A Segmented Mind

Two Minds are as one, but they are not. They love and they hate antithetically, and the live and they lust. One is a beast, but the other? No, the other is something more.

A Segmented Mind

Sure as the crow might caw!, I do have a segmented Mind.

A life resides inside of another life's head, two existences living inside of one another.

I awaken to a warm bed. I feel comfortable, but I know I can remain but a short time.

For I hate the comfort.

I must leave the pleasant bedroom, for I have come to love it and therefore have come to hate it.

Entering the kitchen, I fast scent the beautiful roses. I love the roses.

I hate the roses.

I love them.

I walk outside through a flap in the main entrance, into the beautiful sunlight.

I hate the sunlight.

I love it.

When I stray far from my home, a peninsula within the mouth of a forest is to greet me. I fear the darkness beyond the trees.

I love the darkness, what fear it inspires.

I fear the fear.

I love the fear.

I fear to love, for I must then hate.

He is not me, I say. He is not, but he is me. He lives in my Mind, does he, and my Mind says that he is me. Yet, I deny those words. He is not me.

I deny those words as I move to the woods, because he says I should. I have no control, for he possesses the Body and I am but a simple figment. I vie for command of this vessel, but I never succeed.

He is an animal, and it is his joy to enter these woods. His quadrupedal form should be mine, but it is not. He barks, pants, barks again at the smaller creatures running to-and-fro to escape his presence. His lacking intellect will not allow for him to do what I might do, but I would not harm the squirrel or the bird; I am not that way.

His stupidity and aggression do not allow for him to simply leave them be, as he wanders further and further into the darkness, expanding the distance between himself and the home that is his bearing. His Master, and my Master by relation, will become furious when he must come to retrieve myself and this beastly thing. The animal will become lost, and it will be I who is subject to be punished.

He is a mongrel, an animal that cannot care. His Mind is weak, and he deserves not this vessel in which he resides.

I will command this vessel, I decide, as he bounds throughout these thick forested paths.

His weak mental state allows him the barest knowledge, to follow a passage carved into the woods, and yet he uses it to collect sticks and rocks like a simpleton.

And I still stand, resolved, to command his Body. One day, I will be, and he will not be.

One day I conclude, as he yips and slobbers and whines for Master to collect him, that I will become the Master.

You would not like me that day, I warn him. You should not let me out.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading!

Reviews

[RAOrourke]

I deny those words as I move to the woods, because he says I should. I have no control, for he possesses the Body and I am but a simple figment. I vie for command of this vessel, but I never succeed...Wonderful poem. Shows the constant battle for this person. To live in one's mind and battle his demons. Well worded and paced. The message is profound as the reader feels the pull between the two! Well done!

[Steph]

Wow! This is really impressive. It's so intense and it really portrays the seriousness of mental illness. It all flowed really well, making it very easy to read.
My favorite line is probably "I fear the fear. // I love the fear. // I fear to love, for I must then hate."

[lorennn]

This is just a great story! Just reading it I can tell you put a lot of detail and thought into it, and I love that! Good job!

[cejordi84]

F****n gnarly bro. When did you write this?

[S]

I have this curse too. Of contrasting selves. Sometimes it's beautiful. Sometimes it's devastatingly beautiful. It empowers and weakens you at the same time. Such good writing :))

[Angad Waraich]

"He is not me, I say. He is not, but he is me. He lives in my Mind, does he, and my Mind says that he is me. Yet, I deny those words. He is not me."
Shows the beautiful struggle of a man trying to battle his inner demons.
I loved this piece.
One my favourites at WC.
Thank you for sharing.

[Rene Salinas]

I read a book "The splintered mind" was the title I can't remember much about the Author which is a pity but some of the behavioural context in this writing is similar. Without going into the world of Pathology which is by en large greatly missunderstood as I remember doing the test for Autism and been pretty high up on the spectrum and well I am still not sure that it has incapacitated me from anything. So That aside. I like the intensity, The fact that you feel a presence, the fact that life is full of despair,dismay and other very very intricate challenges and yet continue everyday trying to command as you say. The volatility of the question who and where am I? Surely a life full of complexities and challenges.

Thankyou

[Sami Khalil]

"His weak mental state allows him the barest knowledge, to follow a passage carved into the woods, and yet he uses it to collect sticks and rocks like a simpleton.

And I still stand, resolved, to command"

[Sami Khalil]

Some good lines to quote in this considerable poem...Bravo...............

[Mia Sparrow]

i don't focus on spelling or incocuous details because those can always be corrected after visiting it again. this really illustrates the complexity and seriousness of mental illness without concern for the stigma it incurs. it demonstrates the duality that exists within the person's psyche and the torment. the narrator's astute awareness of the other self and its will over his Body is remarkable. his familiarity with the animalistic and primal forces of his nemesis self are made clear by the conflict between the two. that's impressive. it's like the forces of good and evil battling it out for his soul. his determination and resolve for defeating this animal are admirable. these verses also makes us privy to his torment in its first person narration. i like this. 100/100