FIRST FORTRESS

for a friend i had, for the friend i have

when i was 12
i unfolded my heart, unfolded myself
and let him walk right on in.

 

when we were 12, we made a fortress
it was a fortress FULL
of notes written during class
 shoved through the vents of our lockers
  or passed between the palms of our hands between class
of marathon phone conversations
 sometimes saying nothing at all
  our hushed breath was linking.
   he clicked his tongue to fill the gaps
    and i loved him for it.
     for making even our silence comfortable.

 

when all those girls were swinging knives,
  like girls like to do,
   at each other's backs
    he was shielding mine from stabbings
      again
        i loved him for it.

 

when we stood in hallways,
 hallways much too small to hold what we were building
  he'd clutch my hand.
   our fingers laced so tight
    where i began he finished.
      i squeezed back
       an unspoken way to say i love you for this.

 

for the first time in my little anxiety-ridden life
 i felt safe.
  felt unbreakable.
    like he was so much mine
      like i was so much his.

 

and i will never forget:
 how my heartbeats flooded then deafened my ears
  the first time we kissed.
   in the back hallway behind the gym.
    *your arms wrapped me up
       and into them i sank
     your mouth so warm
      your tongue like liquid silk
        drippping down the back of my throat
          filling all of the holes inside of me.*

 

we were only kids.
 kids capable of saving each other
  from the torment that growing up causes.
   kids capable of loving like most kids cannot when they are 12.
because we were cut,
 cut,
   cut,
     cut,
  cut from the same cloth.

Reviews

[shel]

it was a fortress FULL
of notes written during class
shoved through the vents of our lockers
or passed between the palms of our hands between class

when we stood in hallways,
hallways much too small to hold what we were building

i love the intimacy in this one, the small moments. and that last part-- cut, cut, cut...as if you're speaking of that 'torment', which, in a way, you are...makes me think of your 'too heavy to hold' piece.

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem tells a kind and sweet story. I like the detail and the story of friendship and youth. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Ocean Orchid]

Very Well Written ...

[Lyrical Love]

What an incredibly well written piece. I love the
message in this music!

[Lloyd Lofthouse]

A great unfolding of love and romance and the safety and fortress one can build from this experience. Reminds me of the aunt and uncle that raised my dad--married seventy-five years before the uncle died. I wrote a poem about them called: 'Always Remembered'.

[J.P. Bristow]

FABULOUS.......I normally don't like anything but instrumental music with a piece with depth such as this......but it was so right....so fitting....well done!

[Maya]

this is beautiful

[Lori]

You have such wonderful instincts as a writer, and seem to know when to let the images stand on their own and when to give some interpretation. I like the suddenness of the repetion of "cut". It gave such emphasis, but also sort of held onto this notion of the tension that runs through the poem. It's the poet and friend against the world, and it's the junior high world filled with violence -- not so much physical, but a mental torment that you show so well with the "swinging knife", which connects later to the kiss that "filling all of the holdes inside..." That works really well, because we think of the metaphorical knives that caused all of these holes.

[In a self imposed rehab..]

Interesting piece. Depicts vivid images, and makes me yearn for second chances.

[AK]

This reminds me so much of the girlfriend I so desperately wanted... but never found. Oh I met her, several times. Connie, Allison, Kris... but they always had older boyfriends. Less caring, but older.
That was a lifetime ago... and it was yesterday. Some things you just never forget.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you found him.

[Greg Metcalf]

All the talk about swinging knives and his shielding her, I felt very afraid that this would have a tragic ending. Then the cut, cut, cut, at the end "from the same cloth" gave me such relief that it had me in an excellent place for this moving ending. I like the song, too. Same guy who did "Sweet Misery" from Good Will Hunting?