How to Live a Life

When life gets bad, what do you do? Join Gavin, and his wife, Sammie on a journey through life, hell, and a cool gift.

Chapter One

Time Is Short

I remember it like it was yesterday. How I got the news, and how I felt about it. I broke down crying instantly. I guess in this kind of situation, it’s only natural. I remember when the doctor said the test came back positive. The thoughts going through my head were ‘What do I do?’ and ‘Who do I tell?’ I guess these are only the thoughts that anyone would have in this situation. But for the days after, I was in a state of disposition. I didn’t know left from right. It was horrible.

Sitting in the shower that day after the news, I let the water run on my face. I looked back on my life, the moments that meant the most; the moments that I’d forgotten. The entire of life of myself was flashed before my eyes. I couldn’t believe it. Why did I waste so much of a good life? I guess it’s the way things work. You don’t know what you’ve done, until what you’ve done, is all you have. Until every little unimportant memory, becomes something that could have changed destiny.

Everything bothered me. I couldn’t stand being in the house alone. So, for the first time in my life, I let the dog in the house. I let the dog sleep on my lap, while I watched old I Love Lucy reruns. They entertain me. So does Three’s Company. My favorite part of any show is when Mr. Furley refers Jack to being gay. It makes me laugh deep inside, but I can’t bring it to come forward. To come out and show my true emotion.

I went outside today. It seemed pretty sunny. I had to get some milk and eggs to make the pancakes I have been longing for. I have learned that maybe I need to get out and get what I want while I still can. So, pancakes are what I wanted. They were what I was going to get. But when I got home and made them, the smell wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be. And the taste wasn’t as delicious as it was in my mind. Something was missing. I wasn’t sure what it was, exactly.

 

Chapter Two

Love At First Sight

The first time I saw him, he was in the grocery store. I couldn’t help but wonder why he looked so ragged. His hair was a mess, and his clothes looked like they haven’t been washed for days. He wore small looking glasses, and he looked like he needed someone. Someone important in his life. So I slipped my number in his bag of grocery’s before he left. I hope he will call. I wrote ‘Call if you need someone. 529-9980.’

It’s been three days, and I’ve gotten no new calls. Makes me wonder if he even saw the piece of paper with my number on it. Oh well, I mean, if he did, and wanted to call, he would, right? I wish I could talk to him, right now. I’d tell him I could be someone there for him. I think I am falling in love, with the strange man at the grocery store. Even if I am, he may be married. God only really knows. I’ve had bad luck in love anyways. It’d probably just turn out for the worse.

My old boyfriends won’t even talk to me now. The first guy I ever dated was a few years ago. His name was Matt. He was cute, funny guy. The kind of guy a girl only wished was true. But with him, my best friend liked him more. It turns out kind of cold. So don’t want to go there. Then there was Nick.

Nick was the shy type. He read a lot, and he loved to rhyme words. He was so cool with it. He wrote me a poem for Valentine’s Day. He was so sweet. I miss him sometimes. He was the first guy I ever let come into my apartment. He was the first guy to ever stay the night with me. He didn’t want anything but to hold me. I respected him for that. And it’s that that made me give him more. Something told me the time was right. It was amazing. But it’s too bad he had to be a fire fighter.

One night he went to fight a fire, and he was never seen again. Some of his fellow fire fighters said they saw him come out, but didn’t see where he went. I know though, that he didn’t make it. I cried for days. But, with the help of time, the pain slowly faded and quit coming through. It’s still there though. It comes through on those lonely nights at the park, where him and I shared so many special moments. That was where we had our first kiss. But enough about Nick, it’s starting to hurt again.

The guy after Nick, was Troy.

Troy was one of those guys who was a jerk at first. He didn’t really care if you liked him or not. He was kind of conceited. But, after a few drinks, I guess I lightened up. That was suppose to be a joke, it is okay to laugh. Seriously though, he was sweet, once you got to know him. But he’s one of those guys who can only hold for so long, then he has to let go and move on. He held onto me for a year though. Made my life a lot better for that one year. But then he had to let me go, sadly. I was trying to be different. I wasn’t.

