Christmas, No Red Suit Required!

I hate santa clause.
With this story, I take pause.
Around the world in one night,
One slay, Eight reindeer, one big bag.
Really, I'm supposed to believe this?
Please, the post office can't even do that.

he knows if you've been naughty or nice.
How, did somebody tip him off,
or has he been spying on children?
Oh wait, he has elves to do that.
Sliding down the chimney with a wink and a nod
If I did that it would be breaking and entering
But it's okay for him to do it,
he leaves presents.

Of course if you're naughty
you get coal.
Children that misbehave don't deserve a second chance
and surely they weren't rotten all year, were they?
So why is it okay to lie to out children?
Why is it okay to get their hopes up
only to have them dashed when the realize the truth?


Well I for one will not.
I will not lie to my little girl.
I will not continue to think it okay to lie to my child
After all, I really want to teach her that it is okay to lie.
Since when?
Sorry folks, but santa clause is not the reason for Christmas,
but we celebrate a fat man in a red suit.
We celebrate being obese, how absurd is that?
If he is so magical then he should be skinny.
Maybe he can lay his nose on his tummy
give a wink and a nod and
Poof and a cloud of soot, the tummy becomes a six pack.

Why must we perpetuate a lie?
Why must we continue to make our children cry?
Why must I be made to say Happy Holidays?
MERRY CHRISTMAS...! Oops, that was politically incorrect.
My Bad, didn't know I had to celebrate holidays that aren't mine.
What the hell is Kwanza?
I'm not Jewish, why should I celebrate Hanukkah?
Did I miss some other "obscure" holiday?
If I did, to bad, I celebrate Christmas.

I hate santa clause.
And I REFUSE to perpetuate the lie.

Author's Note

Before I am condemned for speaking my mind, in a country that give me the right to do so, let me first say, that I have no problem at all with people who believe in santa clause and I'm not trying to tell anyone how to raise their children.

I have no problem with Kwanza or Hanukkah and If I were invited to celebrate either I would happily attend and join in the celebration.
Happy Kwanza
Happy Hanukkah
and Merry Christmas

Cause I believe in God and I celebrate Jesus...!

Reviews

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Now, wait a minute; the Jewish population believe in God, but refuse to accept that He could have created a Son to deliver His messages to the world.

I think you have to get a tan and kink your hair to celebrate Kwanza, because it is a "new wave" african ritual.

I think the best hope for christianity, came from Buddist ladies of India that I spoke with, recently. They were in a store checking out the plastic christmas trees and curiousity killed the Christina.

When I asked would they be celebrating Christmas (Jesus' birthday,) I got an answer that floored me. Yes, they said. They would arise to a decorated tree, with presents beneath it. They would have a feast for breakfast. Next, they would gather, as a family, before a worship place where gifts of fresh fruit would be placed and chant to receive inner peace and harmony. Then, they would gather close to the christmas tree and tell the story of the birth of a great man, whom believed by dying he could save the world. Then, one by one (no frenzy, like Americans do, often) they would open gifts that they had "made" for each other and say "thank you."

Now, I know that numerous christian children will have their annual visit to church or bi-annual, if they go for Easter, but I was impressed with these foreign ladies respect for Christmas.

I guess you don't have to be a christian to respect that someone, once, died hoping to save the world. Now, how awesome is that?!

[realmwriter]

Thank you for relating that story to me. It is the reason for writing such an emotionally and politically charged piece. And Yes, That is awesome.

[Rowan Storm]

I still love the satire. It's quite enjoyable. But kinda true, haha.

[Susie Q]

I believe it is very sad if someone is condemed for speaking their mind. Everyone has different thoughts and have the right to express them. Thank you for reminding all of us of the reason for the season. God Bless you and those you hold close in your heart!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Refreshing piece. A different take on theme of "the reason for the season".

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Bravo for this poem! When I was growing up my Mom let me believe in Santa which I did foolishly, but I was a kid caught up in the magic. BUT she also taught me that Jesus is the reason for the season, and that he we celebrate on Christmas and not only Christmas but all year around! Great poem!

[joshua deathdealer]

I like your outtake. I'v never been a fan of the fat red lie either. Merry Christmas to you as well. "If he is so magical then he should be skinny."..xx

[*[_Natasha_]*]

i dont think there is anything wrong with letting kids believe in santa. it doesnt hurt them or anything. but i for one, though my son believes in santa i make sure he knows the true reason, which is celebrating the birth of Jesus-we make this the bigger part of our christmas celebration. anyway all that said, this was a good write (: as always.
p.s. Merry Christmas!

[realmwriter]

Remember now an days it's freedom to speak, not freedom unlimited
(speech v.s. content) ;p
But no worries, don't forget you're in the presence of writers, I don't think anybody is going to swat you down here for personal beliefs without hearing out what you have to say.

