Not One Yet

Written a couple months ago.

Show me no reason
To forget
Cold hard man
That I am

Give me some sweetness
To remember who I am
Sweet soft man
That I am

I'm a mean ole look
What you need you think
I think I want to see

Not one yet
Can get me
There without
There's that
One yet

Some words should
Never been given
Voice to would
Never arisen
Form

Author's Note

Tell me what you really think...

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Unique with hidden meanings. Nice one, I like how you wrote this; it takes thinking to understand.

[Little Birdie]

I like this very much. But I tend to agree, some words deep inside us, some things burried deep, some feelings burning us inside should never arise to see the light of day. Wonderful write, keep them coming, I always like reading your work :)

[emmajoy]

Seems a little understanding is called for. Methinks this is a coded message - a guarded cry for help, calling to be seen but making the search harder than it need be. In a way your mesh of words is quite a tease .. maybe intended but, intriguing.

[screamin'ian]

I can give you some aid, MsMermaid. This is an attempt to describe an indescribable set of thoughts and emotions arising from loving a girl who did not know how to be, or did not want to be, or could not conceive herself to be, loved. The first line should be read as many ways as you can. Unreasonable, no reason, etc. Then, take each line as it's own "poem," and each verse likewise. Pay special attention to word play, and rhythm. Pay more attention to the verse that gives the poem it's title, it's the kernel that the rest is wrapped around. Then look at the last verse and you'll see how I express rhyme and rhythm as more expressive, more revealing, than meaning. And finally, research "thought form" for a deeper understanding.
Hope this helps, thanks for reading and taking the time and effort to review:-)
'ian

[MsMermaid]

Truthfully, this one confused me completely. I kept trying to grasp something that made sense to me. Re-reading shed no further light. Maybe I am obtuse. I like subtle cleverness, but this one was so subtle I couldn't find what it cleverly hid. I guess not all are meant to see. Maybe I've just been left out, because I am obtuse, as I said and can think of no other reason why I don't get what others seem to grasp, or were they just saying they understood and you are laughing behind your hand because you never intended it to make any sense?

[EMMIE]

THIS FLOWS SO WELL AND IT'S SO CREATIVE

[TawnyBlueStar]

I think its really good :)

First and second stanzas are my favourites :) the "to remember who I am" part stands out a lot :D
awesome emotion in this. i like it

[Harmonica winds]

really like the emotions in this. Nicely expressed

[Priscilla Sayers]

Although I am not quite sure I understood the last stanza completely as I am not an expert or all knowing, but the words that pour from your heart and soul... That i understand. never the one, because feelings do not synchronized with the level of your mind.... No one relateable to the man that lives inside. That I can relate to. Very strong poem!

[stars are far]

this was so well done :)