HALF

 

                                I blew away

Half my brain

To make me feel

Half the pain

 

I guess tears will sting

And eyes will swell

Knowing half of me

Will burn in hell

 

I cut away

Half my heart

Letting half the love

Drift apart

 

Now half of me

Will fall in love

The other half

Will rest above

 

I burned away

Half my face

To hide the look

Of my disgrace

 

Now half of me

Will be deformed

The other half

Is left to mourn

 

Half the feeling

Half the hurt

Half is buried

Beneath the dirt

 

   Half a soul

A life to gain

Half of me

Without the pain

Reviews

[Everchanging Disaster]

Wow, this is a truly great write-very descriptive in regards to the lengths one will go in order to live without anguish. I love the dark and ominous tones you use. I wouldn't change a thing-If you go chopping your work of art and cutting out single words you meter will be destroyed. Most line carry 4 syllables and so I disagree with "Imperfectly Me".

I really enjoyed reading this poem that is so full of emotion it spills onto the reader...thanks for sharing!

[Georgia Gypsy]

Very powerful piece, i identify with it a little too much....sometimes i have each one of these thoughts and feelings, great job putting it into words.....
hugs-kelli:)

[Unknown Soldier]

JAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I find it quite funny!

I guess tears will sting
And eyes will swell
Knowing half of me
Will burn in hell

I love these verses

[~angelalala~]

absolutely amazing. this is probably my favorite of yours. dark, deep, haunting. i love the religious undertones. great write.

[{Rated Vee For FAMOUS}]

this is an amazing write. its dark and deep... i love it. it is very well writen and the words are really discriptive. the reader can almost feel this person's pain.
awesome write!

[Bamber AKA. AM-HAM]

WOW, that is amazing. Slightly suicidal[some might think] but It was very dicriptive and very familiar. So many people go through pain that is unbearable, I'm sure every person has similair [though not as well written-lol] thoughts atleast once in their life. Good job.

[Steve Thompson]

the torn individual, yo speak it in the piece, lod and clearly...showing this battle between the two, I like you words.
Interesting

[lAcEy_LoO's Poems Site]

"I cut awayHalf my heartLetting half the loveDrift apart" I loved this part cause i know to well what its like!!!! Great great great job!!!

[octane143]

Holy S**t! Pardon my language but W-O-W!!! WOWOWOW! This is absolutely stunningly beautiful! So much pain here. I really don't know what to say, I'm kinda in awe. It sounds all so familiar, like you plucked what I couldn't identify outta my head and molded it perfectly!
Seriously I am stunned. . .

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

"I burned away Half my face To hide the look Of my disgrace" I think it might be better if you take out the my in "of my disgrace"

This was really good as usual the flow was very good only one area seemed it could be improved (i stated it above) This had some great imagery in here and it was a disturbing piece that kind of makes one think... Good job!