Ratophobia

A little horror comedy

What is that crawling past my foot,
With red beady eyes and the color of soot?
A small rodent biting me like a piece of cheese
Through my veins I feel infected by disease
Better call in my the black cat
Because everywhere I look I see a rat
Teeth are gnawing through my skin
Causing me to faint after feeling the room spin
Maybe soon I will grow a tail
And develop a greater sense of smell
They scurry into my nightmares and fears
Biting off part of my nose and my left ear
Maybe whiskers will poke out from my face
My ears will be pointed and be replaced
I will create a rat race of my own
I'll plague this world and never be alone
My hands and feet will turn into claws
Contaminating you with rabies foaming in my jaws
I'll soon be devouring the world slowly like a gnat
Don't be scared I'm just turning into a over sized rat

Reviews

[Storm]

This gave me the heeby jeebies and made me giggle. The thought of rats crawling past me, biting me...AHHHHHH... The thought of turning into one? LMAO Excellent write. I do have a few suggestions for you.
What is that crawling past my foot?
With red beady eyes and the color of soot (I suggest putting the question mark after soot and a comma after foot.)

Causing me to faint and the room to spin(I recommend playing with words here as in reality you can't see the room spin after you have fainted. Maybe try saying something like- Causing me to faint after feeling the room spin)

1.Maybe soon I will grow a tail
And develop a greater sense of smell
2.They scurry into my nightmares and fears
Biting off part of my nose and my left ear (I think the poem would flow better if you switched these, as in the beginning you describe the fear and experience of the rat and then go on to imagine turning into one.)

I'll soon be eating off the land that fat(this sentence doesn't quite make sense.)

Thank you for sharing. This was a great read. Best wishes to you.

[Sean M. Addams]

Thank you for all the suggestions.

[Sami Khalil]

Scary to the bones. Plus I do like how you shifted it to the rat race. Everyone is searching for their piece of cheese in a hide and seek game. You are expanding your horizon dear poet. Very creative.

[Sami Khalil]

"I will create a rat race of my own
I'll plague this world and never be alone
My hands and feet will turn into claws"

[Ladysue]

Omg you did it and did it well. yikes made my skin crawl but made me laugh too.
Great title...I don’t not like rats. I do not like them at all. lol.. creepy fun read...