Insesantly Helping

 

What is this, this incessant need to help?
Why must I help everyone whose path I cross?
Be it emotional or physical, monetarily or otherwise.

I have to help but want none when I need it.
I can handle whatever baggage is placed upon my shoulders,
but I cannot seems to handle my own
and i'm being crushed under the wait.

What is this paradox that I'm in?
How do I stop this ride from spinning so fast?
Its making me sick but I don't want to get off.
How is it that I can handle everyones burdens?

I can help you, If you'll let me.
I'll carry that for you if you'd like me too.
I'll walk that line if you need it.
I can be that person for you. I can whatever you need me to be
I can  handle it cause I have to, cause I want to, cause I need to.

I wish I knew why I don't want anyone to help me
I just know I feel free of the emotions that seem to plague others.
So I guess I need to feel them through everyone else.

Love, Joy, Pain, Hate. I feel these
Sadness, Misery, Suffering. I feel these
Kindness, Caring, Empathy. I feel these
Hope, Passion, Trust. I feel these

I feel emotion I am just not controlled by them,
I rule them not they rule me.
I can not not help someone but I don't want help when I need it.

Oct 20, 2010

Author's Note

Feel free to critique this piece: grammar, spelling, all of it.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This is an absolute truism of those of us who are of the co-dependent overly helpful variety. I will give you a simple, less personal example: at a meeting recently for a volunteer organization. Every single one of us are full time moms or dads who work, some of us single. One woman pipes up and says "we need some parents who aren't busy during the day to help with counting." I say simply "that won't happen." Volunteers are always the busiest among us. The people who aren't busy stay home. Fact. Sad, but true. I have a poem that is about this I wrote some time ago. If I find it I will send you the link. Thanks for the wonderful truthful words. P.S. Incessant is spelled right in the poem but differently in the title
little grammar things:
seem, not seems, and weight, not wait; everyone's; I can be whatever; I rule them, not they rule me

[realmwriter]

Thank you for pointing those out. This is one of my older pieces when I was choosing to ignore most if not all grammar. The spelling though, well I'll fix al of these issues. I am different now. And still I must help. Thank you so much for reading this. I am very happy that you liked it.

[Lyn Anderson]

It is a great piece.

[Briana O'Connor]

Helping others is always easier than helping ourselves. Gosh that is just such a weird aspect of life! I love the point you expressed here. It was crystal clear that the narrator was okay with not being okay, but wanted everyone else to be more than okay. Such a true part of life. Thank you for sharing.

[realmwriter]

I can handle just about any problem that anyone throws my way and If I know how, I will help them should they ask. But I abhor having to ask myself. Why does it seem the worlds baggage is so much lighter than my own? Thank you for the read and review. I am glad you liked this.