PUSHER, PUSH HER

skirt-suits, makeup face, lipstick paint, perfectly applied eyeliner,
white teeth, high heels, sculpted calves, blouses.
a company car-
an SUV with seats that fold down to make a spacious trunk
to fit pamphlets and cardboard-boxed samples
in foil-push-out-wrappers.
she's always such a pleasant doler-outer
parading around behind the reception desk
waving candy high above our heads
batting lashes at the male doctors
surface questions, plastic smiles, zombie eyes sparkle
in my nose and in my mouth
i taste her perfume.

 

patients keep shuffling in
reporting appointment times to women in rose-colored scrubs
women who keep shuffling papers
medical history, patient background information
shuffle shuffle shuffle.
healthcare policy number or lack-there-of
mostly the latter.

 

it's what makes her feel like a superhero-
helping the classes get the masses
of poison. for free.
but wait, that's not proper to call it so.
a tiny purple pill?
a white bouncing ball of joy?
yes yes, that sounds much better
much safer.

 

her heels keep clicking back there
on the cold, white n' sterile flooring
her bubbliness is making my stomache turn over
flip flop. flip flop.

 

just get into your car
just let us get our daily dose.
just let your floral scent
keep trying to mask the cyanide you left in your wake.

 

i'm thinking:
it would be funny
if on her way out to the car she tripped
on the freshly poured concrete
got a run in her pantyhose-
possibly broke the skin on her knee even
a bit of blood?
i wonder:
would she feel discontent and sad? a little blue?
would she dive into her stash?
but that damn commercial just keeps running through her head
 "side effects may include: headache, nausea, vommiting, diarrhea, insomnia,
dizziness, heart complications, liver problems,....
 people with such-and-such should not use, if you are pregnant, breast-feeding,..... blah blah

blah......"

 

on second thought.......
she'll just stick to soapy water and a band-aid.

Reviews

[Jaclyn]

Hrm...I think the pharmaceutical reps ARE evil sometimes....even though many meds seem to help, it seems as though there is a pill for even the most ridiculous diseases. It reminds me of that song by Lazyboy...I believe it is called "Underwear Goes on the Inside".

"I can't turn on the TV without thinking I have five serious diseases, like 'do you ever wake up tired in the morning?' Oh my god, I have this disease. Whatever this is, write it down, I have this disease....half the time I don't even know what they're talking about...there's people running towards each other through the fields....that is the greatest disease ever! How do I get that disease? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy."

I thought this was excellent. It wasn't in a true poem fashion exactly, but you've captured so much in your words...the shuffling papers, the plasticky perfection of the rep, the churning and flipping of your stomach when you see them....and I loved the ending, with the hypocritical rep deciding to use soap and water and a band-aid instead of the crap she's selling. Twisted genius. You done good, Rach.

[RAWR!]

haha i love this.
i _should_ be on meds too, but i am a bad crazy person, so i dont take mine.
this was so funny it made me spill out some coffee on me knee.

[Brette Medb]

It's amazing how true this is though... they pass out meds like it's the only thing that can help anyone anymore not even thinking that people have it made it through life long before us without pills to do this and then to counteract a side-effect of that... I really liked the ending it made me laugh that the nurse herself would never take one of the pills for fear and knowledge of what could happen... great write.


Brette

[PoemRodent]

ahhhh yes the clinical morticians of medication solutions being granted with those who her tiny voices or see flash images or worse know the doctors name and drivers license number without asking. Here take a pill, maybe a shot something to block the the mental state oops that didn't work lets add more...

Time for electric shock...

Good write and rant...

Thanks I needed this.. shot! :D

[Tara]

Hi Rachel...I loved this one...as i do most of your work....It was irritating in a good way..lol...brought up a lot of feelings about the whole money hungry medical system we have in America. The perfume masking the cyanide was a great line...good imagery too...i definitely have a picture of her and the office in mind and you sitting in the waiting room devising this poem in your head...

[Haden]

you're absolutely right. i used to relay calls for this deaf drug rep. she was always making conference calls. her and her crony pushers would pour over the latest stats and the best way to market to kids, parents, seniors. it was disgusting. it's why dr's don't support homeopathic options and why many people lose hope. even if you live ... who can pay the bills?! i loved this piece, very refreshing!

[~ Tex]

As a purveyor or fine pharmaceuticals everywhere, I am appalled at your rant, have taken it most personally to heart and am impaling myself upon a roadside curb right this moment so I can have excuse to dive into my Pfizer-GSC-yada-yada-yada bags and boxes of Halloween-Christmas-Year-'round goodies for children of all ages Birth to Retirement to Tube Feeding!

Furthermore, I'm helping you by having your medications removed from your market... everyone else can have them except you. You'll have to find the peppy little perfume girl and get her to gather some goodies for you.

That is your punishment.

Ok, I don't rep the Rx, but I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who do. Comes with having spent a lot of time in medicine.

So, since I hate doctors and drugs, I laughed my Southern-Fried White A*s off!!!!

It was a really nice rant and I am pretty sure I could walk into every office in America and know when I was in yours! Very detailed description.

Hysterical.

I don't know. That was a long, potentially not-so-politically-correct rant. Are you sure that's not a side effect of the meds?

Use that for your defense if some drug rep sends their lawyer after ya! LOL

I was about to call it quits when your piece went up and I just had to read it.

DAMN YOU! NOW I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD TO SLEEP!

CRAP!! HEY, PSSSST.... CAN A BROTHA GET AN AMBIEN OVER HERE?!?!?!?

LMAO

(Yeah, who's smiling now! LMAO)

Oh yeah, this was a really nice piece of work and I think I'm going to send it to all my M.D./D.O. buddies!

[CarrieLynn {Chameleon A..]

great write! :)

[Dezaraye]

This made me laugh, not sure if you intended it that way or not. It'd be interesting to really know how she feels about her job. I agree with you, drugs are handed out like candy these days. When I went to the ER for a foot injury in February, the doctor wrote me a prescription for Lortab. Honestly, the pain probably was bad enough, but I thought it was a little strong. They prescribe it for my sister for almost every injury she's ever received. Broken fingers, sprained ankles. (Can you tell we're a family of clutzes? I've personally been on crutches 13 times and my sister probably 7 or 8. Trying to explain why BOTH of us were in the ER at the same time at one point made me want to laugh.)

Anyway, random thoughts. I liked your rant, I think it's well done and so true.