The next guy on my list is Austin. He made me laugh so much. I miss him too. He was a lot like Nick; shy and read a lot of books. He loved the Harry Potter series. He would read them to me over and over, every night. He didn’t stop until he was sure I was fast asleep. This was sweet of him to do, not even Nick would do that. I think I loved him too. My second love. Austin was a little like Troy too. He didn’t want to hold on to one thing for long. He held onto me, for three years. Then, like a fish on a hook, he let me go.

There isn’t anyone else after Austin. Well, not guys anyways. Did I mention I was bisexual? Oops. I should have. Sorry. The first girl I dated was right after Austin let me go. Her name was Desiree. She was a sweet girl, with a nice figure. Her curves followed her body well. Her smile was so beautiful. She took my heart away when I first saw her. Her skin was perfectly smooth. And when her lips touched mine, I saw fireworks every time.

I remember when she had to leave. I cried my eyes out. She was moving to Germany with her family. She wanted to stay with me, but her mom wouldn’t allow it. It pissed me off greatly. So she said we should break up, so we wouldn’t feel committed to anything. I agreed. She kissed me one last time before she went. A tear escaped from my eyes.

The last person is Cassandra, or Cassie. She was a nice girl. Had everything planned. Too much planned. I had to break up with her because she, well, she was the cheating kind. She cheated on me twice. So I couldn’t take it and broke it off.

Ever since her, I decided to just quit on love. Or love quit on me. I don’t know what came first. Sometimes though, I feel like I am on an episode of Law and Order because it feels the world is against me. I’m just waiting for Olivia and Eliot come to my door, and take me away. That’d be the day. But until then, I’ll just sit here and wonder about the mystery man at the grocery store. I hope he calls.

Chapter Three

Old Stuff

It finally hit me. What was missing. What was missing from my life was love. I need some love. I find myself reminiscing about my old girlfriends. I pull out a yearbook, and go through, thinking to myself, ’What’s she doing now?’ The first girl I ran across was my first true love.

Her name was Samantha, or as she went by, Sammie. I absolutely loved this girl. I laugh on how I met her. It was in a bar in college. We went to high school together, and I mean, I knew her and all, we’ve just never talked before. What led us to talk was her ordering a beer and me ordering a Shirley temple. She called me a sissy. So I ordered a beer. Then she asked me to dance with her. Dancing with her is when I fell in love with her. The smell of her long, blonde hair stuck with me. I can still smell it to this day. Orange shampoo. Still makes me smile. The only thing that I can’t grasp back in my mind is something I want to remember. The feel of her touch. She was so cute when she’d smile, though she didn’t smile often. I don’t blame her. You try to find a thing to smile about in this world, and then hold on to it. It’s hard.

I remember the night I came home and she was crying her eyes out. I remember holding her, telling her everything was alright. It was raining that night. Ironically enough, The Thunder Rolls was playing on the radio. She hated Garth Brooks. I thought he was alright. I just held her though. She wouldn’t stop crying. I didn’t know what happened. I didn’t know what to do. I later came to find out that her favorite teacher was in a car wreck on the way home from vacation and passed away. I drove her to the funeral, stayed, and drove home by myself. She decided to stay with her family.

The next picture I came across was the beautiful Ally. She was the next best thing to Sammie. Ally was my first though. I am hoping you’re smart enough to know what I mean by that. If you’re not, then I don’t know what to tell you, because I am not going to go into detail. Anyways, I do remember that night, well. The smell of the apple scented candles still burns in my nose. That’s all the detail I’m getting into with that.

Suzy. She could make me laugh. She could light up a room. God, how I miss her. See, she got killed by a drunk driver. It was horrible. I’ll never forget getting the call.

I was in my dorm room smoking my cigarettes, very bad habit, never do that, and the phone rang. All I could hear was a screeching noise, and a whisper saying ‘I love you.’ I knew who it was right away. The phone hung up right away, and I dropped it, not believing what just happened. I couldn’t sleep that night. It really sucked. I can’t find any other word to describe it. It just sucked. Simple as that.

I put my yearbook away. I couldn’t find anyone else. Now, my mind was on my mother. I haven’t told anyone yet, about the test results. I should. It’d be easier to go through this with someone holding my hand. I start chemotherapy on Monday. I decide to call my mother.

