dimension to our lives and also keeps us in tune with our spirits.

[Avinash]

As Rita mentioned, nothing can calm your heart more than forgiveness. Al we can do is not to repeat them to our children. May be we need forgiveness more for ourselves than we owe to others.

[Michael G. Smith]

You're right we do. I wrote as a reflection of how I felt at the time of my youth.

[Rita L. Sev]

I cannot imagine this feeling. You have expressed it so poignantly, Mike - All we can do with the past hurts is to try to put them into perspective and forgive...

[Michael G. Smith]

Sing it sister!! You are so right, for we must forgive all.

[shallimarRose]

"Save the locket heart
Hold back tepid tears
For another child of sooner moments
That they may be more wisely spent"

I feel this as pain of abandonment maybe figuratively. You were the child of a first union and your siblings whom you love dearly are perhaps step sisters and/or brothers? Great piece here. I love the final lines. shallimarRose

[Michael G. Smith]

My mother didn't know how to love us children once we left the elementary school age; no more hugs, kisses, I love you's. I wasn't aware at that time the was schizophrenia on heard side of the family. I ended up coming home from school early one day to find she took her life, as before her after her did my uncles. So this piece is my trying not to let this turn me into the victim we always ear about from others as justification for bad actions.

[shallimarRose]

Schizophrenia also darkens my family so I understand this more then you know. Its odd how it gets so much stronger as time goes on.. progresses with age. I applaud you this piece hun.. xoxo Rose

[Michael G. Smith]

I think if I didn't have such a strong relationship with Christ and my life it may have taken over my life. Thank goodness for therapeutic poetry also.

[shallimarRose]

Agape' to you my friends.. Yes poetry very therapeutic.. I was in poetic therapy all night and day yesterday.. Rose

[Michael G. Smith]

Thanks, what does Agape mean?

[shallimarRose]

Christian love..