First Chapter

First Chapter

A Chapter by Seanh12
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Here is the first chapter of Mystery Boy..

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Our story begins on a cold dull and miserable Monday morning. Robert was getting ready for his first day at secondary school he was quite looking forward to it. When he was ready his mother called him “Breakfast is ready love”, he shouted back in a shy quiet voice “Thank you”.  After he finished breakfast he took his plate into the kitchen came back into the living room and said “goodbye to his day and kissed his mum goodbye”. His parents waved him off and said “good luck and have a good day”. Robert set off towards school. His school was two miles from his house. Robert was walking thought back alleyways and he saw a group of boys in front of him with the same school uniform on, he started walking towards them and then group of boys stopped at looked towards him. “Look what we have here guys a new kid”. “Hello my name is Robert he said”, “ I don’t care what your name is we are going to make your life a living hell and you will wish you had never ever been born”. “The other boys started beating him to a plump and were tethering him the last thing the bullies said to him if you tell anyone it was us we will kill you by the end of the day. The bullies stole his money and run away. Eventually Robert gets up and starts walking to school. Robert finally makes it to school with a minute or two to spend he was very shaking up and nervous about walking into school again knowing that the bullies will be there waiting for him they latest victim. When he arrived his uniform was a mixture of black and red, red because the bullies had given him a bloody nose and he had and thick lip and his eye was in a bad way but despite this he was in a good mood to see what classes he would have.  



© 2013 Seanh12


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Reviews

I agree with Jordan, more character development please

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Seanh12

11 Years Ago

Me too I agree
i loved it but when he is talking to his mother and his mum replies you would always start a new paragraph sorry for being such a hypocrite lol :

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Seanh12

11 Years Ago

thanks will change it soon. I hat this chapter really.
ultra maniac

11 Years Ago

its a good one lol :) i enjoyed it!!
Seanh12

11 Years Ago

Why thank you glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read and review it.
Really good 1st chapter. Really makes someone wanna read more.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Seanh12

11 Years Ago

Thank you and thank you for taking the time to read it..
Interesting start! :D Only a few grammatical errors, and you switched from past to present tense. It was very good otherwise! You've got a very interesting story. ;)

100/100

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Seanh12

11 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and and thank you

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Added on January 20, 2013
Last Updated on February 6, 2013


Author

Seanh12
Seanh12

Ebbw Vale, United Kingdom



About
I live in Cardiff, I love writing, I write horror/thriller and murder mysteries. I am currently studying Film Studies at Cardiff Atrium University . I am a geek I love comic books and graphic novels,.. more..

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