The phone rings. She picks up, finally, after about the fiftieth ring. We make small talk for awhile. Then I get the seriousness built up in my throat, and tell her. ‘I have lung cancer.’ The phone is quiet for a moment. Then she breathes. She says I should come out and stay with her for awhile in Nebraska. I told her I’d love for her to come here and stay with me in Washington. She said she’d be on the first flight out to Seattle. I feel relived.

Music is something I have been into all of my life. Country, rock, rap. Anything really. I need it right now more than anything. What’s getting me through and keeping me sane is the music of George Strait. His song Check Yes or No is really getting me along. It’s a good, innocent love song.

Another song I love to hear isn’t a George song, but a Keith Urban song. Tonight I Wanna Cry is a good song. It’s depressing, but good, all the same. But music isn’t what’s on my mind right now. I was going through the groceries I got the other day, and I found a little card. It said, ‘Call if you need someone. 529-9980.’ I was going to call, but now I am afraid. I don’t even know who this person is. I was in such a hurry at the store, I wasn’t paying attention. I am just going to put the card by the phone. Just in case I decide to call.

***********

My mom was going to be here in twenty minutes. I was a little excited. I was going to get to see my mommy again. It’s been at least five years. When I moved out here, she got mad, and we kind of lost touch. We still talked, but not often. And when we did, it was just for a little while. The last time I saw her, actually, was Christmas time, five years ago, here, in my apartment. It’s kind of sad, but true.

Fifteen minutes. I hated counting down, but I couldn’t help it. There is a rerun of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on ABC Family. I like Tim Burton’s version better. It actually provides background information on Willy Wonka and stuff. It’s neat.

Finally, I hear a knock at the door. I know it’s my mom, and I jump and run to the door. I open it and she rushes in and gives me a big old hug. I hug back, and begin to cry. She cries along too. We’re two big babies. I love this woman, who gave me life. We sit and talk about old times for awhile.

Chapter Four

Moments

I remember as a little girl, I would sit and listen to the radio. Music was one of my favorite past times. My favorite was Johnny Cash. But here in Seattle, we don’t hear much on country music. We hear a lot on rock and rap, and that’s cool and all, but country music is what I was raised on. Garth Brooks, George Strait, George Jones. That’s music. Good music. But I can’t help but think of the time I had a chance to be a country music star.

I was in middle school. I loved to play the guitar and write songs. I wrote this one awesome song. It had a great melody to it. But the words is what made it cool.

Someday soon I will be saying, All the stuff I dread to say. You are leaving that is for sure. As for hope, now what’s the point?

People ate that up. They called it good. So, my dad took me down to Nashville, recorded a demo, and we were on our way to the top. It’s only to bad that I didn’t even make a record. I was close though. But capitol records didn’t think I was talented enough. So I just quit trying.

I got a new message today on my answering machine. It was from a woman, sounded elderly, and she was saying that she found a card, with my number on it saying, ‘Call if you need somebody.’ I was thinking, ‘Oh my God.’ She said to call back. So I did. I got the same elderly voice.

She told me all about her son, which would be the man I “met” in the grocery store, two weeks ago. She told me he had cancer, which explains the rough look he was wearing. I learned so much in that one phone call, and I knew that these people were going to be a part of my life. She told me to swing by and officially meet her son. I told her I would. We then hung up the phone. But what she told me, about her son, and him having cancer. It bothered me. I wanted to help, but how do you help someone who you don’t know how to help? You can’t. And it sucks.

***********

I swing by Dollar General to get a card, some chocolate, and a teddy bear on the way over. The teddy bear idea just came to me. I figured it’d be something he could hold on to for awhile. Teddy bears are so comforting.

I got to the apartment. It was a nice apartment complex. Brick walls on the outside. It’s neat. But when I got to the door, I suddenly got butterflies in my stomach. As if I was in the first grade. It was kind of funny. But, I found the courage to knock three knocks on the hard, black door. I felt a shiver as the knob turned.

The woman who opened the door was, in fact, an elderly looking woman. White hair. She looked oddly familiar. She invited me in. Inside, it was huge. I guess that was the advantage at getting the top apartment in the complex. The elderly woman told me to take a seat and she’d go get her son. I was nervous. When he came out of his room is when it hit me.

