The Life Of Obstacles Part I

This is the beginning of an on-going piece. It will complete itself one day.

Pages and pages of priceless words, carved in the memory of a long since grown woman.

 

Allow me to introduce myself, I am the life you do not want and the life you wish you never had. Starting simple, I’ll give you obstacle courses to complete. We will start with alcoholic beatings and deranged parental guidance. I will test you to your very end and taunt you until your chest feels close to caving. Stand in a hallway and be young for a moment. Take a moment to revert back to that reality, be a child. Feel the blunt force of your fragile head slamming into the wall as a powerful booming voice looms above you. Feel the fibers of the carpet on the side of your face mixing with the tears you cannot control while the follicles of your hair are ripped out one by one. Take note of the rug burns on your arms and legs as you are dragged down the never ending black tunnel of your very own home. You find yourself at the top of the stairs and in front of the kitchen now, anticipating the next move you are to endure. Remember to breathe, this might hurt a bit. Now is the time for the cold steel of a 9 mm pistol to be pressed against the soft flesh of your tiny temples. Laugh or cry, it is up to you, but keep in mind the finger on the trigger is impaired. Go ahead and struggle, any child would. Be careful of those stairs behind you. Inevitably, you will hear screams from other household members as you tumble head over heels down 7 steps and finish your obstacle course by the front door. Child, congratulations, you made it through it.

 

But, with a laugh I must remind you who I am. That was only the beginner’s course.

 

 Now, as a child, you must go to school and do your homework. Go ahead. But watch out for childish pranks you may pull. A “kick me” sign on the back of a bully or swift kick of a school mates sand castle will bring you to your next course. The anxiety you feel as the car pulls up to the school is nothing compared to the wrath that awaits you.  Feel the tight grasp on your fine hair as your head is jerked backwards. Taste the sand as it pours down the back of your throat choking off your air. The more you beg for air and water, the worse it will be so, relax, there is nothing you can do about it. What you can do is prepare yourself to do your homework. When this is over, all you will have is what you have learned.

 

Reviews

[Whispering Aspen]

Coming from a background of childhood abuse this was very hard for me to read. In fact, I did not realize until reaching the very last line that I was holding my breath the whole time. As an adult now, still very much haunted by my past (as are my siblings) I have struggled to be a mother afraid of what that will mean to my children. Funny I should read this today, because last night my son chose to stand off with my husband on bed time and when my husband came downstairs after finally getting him to bed he mentioned that it bothered him that our son laughs when he knows he's in trouble (like a nervous reaction) I bring that up because of this line: "Laugh or cry, it is up to you, but keep in mind the finger on the trigger is impaired. Go ahead and struggle, any child would". My brother used to laugh too (which ultimately caused further beatings) My initial thought when my husband said this, was that my son has no idea how good we are to him and how truly scary adults can be.

Your piece has awakened all kinds of thoughts for me. Hopefully for those who have never experienced such obstacles, they will read this and realize the struggle some of these children have just to reach adulthood. If any of this is about you, I'm so sorry, and I understand, if not, you did a good job of empathizing.