Really, the poem here sounds more like an attempt to imitate those who refuse to believe in and celebrate Christmas for the mere basis of the thought of deceiving others such as people's own children... which by all means is a bit reasonable since it's a construction of a fictional existence within a realistic environment, plus not to mention the fact that most parents are highly over-sensitive when it comes to factors that affect their kids.
I get what you're saying though about the whole celebrating Jesus instead of Santa Clause aspect, but that's kinda a misconception you're celebrating, unless you're celebrating the entity rather than the representation of the Holiday... so in a paradox, you're essentially celebrating the same very thing you refuse to celebrate (lies), odd coincidence isn't it? (explained more in 5th paragraph)
Btw, there is actual representation of Saint Nick as being older than Christianity... :/ so kinda more factual to believe in the celebration of Saint Nick than the actual date of birth of Jesus Christ..
There is a few grammatical errors too I must mention in lite of constructive critiques, such as "sleigh" instead of "slay". It's pretty much solid everywhere else though ^_^

Anyways, personally I'm more of a Buddhist than anything else, but am a student of multiple religions (not so much for the individual branches)... actually was born into the Catholic branch of Christianity so I know what it feels like to be a Christian too.
Really, I find the center of interest here to be more of a political one than an based on an idea. The political thing I'm referring to is the Christian nation's mass hysteria about the "War on Christmas". Not saying there's way more important things to worry about in the world and surely not saying it's a false accusation, but do of course find it to be an overreaction to what is happening within the topic in discussion here.... that's just personal belief though.

Not only am I pretty religious, but I am dam pretty political too :p
So really when it comes to questioning the separation of church and state, I'm all for it. There's a big argument though about how founding fathers were Christian therefore the nation should be Christian-based, though I think that's pretty much a cop-out in reasoning... the reason I say this is because I side more so with the Religious Freedom aspect of the founding fathers, therefore government should not be involved when it comes to a promotion of religion or even having ties to it other than having an affect on politician's personal conscience.
The reason the founding fathers came to and established America as a separation from Europe was to escape the tyranny and persecution, I truly don't believe a nation based on a single totalitarian existence is what they had in mind.

Also, Christmas only celebrates the birth of Jesus in theory, really it's more actually a Pagan holiday celebration than a Christian one. Christianity just adopted it.
Throughout my studies of Christianity, I personally concluded that it's a system of narratives based upon the teachings of the man known as Jesus which was collected and documented by his disciples to form what we know of today as the bible (with of course misguidedness and misconceptions)... after all, humanity isn't machine and humanity wrote the bible, this much we do know.
Anyways, the point is that I coming to, to shorten things up, even though I may not be a Christian or am a devotee towards the religious structure, I still can obtain the sentiment through the holiday celebration, therefore that is all that counts.
Religion, I personally believe, is more of a system based on moral structure, ethics, and teaching one how one should live to accordance to bringing about prosperity and a sense of "good" within one's own life. Not factual representation in other words. So to criticize of others in what they believe in or to pressure an answer from them in questioning the knowledge of certain aspects of one's own religion only represents a form of ignorance and discrimination.

Although, coming along with my more so indepth political response, I believe the celebration of Christmas to be more of an economic stimulus than anything else now-an-days. The reason why every retailer advertises it and governments celebrate it. Same thing for Halloween, Black Friday, Easter, and 4th of July. So really the celebration of Christmas has become even more corrupted in recent times than any else.

As for censoring the phrase "Merry Christmas", really it's only the government that has started to be deferred from representing any certain religion, which as stated before about separation of Church and State, I actually approve of.
As for when it comes to corporate advertisements of Christmas and the spread of what you see now as "Happy Holidays", that all in part because of protest movements and most corporation being spineless as they are. Once you hit their pocketbooks, then they start beginning true "customer service". (in the "fan-service" sense of the phrase)


So basically this whole discussion comes down to the "Separation of Church from America" in actuality. And lemme just notify you of a problem seething within America through the wings of Capitalism and Corporate structure... Money is the going rate for freedom... Money is Speech.
That's something I would rather not believe, but have to face in the cold grips of reality everyday.

98/100... this piece really got me going :p


and P.s. as a response to a previous comment posted... I would rather not think of it as respecting someone "trying to save the world", but rather respecting someone "trying to instill goodness into the hearts of humanity".
One does not have to be Christian in order to respect Christian ethics and morals.

[realmwriter]

This my very long winded friend, is the kind of review that I treasure the most. This is the kind of critique that improves my abilities as a writer and keeps me informed of what my readers would like to read. This review alone gives me many points to ponder and ponder them I will. It also gives me further inspiration on a more political front. Thank you so very much for this, it is much appreciated.

[Joshua]

It's refreshing to know that not everyone supports telling horrendous lies to children.

Cue the top five scientific reasons why Santa Claus can't possibly exist and why even if he did, he would have died a very unpleasant death:
http://www.angelfire.com/crazy2/coolsite0/humor/santa.html