The elderly woman looked so familiar because her son was my ex boyfriend. I didn’t see it that day in the grocery store, but he’s the one boyfriend I never talk about. He was the only boyfriend I ever worried about. I mean, I broke his heart.

Gavin. He was my first true love. He loved me with all of his heart. And I loved him with all of mine. We went to high school together, but we really met in a bar in college. I asked him to dance. He said yes. Things kind of went together from there. He even asked me to marry him. I said yes. But then, that faithful night came.

I was sitting alone in our dorm, waiting for him to return. The phone rang and I answered it. The voice asked for me. They said my most favorite teacher, and mentor, Roseanne Roxson had passed away in a car crash coming home from vacation. I just started to bawl. Gavin came in and saw me, crying on the floor. He didn’t even know what was going on. He just held me and said it was all going to be okay, though, he couldn’t really promise anything.

He took me to the funeral, and I remember telling him to leave me there. I will never forget the look on his face when he was leaving. It was a look of sadness, depression, and loneliness. He did say once I was his life. I knew then that he meant it.

It amazed me though, that here he is, twenty years later, and he has cancer. I slowly got up, staring at him. He recognized me as well, because he came closer to me, as I did to him, and I gave him the biggest hug a girl could give someone. All he said was, ‘I missed you.’ He still loved me, after all these years. And, I still loved him. I looked up to find his mom, but she was no where to be seen.

I spent that night, talking about old times, catching up on things. There were a lot of laughs, and a lot of tears. Before I went home, he gave me a kiss goodbye. I didn’t stop him, I wanted it too.

Chapter Five

Sammie, My True Love

I couldn’t believe it. It was really her. After all these years apart, we are finally back together again. I can’t believe we ended up in the same city. It’s funny how things work out.

When I saw her, the only thought that was going through my mind was, ‘How did she find me?’ I was confused. But by the end of the night, I had everything clear. She saw me at the store, and thought I looked like I needed someone to talk to. She said she didn’t recognize me then. Then she told me how my mom called her and told her to come over sometime. I was so happy she did that. I knew having mom back would be good.

But, today is a different day. It’s Monday. Sammie is taking me to the doctor’s for my first chemotherapy treatment. This will be hard. I’ve heard that once you start it, you can’t back out. It is the only chance I have at living. I’m going to try and live.

At the hospital, the doctor is really quiet. He didn’t say too much. He just said to relax during treatment. So I tried. I was ready to leave. Finally, it was over.

On the way home, she held my hand and said she’d be here with me through everything. I couldn’t help but get a few tears in my eyes. She loved me. I loved her. What else is there?

 

Chapter Six

The Scare

It is right now, four in the morning and I am at the hospital with Gavin. He woke up and couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do, neither did his mom. So, we just rushed him here, where I am hyped up on sugar and coffee.

Hospitals are interesting. They have hallways that seem to go on for an eternity. But when you find the end, it’s in a place you don’t want to be. Hallways are the only safe place in a hospital. You can’t be bothered by doctors. There aren’t needles. There isn’t too much sadness. They have vending machines. Places to sit. And a place to watch the rain fall outside the window. When the rain falls, it’s like God is crying right along with you. Like he knows what the sadness is your going through, and he’s crying right along with you so you don’t feel alone.

It’s now six in the morning. McDonalds gets open about now. I think I’m going to go get something to eat. I give the counter lady my cell phone number to call in case anything happens. Otherwise, driving in the rain finding a McDonalds that’s open at six is interesting. I finally found one, and the rain stopped.

I was half way done with my egg biscuit when my cell went off. It was the hospital saying he was now in critical condition. They didn’t know what was wrong, but they asked that I get back as soon as I could. I was scared to death. I can’t lose him already, I just found him again. I hurried as fast as I could.

 

**********

In the hospital, he looked so peaceful. They said he was gone. I couldn’t believe it. I lied my head on his chest. Right then, a little pound came against my ear. I yelped. I told the doctors. They listened and heard it as well. They brought him back to life! It was a miracle. I was truly thanking God right now.

Eyes still shut, me holding his hand. I looked over at my finger. It needed something. It didn’t need to be cleaned. It needed the promise and commitment of Gavin. But he hasn’t woken up yet, so I couldn’t get it. I was going to ask him to marry me. A little mixed up, I know. But we have no time to lose.

