I CANNOT

I CANNOT

A Poem by rachel D

i cannot cry

 

it's stuck somewhere

the liquid mess, lodged in my chest

below my throat, above my heart

i'm quite certain it's stuck in stress

that's in my blood, my blue-blood veins

dripping down me

dripping up me

everything it drips right through me

 

i cannot cry

© 2008 rachel D


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I can completely understand this. I love your description. I was uncertain what you were talking about until the last line. And it made the poem all the more enjoyable to get to the end and have an "ah ha!" moment.

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Well, I really liked this, but I have one thing....

There could have been more! :) I would have continued to read this, and I felt like you wanted to write more but it just wouldn't come. Could be wrong, but I think you could expand on this, and it would be as good or even better than some of your other stuff.

On the other hand, the abruptness of this almost suggests that you are fightiing NOT to cry but you break down and have to stop writing/speaking because you are so devastated by this wrecking emotion. So, maybe you DON'T need to expand. Either way, good stuff!

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

oh, rach.
i hate that feeling. i hate it so much and you portray it so well you almost evoke it in me.

i'll be lookin' for a way to cure it...
but until then,
here's lookin at you, kid.
xxK

Posted 17 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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540 Views
13 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on February 9, 2008

Author

rachel D
rachel D

"every wave is tidal, if you hang around, you're going to get wet", FL



About
I am 28 years old- born and raised in the suburbs of detroit, Mi. i have a serious obsession with music- it runs in my blood. that said, you will always hear a song playing when you read somethin.. more..

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