coming back stronger

In three years i have gone through what seems like hell on earth and i have felt very much alone in all of it too, but knowing that i am not has made me feel better about what has happened to me. 

In 2013 i was hanging out with a friend of mine from my high school days. Everything was going ok until he started to hit on me and i had become uncomfortable with it so i told him i had to go home so he stopped hitting on me and walked me out of the apartment, only as he shut the door behind him he shoved me against the wall, backing me into a corner and was groping me and trying to unzip my pants. trying to get away from him he put pressure on my arms and i fell victim to him raping me in the hallway of the apartment complex. 

i did finally get away from him after he was done and drove home, trying to keep calm and act as if nothing had happened but i got home and snapped, leaving me crying in the corner of my bedroom and my boyfriend trying to figure out what had happened to me. 

for two years i have struggled to survive for my kids sake, i hope they never find out what happened to me in 2013 because i dont want to be weak in their eyes. I now see myself as a survivor and it has taken a lot of effort on my part to come back from being a victim. i wear a braclet with "Survivor" on it and it reminds me that i am stronger every day for what i have gone through. 

being a mother of two young kids has made it even harder to deal with what i have and to act like i have not gone through anything, to be strong in front of them when all i want to do is cry and hide myself. but every day i am stronger then before and i know i can over come the fear of men, always watching over my shoulder. it will become the past.  

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad story. Something take time to learn to live with. Some memories become walls of safety. I believe a good thing. I like the want to lose the fear and move on to another part of life at the ending. Thank you for sharing the powerful story.
Coyote

[Dark Empress]

It is hard to go through things like this, willing yourself to move on and live even though you just want to crawl in a dark hole. Keep on living, one day this will be an after thought...I know.