The Truth: pt 1 Depression

know my truth by hearing my words

Oh you f*****g prick, 

you beautiful insolent monster.

How you murder my happiness drench me with pain.

How dare you take my loved ones,

and turn their smiles vice versa. 

How dare you take all my good deeds

 and burn them to ash.

How the hell am i supposed to kill my demons,

when they are like hydra. 

And why the hell does nobody understand my smile? I am Loki. 

Take my soul I'm not OK im sick they say,

at 13 you tried to take me away.

Oh you f*****g prick, 

you beautiful insolent monster.

Author's Note

constructive criticism is essential

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I like the opening it’s a conversation with you and your depression
Like a prick a monster devil
Not you the affliction
Also liked the last line how you described it beautiful like it’s your mate your comfort isolating friend
Look forward to reading more
I’ve written A few on depression but one poem on depression if you want I’ll share it with you it’s long though lol I wrote it three years ago
Take care

[JayG]

If the reader was one this is addressed to it might have meaning, because they would know what the piece it refers to. But as it is, someone we know nothing about is raging against someone unknown for events unspecified. All a reader can say in response is, "Uh-huh," because they have no way in and no context for your meaning.

The idea of poetry isn't to tell the reader that you're angry at someone unknown. Are you burning to know that there are people I dislike? Of course not. The idea is to make the reader feel as you do, and for the same reasons. But since the details of that are in your head, but never made it to the page...

Make people care, not just know.