 

I went outside, and I saw, for the first time in awhile, a flower on the ground. I swear I was looking at the face of God. It was so pretty. I picked it. I’ll give it to Gavin. He’ll love it. Flowers and him are like a lyric to a melody. They go together, so much its scary.

When I got back to the hospital room, he was awake. I gave him a really good hug. It was great to see him awake. He smiled at me and kissed me a little. I knew it was time to ask him the question I needed to ask him, so, with my eyes totally faced on him, I asked him to marry me. He was silent for awhile, then he shook his head and said yes. Right then, after that perfect moment, the doctor came in. I could tell it wasn’t good news.

The doctor just said Gavin had 3 weeks to live. In that 3 weeks, we are going to get married, and then I’m going to show him how to live. It should be fun…

 

Chapter Seven

How to Save a Life

Sammie is a great girlfriend. I really do love her. She asked me to marry her, before we got the news that I only had 3 weeks to live. In that 3 weeks, I will get married, and she promised she’d teach me how to live. That’s the way I need to go out, living. I’m ready to fight this thing. I will conquer this, it won’t conquer me.

We’re going to get married today. Its going to be small wedding, just her, my mother, and me. The way it should be. It’s really nice to be able to marry the one true girl my heart has never let go of. That is a nice thing, to never have to let go.

The wedding was nice. To see her in the pretty, white, long dress, and me in a tuxedo. It felt weird being in one, but I was in one. Now, me and her are on our way to go fishing. Hell of a honey moon, I know. This is part of her teaching me how to live. I caught a really huge fish too. I liked it, even though the fish about took me under.

We were sitting in the boat, and I had my pole in the water. I didn’t really see the point of sitting there awake waiting for something that seemed like it never would happen. I told Sammie I was falling asleep, since the chemo had me beat anyways. So, I fell asleep. And the next thing I knew, the pole was unwinding, and the boat was moving, I swear, a hundred miles an hour! It was crazy. So after the boat stopped, I reeled it in, and it was a fish about 3 feet long. It was really sweet.

So, after our little fishing disaster, she took me out for ice cream. Now at first, I thought it was a little childish. But then she explained it to me. Ice cream is like life. Nice and hard in the beginning. , but after time, the heat beats it down to the slimy juice it is. It’s what happens in life. You come nice and hard in the beginning, but then life puts so much heat on you, that you melt. It made me cry. It made so much sense to me. So after she explained it to me, we sat at the dock and looked out on the water. The sun shining down on it, making it look so beautiful.

That night was our first night together as husband and wife. It was incredible to be able to call her my wife. I really did love her to death. She is going to be mine for the rest of my life, and no, that wasn’t a cruel joke.

I laid there. Underneath the stars. Have you ever noticed the world is so small? How the universe is full of bigger things out there, such as Jupiter, and the rest of the Milky Way. It’s amazing to see. And then I just realized, if the world is small to the universe, then I must be an ant to it. And if I am an ant to the universe, then a single piece of dirt must be so small that you can’t even see it. It hurts to think about how small you really are, but its true. So true.

It’s chili outside. Its 2 in the morning, and I can’t breathe, and I’m outside in the cold. I can see my breath on the air every time I breathe. I hate it. But what else can I do? There is absolutely nothing on this earth that could cure this pain that I am under. Nothing…

 

 

Chapter Eight

Price to Pay

The price to pay for love is absolutely crazy. You have to be able to count backwards while jumping on your hands, but not show a single sign of weakness no matter how weak everyone knows you already are! Gavin getting sick is getting worse and worse every night. Tonight, we had to take him back to the hospital. The doctor said if he came back one more time, they weren’t going to let him come home either until everything was cured, or he died. I don’t want that last one to happen. I don’t want to lose my husband.

It’s been 4 hours since we brought him to the hospital and they still don’t have it under control. I told his mom I’d be out taking breather, but to call if anything happened. She just said okay. I went down to the local coffee shop, and just sat and enjoyed the sweet aroma of the coffee beans. Then, I went outside and took a walk around town. The air was polluted, and nothing was going right in anyone’s life, but it felt good to be around people who couldn’t see totally through me. I guess you can call this my breakdown. I do think it is one. I’m going to end up getting an ulcer for worrying too much. Everything is going to be fine, I just need to keep thinking that.

