FALL TO RISE

in the back of my mind.
on the back of my hand.
in the back of everything,
in the back of everyone,
is the pull of severity.
the pull that leaves one breathless.
how a finger can trace it's way along the curve of one's spine
or
how the plunge of an index can dig it's way deep into one's breastbone

 

in the back of your mind.
written on the back of your hand.
is the pull of guilt,
the branding of shame.
the churning of a mistake,
the scars of embarassment.

 

the pull,
and the push,
and the hope for the fall,
into something worthy of all of this.
into something
completely weightless.

Reviews

[Ryan Otto]

Beautiful. Carries a lot of weight, emotionally, without being too obvious about things.

[RAWR!]

"how a finger can trace it's way along the curve of one's spine"


*pRrrrrr*
that made me shiver abit.
crystal clear pictures.

[Jaclyn]

I don't know why, but this made me feel kind of sickened. Not in an "I hate this poem" kind of way, but it had a way of kicking me in the gut, getting me a little twitchy and chokey (is that a word?). Good job! How discordant is that? Hehehe...I love reading your stuff because it always gets me to feel quite strongly in some way or another. I'm never just like, well that was nice or well that sucked. I always have a strong REACTION.

[rachel D]

in response to Brette Medb:
yes, guilt IS the heaviest thing of all but the title is fall to RISE, and one of the points, which is certainly well hidden, is the beauty in falling to the right place, to the right one so that guilt can be lifted, so that in the end, you will RISE. and the guilt will be no more.

[Brette Medb]

I liked how you dont begin telling a story but you evolve into it... and it's true there is guilt written all over everything and everyone always there, always waiting to rear its ugly head.. although there was one thing, you say in the last line that it's weightless, isn't guilt the heaviest thing of all? Just a thought.. great write.


B.

[Tara]

awesome write, my friend...I just love your style..I love the repetition in the opening...I love how the brevity intrigued me and made me want to know more..the pull of severity....and then how you bring in the push/pull....this is life...it spoke to me of obligations and desire, guilt and shame, love and lust...great job.

[David Peters]

Ist thist about A friend or you? Well its' good I like the sway in powers. So you wrote my Anti- poem maybe

[~ Tex]

Well RD, I liked the song as it set the mood while I read this piece. Not that it needed any help, but sometimes music is the tool that tweaks the human mind and heart and prepositions them where the true message can be heard and work its magic. Sometimes, with so many distractions in today's world, a subliminal message to set things up becomes necessary. The music, not the lyrics, set the mood and allowed me to immediately "hear" your words as I read them.

That allowed me to feel them even more so than I might have.

I loved the poem and it triggers thoughts and memories in my mind that perhaps should be let free.

Definitely, one of my Favs... as is your photography. I love B&W and I sense that your camera work is as amazing as your poetry. I look forward to reading and seeing much more.

~Tex

[Kiri J]

in the back of your mind.
written on the back of your hand.
is the pull of guilt,
the branding of shame.
the churning of a mistake,
the scars of embarassment.

I love it (surprise?). Kind of resonates an Imogen Heap feel.

xxK

[rachel D]

by the first two comments i can already tell this one's gonna be full of different interpretations. i'm not gonna get into what this really means to me at this point. maybe later? but for now, take from it what you will.