Room 332

I have checked myself into hotel room 332. They say it is the gateway to heaven, no matter how many awful things you have done. They say that it’s dark decor and dimmed lighting fuels your self pity, and the rest your body is suddenly filled with black. There is no world outside of this room. 

The carpet is so soft, but it clashes with the wallpaper. The rats in the walls are all yelling, snap out of it! But I’m covering my ears. There are so many, and they are so loud.

I lay down and put my head on the floor, so I can feel the vibrations of people speaking in the room below me. My eyes are watering at the stench of the carpet, but the sounds are too comforting to pull away. I look in my suitcase, and change into the only thing I have packed a long white dress. It’s short sleeved, and the top is covered with lace. Simple and clean, is what I described to the woman working at the boutique on the corner. She showed me this dress, and I bought it with all the money I had left. 

At the door my mother is crying. She is canceling her plans to stay with me, afraid of leaving me alone. She’s promising, you're going to be okay. But I can’t let her see me like this again, so I slam the door. There is a knife next to me, covered in blood. The walls are bleeding, and the furniture too. I am screaming, crying, but not making a sound. The rats are angry, this wasn’t suppose to happen. They are begging, stop it! But it’s too late for me. I run to the bed, and everything stops. I am laying down, staring at the ceiling. The blood is fading, and so am I.