I finally got back to the hospital, where the nurses told me Gavin was fine and in the nursing station. His mom left to go home. She was worn out and tired. They said they were keeping him over night, and I was also tired. I told them to tell him I was heading home also, and I’d be back after work tonight.

On the way home from work, I stopped by the store and picked up a few pills. Mostly for my headache, that had been killing me since forever ago. Then I called up some girlfriends of mine and said I needed to talk. They came over, and I told them about everything that was going on. They were so there for me, and I liked it. I felt bad, though, because Gavin was going through a worst time than me, and I was at home complaining. But, I guess I will live.

When I get back to the hospital, something went terribly wrong. Gavin went under a major attack. He passed out. He went into a coma type thing. He hasn’t woken up for 6 hours. This was really worrying me. I’m so scared right now…what can I do…….?

 

 

Chapter Nine

Outside Looking In

Have you ever wondered what it is like on the outside of yourself looking in. Seeing what everyone else sees. I got the chance to find out. I went into a coma during my little hospital visit. And when I woke up, I wasn’t in my body, but flying above it. Seeing everything. Everyone panicking, so afraid to lose me. It was shocking to see how many people, people you know and people that are complete strangers, who care. They want to keep you alive so bad, and they’d about do everything to keep me alive.

I saw a lot of things. I saw everything from people crying over me, to people on the other side of the wall. Next to my room was a woman who just lost her baby. She lost her baby, and she was there alone. No one else to take care of her. It made me want to reach out for her, and tell her there is at least one soul who wants to help her. So I did just that. I sat there by her side, and reached out for her hand. I think she felt me, because right when I touched her, she calmed down. It felt great to be able to calm one person down. It’s an amazing feeling.

The next thing I saw was outside the hospital. Where a woman was raped. So alone, in that alley way she was, where the police found her. She didn’t make the ambulance ride to the hospital, but I saw her, right next to me. Did this mean I was dead?

I felt like a ghost. I sure as hell wasn’t human. I could fly in the skies of New York. I saw things I never have before. It made me feel a little happy, and yet a little sad. How come I couldn’t see this clearly before? Was the rain that heavy that I couldn’t see across the street? If I got to wake up from this, I’m going to make life all it can be. After all, everyday’s end could be the end of me….

*******

It was two in the morning. I remember waking up having a terrible headache. The clock was really loud in my ear. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I hated it. Then I saw her, my wife, sitting there. She was sleeping. She looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to leave her alone in this world. I wished there was a way out of this. If what the doctor said is right, I only have about 2 weeks to live. In that 2 weeks, I’ve got to show everyone I went out living.

The morning found Sammie waking me up with a kiss. I didn’t mind this. I guess the doctor said I could go home today. I planned on it. I wanted to go sky diving. I knew the right guy to ask too! My friend, Jay, is the owner of the sky diving place. I’m not sure what it was called, but I’m glad he owned it. It wouldn’t cost Sammie and I anything. I was so excited. Sammie was as well. She was happy to see I had more enthusiasm to live. It was just the attitude I needed to get through this.

So when we got to the sky diving place, Jay hooked us up. He even was going to fly us up himself. I was so excited. I was ready to fly again.

While up in the plane, Sammie kept asking me why I wanted to sky dive. I just kept telling her it was because I wanted to go out flying, not dying. Before I jumped out, Sammie grabbed my hand. I took her with me. I remember going down, all I felt was the wind in my face. It was so cold, but yet, made me feel so free. It was a sweet breeze. I like the feeling. I wish it didn’t have to ever end.

 

 

Chapter Ten

Lost in the Moment

Gavin was totally better. He was being happy. I’ve never seen him smile this much. First it was sky diving, now he’s been going to church. It’s been 4 weeks since the last hospital visit. He’s living longer than the doctor gave him. It was amazing. He is amazing.

I didn’t know how to tell him. I was pregnant, and I didn’t know what to say to him. I have to tell him. It’s his child, and if things get turned to the worst, then he’ll be happy to know someone will carry on his name forever. At least I hope it is a boy. If it was a girl, it’d be cool, just means there’ll be someone for Gavin to watch over forever.

