A Segmented Mind

Two Minds are as one, but they are not. They love and they hate antithetically, and the live and they lust. One is a beast, but the other? No, the other is something more.

A Segmented Mind

Sure as the crow might caw!, I do have a segmented Mind.

A life resides inside of another life's head, two existences living inside of one another.

I awaken to a warm bed. I feel comfortable, but I know I can remain but a short time.

For I hate the comfort.

I must leave the pleasant bedroom, for I have come to love it and therefore have come to hate it.

Entering the kitchen, I fast scent the beautiful roses. I love the roses.

I hate the roses.

I love them.

I walk outside through a flap in the main entrance, into the beautiful sunlight.

I hate the sunlight.

I love it.

When I stray far from my home, a peninsula within the mouth of a forest is to greet me. I fear the darkness beyond the trees.

I love the darkness, what fear it inspires.

I fear the fear.

I love the fear.

I fear to love, for I must then hate.

He is not me, I say. He is not, but he is me. He lives in my Mind, does he, and my Mind says that he is me. Yet, I deny those words. He is not me.

I deny those words as I move to the woods, because he says I should. I have no control, for he possesses the Body and I am but a simple figment. I vie for command of this vessel, but I never succeed.

He is an animal, and it is his joy to enter these woods. His quadrupedal form should be mine, but it is not. He barks, pants, barks again at the smaller creatures running to-and-fro to escape his presence. His lacking intellect will not allow for him to do what I might do, but I would not harm the squirrel or the bird; I am not that way.

His stupidity and aggression do not allow for him to simply leave them be, as he wanders further and further into the darkness, expanding the distance between himself and the home that is his bearing. His Master, and my Master by relation, will become furious when he must come to retrieve myself and this beastly thing. The animal will become lost, and it will be I who is subject to be punished.

He is a mongrel, an animal that cannot care. His Mind is weak, and he deserves not this vessel in which he resides.

I will command this vessel, I decide, as he bounds throughout these thick forested paths.

His weak mental state allows him the barest knowledge, to follow a passage carved into the woods, and yet he uses it to collect sticks and rocks like a simpleton.

And I still stand, resolved, to command his Body. One day, I will be, and he will not be.

One day I conclude, as he yips and slobbers and whines for Master to collect him, that I will become the Master.

You would not like me that day, I warn him. You should not let me out.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading!

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

As this was posted some time back, perhaps you're content with the way it's written. It's very effective, I'd say, and presents the difficulties of the condition quite well.

[Archia]

How interesting, I really liked seeing the struggle and I loved this line "I fear to love, for I must then hate." because it really showed that battle and the pain of it and also their awareness of it. I think what I liked most was how aware they were of it all because it made them seem vulnerable.

[Michael Keyes]

This is incredible. The loves, hatreds and fears tangle like spaghetti. It felt frustrating to untangle them; I can only imagine how much more complex the problem is for the narrator.

I read over some of the earlier reviews and your own comments on this piece. It helped to clarify greatly. I felt a great resentment and ambition from the consciousness. It was a truly enticing piece.

One abstract thought it gave me; I began to think of the consciousness as perhaps a virus, like certain contagions that begin in animals before they pass to humans. It was the line, "You would not like me that day...you should not let me out", that encouraged that thought.

Despite wanting to know what happened after this flow of consciousness, its briefness and ending work hauntingly well. A great stand-alone piece.

[S. D. Forogar]

Thank you very much for this! I'm quite pleased that you liked it!

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I feel the comparison between the ego and the id. The higher intellect and the instincts. The soul and the body. You capture the struggle well. (I hate. I love.) is a bit redundant, within this short text. Perhaps mix it up a little with, (When will there be agreement?)-(See my side, No you see mine.)-(Yes I do. No you don't) The two sides see themselves as individuals instead of both being,I) I was best friends with a person of dual persona for many tears. Until the day he realized I knew both of him. He could not cope with that, and I could not cope with causing him to fight within for dominance. The side that receives the most reward always has the upper hand. As a metaphor for dealing with the struggle between good and evil, or sense and nonsense, this piece is a bit too cloaked in dogma. Pardon my pun. As a study of dual persona it is a bit superficial. Perhaps this IS the conflict you are aiming at within the reader. It certainly made me reflect. I'm all over the map with this. I like this. No you don't. Yes I do. We agree, that we both like it for different reasons.

[S. D. Forogar]

Thank you for this review!

To clarify, this isn't an internal conflict; moreover, I'm quite surprised that so few actually understand where I was going with this one. Perhaps I was too vague, but I suppose it might be fun if I disclose what is going on here since I won't be revisiting this piece.

This is a mental monologue, by the "hidden" personality within this creature. It is confusing itself, as it is so lacking in power that it cannot even discern its own self. It feels that it is being consumed by the creature inside of which it resides, and it comes to neglect the force of will its host is employing against it. In other words, despite its crumbling consciousness, it is determined to seize control of its host. However, as its host and it are mentally detached, this "hidden" personality remains completely cloaked against the consciousness of its host. This is how it remains of itself, and yet speaks in a riddling manner all the same.

So, the "I" is simply one confused consciousness, which cannot discern even itself.

I do thank you for pointing this vagueness out to me though, and am always glad for your reviews!

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I also considered; because of the references to the host being animalistic that the other might be a parasite such as a flea or tick. Another possibility was that for the fallen angels inhabiting animal bodies on earth before the dawn of man.

[Polymath Chameleon]

This was so smartly written, I can't even

[S. D. Forogar]

Thank you very much!

[judith106]

I love this.. I thought it was intense.. I was a little thrown off by the switch from the " I " reference to " he " Like I said I love this

[S. D. Forogar]

Thank you very much!

[imstone14]

Oh the conflict! Gotta love it.

[S. D. Forogar]

Thank you for your review!

[Delmar Cooper]

I began by taking everything at face value. The narrator says he's schizophrenic so I buy a ticket. No so fast reader! Maybe it's lie. Maybe it's possession, a real life, call 911 for the exorcist posession. Fool me once, etc. But what is possessing whom? Or, who posesses what? I'm taking the safe path, calling the whole thing a dichotomy and queing up for the Magic Mountain ride. Wait time from this point 15 minutes.

[S. D. Forogar]

Haha! An enthusiastic review if I'd ever seen one!

I think it's safe to assume that the narrator, simply, IS schizophrenic, and yet it truly COULD be any number of things. The condition developed as I wrote it, until such a time as it displays symptoms of several mental illnesses. That poor individual - er, those poor individuals?

ANYWAY, thank you for the review haha!

[Ryan Henderson]

I like this piece, I feel that it truly shows the conflicting interests and the conflicting conciousnesses of the narrator. I think that the detail is good, and the flow of the story is good, I really don't have much critique for the piece at all. Thank you for sharing!

[S. D. Forogar]

And thank you for reviewing!

[Confuser]

I think I like it! Oh I think I do. It would be nice to have a life 2 lives apportioned to each human - not in the same mind. I can see the fear and anger. Very nice.