Dolls House

There was a spoilt young girl called Alex who always got want she wanted and always got her own way. But that all changed on night when she went to the carnival.

 

 

The Dolls House

 

Once there was a young girl called Alex who liked getting her own way. She was rich and spoilt and always got what she wanted.

 

One day a leaflet came through the post.  It said that for one night a carnival was coming to town. Alex ran to her parents and told them that they were taking her there.

 

  When Alex and her parents got to the carnival it was a dark night and already busy. She rushed already to the Ferris Wheel.

 

  She crossed her arms impatiently and when her parents finally caught up with her she made them pay for two rides on the Ferris Wheel because they made her wait.

 

She tried to win a prize on the coconut shy but she lost. She turned to a little girl who had just won the prize Alex wanted and tried to snatch it from her.

 

“Give me that toy NOW” Alex shouted.

 

     Bartholomew the circus barker watched as the little girl cried. He had been watching Alex since she had arrived. Smiling, he stepped out of his tent and snuck up to Alex

 

“Psst! I know where there is a secret game to be played” he whispered.

  

 

Alex followed Bartholomew to the tent and they crept inside. On a table was an old Doll’s House and next to it a bright, pink drink on a table.

     “ What’s that drink?” Alex demanded.

     “ It’s a special drink but its not for you. You should not drink it.” Bartholomew replied. 

     “I want that drink and YOU are not going to stop me.” Alex stomped to the table, picked up the bottle and drank the whole bottle.

 

 

Alex let out a cry as the world grew bigger and bigger around her.  Bartholomew laughed as he picked her up and placed her into the doll’s house.

 

“ I told you it was not yours to drink. This is what happens to naughty children who always get their way.”  

 

 

                        Alex looked around the room. She was not scared, she was very angry.

               “ How dare he do this to me. Just wait until I tell my mother and father.”Alex wandered around the  dolls house until she opened a door and found a boy hiding in a corner of the room. She asked him where she was but he did not answer. He began to walk towards her and she could see there was something not right about him

 

“Don’t come near me you’re weird!” Alex cried as she ran out of the room. She tried opening other doors but all was locked and she began to get nervous. She decided to go back to speak to the strange boy but when she opened the door she screamed.

 

The young boy she had been speaking to was propped up in the chair by the fire. He had completely turned to wood. Scared and confused she ran from the room.

 

 

She started trying all the doors but none of them would open. She decided to go upstairs and try the doors up there. As she was walking upstairs she heard a strange thumping noise.

 

She looked down and saw that her right leg looked strange and the hollow noise was coming from her.

   

Up and up and up she went but none of the doors would open. Crying and frightened she reached the top floor.  “ Hello?! Hello” she screamed. “Will someone please help”. One last door was left. She tried the handle and the door opened.  Instead of a room she found a wooden staircase. They twisted and turned and she could not see the top.

   

Both of her legs were aching as she climbed up the stairs. When she reached the top she gave a cry “No, no, no, no!”

 

Alex was horrified as she look across the room. All over the room and in every corner were piles of wooden dolls. She felt her body becoming stiff and looked down to see skin had turned the same wooden brown as the dolls.

 

 

“ I am… really…really…sorry “ She gasped between tears

Nobody could hear her and her tears stopped as her eyes turned glassy.

 

She fell to the floor, her body frozen and made of wood.

 

 

“ We have a winner!” Bartholomew shouted with glee. “ Now for your prize”.

 

He reached into the dolls house and pulled out a small doll.

 

 

 “ Awww she’s so pretty” The little girl said as she held the small doll with the white dress and red hair.

 

Bartholomew leaned over and whispered “Good little girls get treats and bad little girls get punished.”

 

Bartholomew laughed as the girl walked away clutching her new doll.

 

 

         The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[inconsistentsea]

Fantastic idea. How clever. It would have made a great episode of this kids show I used to watch called 'Are You Afraid of the Dark?' because they usually had some sort of moral or lesson at the end. I suppose monsters don't do the trick anymore and we have to come up with new ways to scare kids in to behaving, although sometimes they seem just as weird as an old woman with chicken legs..... This is not a story to be forgotten.

[Seanh12]

Thank you for the coment and aww thank you for thinking its a fantasic idea and how clever it is because i think it is. I think the story is great i love it anyway. I was inspired from an episode of doctor who that i had just watched called Night Terrors.

[Dakshta]

That was seriously awesome! You have done really nice work here! :)

[Seanh12]

Wow thank you. Thank you for your nice review means a lot. Thank you for reading it

[Claudia Stark]

It has potential but we need to dislike the child more to be invested in her ending.

[Seanh12]

Thank you for taking the time to read it, I love the ending I think it fits the story well but thank you for your thoughts and feedback means a lot

[RachelReaper]

whoa! This is like a modern day fairytale (and a very cool one, too). You kept it short and simple, but with a great idea behind it with stuff you could easily visualize. I loved it!

[Seanh12]

Wow well thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed written it. Thank you for taking the time to read and review it means a lot to me. Thank you very much.

[RachelReaper]

:) anytime, buddy

[Tracey C.]

Haha! This was amazing, great job. Great meaning to this story. The imagery was great also.

[Seanh12]

Why thank you glad you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writting it. Means a lot to me that you read it and reviewed it thank you.

[Tracey C.]

you are welcome!

[AK]

Great piece! I love the way it has a fairy-tale feel to it. The story was very well written, in a dark, chilly and mysterious kind of way. *shivers*
Keep writing!

[Seanh12]

Why thank you, you are so kind thank you for taking the time to read it and review it. Glad you enjoyed it. I loved writen it. Yeah It was meant to have a fairy tale feel to it but thank you glad you enjoyed it and fought it did. I love this piece of work, I am proud of this piece.

[Be myself!]

Holy s**t. Excuse my language. I love it. That was just absolutely amazing. So twisted and dark in a way. I love it!

[Seanh12]

Aww thank you for this review means a lot to me. Glad you enjoyed it. I am glad you think it is dark and twisted! You are excused for your language i don't care anyway

[Be myself!]

Ok. lol

[saroosh]

fantastic ending!!!

[Seanh12]

aww thank you glad you liked the ending.

[InsanityWriter]

Very nice. :D I really enjoyed it. ^_^

[Seanh12]

aww thank you glad you enjoyed it might think of another piece of in this style x

[AYVID N]

Thats a terrifying end!At least she could have been given some warnings. Very powerful write.

[Seanh12]

Thank you. I love the ending she gets what she derseved

[Seanh12]

Its meant to be terrifyingg and not have a very nice ending. I wanted it to be a terrying fairytayle but not for chlidren. I wanted it to be dark frighting and scary and the ending had to be scary and horrible and evil as well. But thank you for your review and for reading it.