 

 

Chapter Eleven

An Angel Gained

Sammie told me she was pregnant. I am so happy. I wanted this to happen. I wanted to have a child before I died. I know it’s coming soon. 6 months over what the doctor said is too far. And I could feel myself weakening down. I’m still living. The last thing I did was take Sammie to Colorado and went mountain climbing at the Rocky Mountains. It was so great. The next thing to do, is to go bull riding. It sounds dangerous, I know, but I just want to do it once. Just once.

Sammie and I are going out tonight. Just the two of us. It’s going to be nice. A dinner and a movie. It should be fantastic. I see what she’s wearing, too. A nice red dress. Kind of silky. She looks beautiful. I feel kind of odd, but I’m shaking it off. Tonight has to be perfect. Tonight, will be the night, that I will not be the cancer patient, but the husband Sammie deserves. Tonight is about her, not me.

When we got to the restaurant, everything was going perfectly. The perfect wife on my arms, a perfect breeze laying on the wind. There couldn’t be anything on earth as perfect as that. Then, during dinner, the best surprise could have happened. It was time to have our baby girl.

*******

When we got to the hospital, the nurses were surprised that it was me they were seeing bringing her in. Usually it’s the other way around. I couldn’t believe this was happening. The baby was coming, and after tonight, I would be a proud father. I would be the only thing I wanted to be before I died.

It’s been 3 hours. She was almost fully dilated, and the baby was already crowning. I was there holding on the whole time. I never planned to let go. I loved her more than anything in my whole entire life. She helped me get through everything, and I was going to help her get through this. The baby is almost fully out. It’s so exciting. I saw a smile on Sammie’s face. I squeezed her hand to let her know I was there.

*******

It’s a baby girl! Her name is Eleanor May, or Ellie for short. She was so adorable. She was perfect. Being lost in the moment was amazing.

 

 

Chapter Twelve

Time

Its been 3 months since I had my baby girl. Ellie is so adorable. Gavin loves her. He’s been playing with her non-stop. It’s so cute to see how a daddy cherishes his baby girl. Kind of like a mom babies their baby boy.

Galvin had an attack the other night. It wasn’t anything too major. He went to the hospital and everything was fine. Just a normal attack. I’m glad it wasn’t anything major. If it was, I don’t have the faintest idea what I’d do.

*******

….All I heard was a loud thump on the floor. Gavin was laying the floor, unconscious and not breathing. Its scaring the crap out of me. He’s still unconscious, but they’ve got him breathing. This is something major. They don’t think he is going to make it through this. But, I’ve got to be strong, for me, and for Ellie. I’ve been holding back tears all night. I need to get away.

I found myself at a coffee shop. Sipping on coffee, wondering why life is like this. I knew coming into this whole thing that this was going to eventually happen, but I didn’t think time would fly this fast. I was hoping time didn’t fly at all. I wanted to pause life 2 months ago, when we were Rocky Mountain climbing. This is really hurting. It’s cutting deeper than deep should be aloud to cut.

I got a call on my cell saying they got it under control finally. I told them I wasn’t ready to come back. They said to take my time and that they understand. I wonder how much they get paid to say that. I couldn’t do the job they do. Telling people their love one died or has cancer. I couldn’t be the one to deliver that blow to a hard working family who deserves more. It must suck to have to do that, but I guess that they chose to do it. I know that I can’t, and will never.

By the time I got the nerve to get up from my seat, it already passed 4 hours since I got the call. I haven’t gotten anymore calls, so nothing must have changed. Gavin needs someone there for him, but I just can’t go back and see him go through that. It hurts way too much. My husband, the man I’ve always loved, is going to die. You can’t deny it. No one can. I’m just so damn frustrated. Why do things have to be this way? Why does it have to hurt so bad?

I got another call. Everything is still fine. He’s still unconscious, but they’ve got him stable. I guess there going to keep him for a few weeks at the hospital. So it’s official. My husband is in a coma. I felt the tears weld up as I began to cry. I decided that 2 in the morning was enough time. I was going to go home, rest, then head back to the hospital in the morning.

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

20 Years Later…

It’s been twenty years since my daddy passed away. I was only 3 months old. I never got to know him, but my mommy says he loved me so much. He played with me everyday. I just wish I got to know him. He sounded like a great guy. A great guy who got handed the bad hand. Everything happens for a reason, right?

