GRAHAM CRACK ME

tonight

my eyes are cloudy
there is a layer of fog where i need to be seeing clear
and tonight
i am in my kitchen
up way too late
eating graham crackers in the dark
in a tank top and underware
the crumbs they fall
fall to the floor
fall on the table
fall into the folds of my shirt
and i do not care
as the white moonlight casts itself upon my calf
which is propped up on the chair beside me
wasted
i feel wasted of energy
in a place where revival is so desperately needed
i eat another graham cracker
leave the empty box on the counter
because the garbage is too full to stuff one more item inside
i sit back down to stare up at the moon
but it's so heavy
my head is so extremely heavy
i lay it on the table
the crumbs of cracker scratch and sink into my cheek
but i don't move
my arms they hang at my sides
the breeze blows through my open kitchen windows
and i remember
that in the back family room of our house stands our 5 foot christmas tree
with white lights,
weighed down with homemade ornaments
ones painted with cheap acrylics we bought 4 years ago
and it's perfect
but these graham cracker crumbs are starting to really bother my skin
up
i must
get up
wipe the food from face
sweep it out of my unwashed unbrushed hair
and walk myself to sleep
i'm all cracked up
like the graham crackers that i eat in the dark
at midnight
i forgot what happened today
i forget what's coming next
i forget where i left my head
everything's got crumbs but everything's not crumbling
i slither myself into bed
in a room where i've left too many lights on for slumber
even so
my eyelids
they nail themselves together.
goodnight white moon.
goodnight tuesday december 11th 2007.
i am still whole.

Reviews

[SR Urie]

Lovely Rachel,
Deep and empty thoughts of despair and sleepiness and loneliness in the darkness of midnight. To me it seems 12/11/07 was a morning that you had to get up from by yourself, after being left alone with your solitude and your cupboard, with your crackers. Such a beauty you are, lovely Rachel.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

lol another one with a song...it would be ok if i liked the music you used i guess. however that is not the point. again i feel that there is a nice pece of writing here shrouded by some corny song in the background.
Anyway that is just my opinion, and you do have a nice way with words. You seem tot ake great care with the things you write.

[@dan@]

everything's got crumbs but everything's not crumbling

Very nice.........

I liked where you went with this write. Pleasant and insightful ending

[Adam Greenfield]

Fantastic, Rachel. I love the way you have set up the feeling right away with "my eyes are cloudy." Immediately the reader (aka me) falls right into the emotion. There are also so many good metaphors in here like the "always" white lights on the Christmas tree and the garbage too full to stuff one more thing in it (sounds like you and I might live a parallel garbage existence).

Glad you re-posted this one, Rachel. Awesome write.

[Jaffa Forbes]

as always very good! it made you understand and feel the situation, not just look at it from above. nice music too...

jaff

[TL Boehm]

wow. this is deep, resonant and terribly honest writing. I have moments like this...i can't put them down poetically but they do exist. You captured so many feelings in this one.

[Tara]

I must reiterate what the others have said. Great imagery . I felt like i was there...felt the heaviness of exhaustion, depression against the perfection of the white lighted Christmas tree. Great emotion, great ending

[Dezaraye]

I LOVE this piece, Rachel. I love the repetition of the Graham cracker crumbs and how they are everywhere and annoying you. The random thoughts set this off and definitely set the mood and tone of how you were feeling. Awesome write!

[Kiri J]

... sigh.

you always know how to make goosebumps prickle all over my skin with the way you end things.
you paint this picture so vivdly i feel like i'm in that dark kitchen with you.
as always... hate the feeling, love the girl.

K

[George Love]

Very full of personal imagery, feelings and emotion. We've all been there, exhasuted at the end of a day, whether good or bad, and had these same feelings. Well done