FALL TO RISE

in the back of my mind.
on the back of my hand.
in the back of everything,
in the back of everyone,
is the pull of severity.
the pull that leaves one breathless.
how a finger can trace it's way along the curve of one's spine
or
how the plunge of an index can dig it's way deep into one's breastbone

 

in the back of your mind.
written on the back of your hand.
is the pull of guilt,
the branding of shame.
the churning of a mistake,
the scars of embarassment.

 

the pull,
and the push,
and the hope for the fall,
into something worthy of all of this.
into something
completely weightless.

Reviews

[Kaden Sylvers]

beautiful. has an extremely strong message.

[LethalDoseOfReality]

This is eye catching,so simple but it can mean so much,good job.

[Jack of Aces]

cool stuff :)
I have been checking my own work and found a lot of this ..( the x "of" y )
the pull of guilt... which you might consider simpler forms .. guilt pulling, guilt pulls ..etc
i noticed a lot of that in my own work ...wordy and uncessary in my fiction ..
you can use it in poetry i guess..i not sure ..
but if you changed all that stanza and took out the "of" relationships and made them into active verbs ...you might be surprised and like it...i mean just as an experiment for yourself :)
otherwise i really like this mysterious little bit :)

[Paul McCracken]

I'm a pretty crappy reviewer... that said, I liked this.

[__Flaw__]

Yeah, i have the same resonance as Brette down there.....kinda.

But yeah...a great effort nonetheless...u read it once, and then again...and again...and images start to picture in you head...there where u left a mark on your soul.

Carry on :))))))

[Nana Carmine]

wow. I like it. The song fits it- I really enjoyed it. Great job- and the song made it better.

[TL Boehm]

this is an excellent write. the connection between what is seen and what is in your head...comes to the surface so well in this work.
Wonderful, and yes - gives me that shudder too.

[Bubo]

something weightless where we have no need to think or feel...........very thought provoking piece

[desertraven]

thought provoking piece. interesting
Sandra :D

[Laura Sparkle]

O.o Me likey!!!!!!!!! So strong and vibrant... very powerful and deep!