second addiction

I can’t tell whether I would compare you to drinking or smoking. whether I love the soft buzz you give me behind my eyes, or the burning passion in my chest. you’re addictive, and also intoxicating. after I’m done drinking you, a policeman might ask me to step out of the car because the way you taste makes everything sway back and forth. and the handcuffs he puts on me only remind me of how bound I am to you, and the idea of the hypnotic prison you keep me in. I don’t even want the key. my struggle between independence and intimacy keeps me restlessly indecisive about what I want and what I need. For now I’ll stay behind the bars - "at least there I’m safe" said the naive prisoner before they are tied down and stripped and slipped beneath the surface. I am no prisoner. but I am a lover. you cannot kill me, but you can keep me.

no-

yes, keep me locked up, please. I am begging to stay - this sentence has turned into a party where the music is too loud and the drink makes me lust even more. stumbling through the halls is a waste of time when I know you can’t stand the separation. anticipating for when you come - keeps me alive, or maybe it’s the threatening darkness.

yes, I’d like to stay your prisoner for a little while. but only yours. keep me tied up for your own pleasures. fight for me. protect me.

what is this game we’re playing?

I know I’m losing. losing it. losing my sanity. the longer I stay the harder I fall. 

but I know I’ll be caught.

Author's Note

first post - would love comments/critique!

Reviews

[Nightfeather]

This poem is so brilliant and I like that you are swaying from the generic poem lay-out but a using more line break would give your poem the sleek look it deserves. Your daringness has payed of, for you have talent and know how to convert your emotions and thoughts into poetry. An art that is not practiced but many, but you have seemed to master it. Never stop writing, for you have talent.

Good job :D

[PANDORA]

You could clean this up with the grammatical errors but to tell you the truth it did not bother me. Maybe break it up a little to help the flow. Only a suggestion because you asked for a critique.

You captured the feeling of obsession so well...I mean really well. Wherever the road leads, the emotion evoked will give you great writing material.

I look forward to reading more

[FaeryQueen]

and also, this reminds me of a dream i once had!

[FaeryQueen]

lovve this one sooo much! i think it's my fav, it's interesting to see a poem written a different way for once... i think it's very risky but this is awesome!

[S. COVEY]

thank you so much!!