My name is Eleanor May, or Ellie. I work at the New York Times. I have a boyfriend. His name is Mason. He is the sweetest guy ever. We’ve been seeing each other going on two years now. We started dating after high school got out. I guess I should mention I am an intern here at the Times. It’s a fun job, helping the reporters and stuff out with whatever they need assisted with. It’s not bad for a 20 year old, is it?

Mom still lives in the same old house. She isn’t doing too bad, but she has never been too good. She has her good moments, but then they get countered by her horrible nights. Crying, wishing my dad was here. I hate to see her go through it. It breaks my heart. But there isn’t a single thing I can do to make her feel better. I’ve tried it all. She won’t leave the house. She barely bathes. She looks like hell. But she’s my mom and I love her to death.

Tonight, I’m meeting Mason to celebrate our two year anniversary. I’m so excited. I’m hoping tonight is the night he will propose to me! It’d be so great. To have the one true man that I have ever loved ask me to marry him…hmmm. It’d be nice for a change. Something happy to fill my life. Maybe it’d get mom out and come celebrate. It’d certainly bring things to a happy ending. At least for awhile.

*******

Its 8, and Mason will be coming to get me pretty soon. I’m so excited!!!! Tonight may be the night that I come back home engaged. Oh, that’s the doorbell now. Can’t keep him waiting.

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

Surprise, Surprise

Mason brought me to this wonderful restaurant. It’s so fancy. For our meal, I ordered steak. Mason did as well. It was delicious. Best I’ve ever had, but don’t tell mom that. Her steak is really great too.

Mason looks at me, and smiles. He says he has a big surprise for me. I smiled and asked what it was, and before I knew it, he was on one knee right in front of me. The music stopped, and I swear everyone was staring. Then he asked, “Ellie, will you marry me?” My only reply, was simple. “Yes.”

Every stood up and cheered as he picked me up and kissed me. I was so in love at that moment. I couldn’t help but kiss him and never let go. I was engaged! Soon to be married. Hopefully sooner than soon.

As soon as I got home, I told my mommy. She was so happy for me. I saw a smile on her face take the place of that frown that was always shown. We stayed up the rest of the night, talking about good times. She told me stories of my father. She especially remembered the one where her and my dad went Rocky Mountain climbing. She loved to tell it.

The morning found me and her camped out on the couch. I must have fell asleep. Good thing its Saturday, or I would have been late for work. I got up and decided to cook some breakfast, and give her something to wake up too. Eggs, ham, and bacon…sounds really good right about now.

*******

We decided to go to the zoo after breakfast. I called Mason and he came over and picked us up. Mom’s treating us to it as her engagement gift. It’s so sweet of her. She actually seems happy today too. I couldn’t believe it.

Mason and me wanted to go see the bears. There scary…rawr! My favorite animal of all though is the polar bear, so its cool to be able to see them again. This is really what I call a fun gift.

We caught up with mom again at the burger king they had in the zoo. She seemed a bit down, probably because we ditched her. Oops. I told Mason we better stay with her the rest of the time there. He agreed. So, we kept her happy. She enjoyed it. We went and saw her favorite animal, the cheetah. She has always loved them. I don’t get why though. It’s just a over-sized cat with spots. But, she is going to stay happy today, weather she likes it, or not. She will though. Being happy is her middle name…

 

 

Chapter Fifteen

Wedding Bells

Its been a year since that day at the zoo. Today is my wedding day. It’s such a weird day. Everything was moving in such a rush, and boom! Here we are. Getting married. It’s nice. So why am I not as happy as I should be. I think I know why, but I’m not sure.

Its just, I wish my daddy was here. I am daddy’s little girl. I wish he was here to walk me down the isle and give me away. I wipe away a tear as it falls. Its time to suck it up and get out there. The music is going off.

Walking down the isle, I saw all my friends. Janet, Kris, Casey, Ron, Kristen, Brittany, Danny, Amanda, everyone. Its really sweet of them to show up. I can’t believe they did after three years of not talking. Then I saw him. Mason. The man I was about to marry. My sweetheart. He’s been there for me through so much. It’s amazing he has stuck with me this far. I’ll always love him. There isn’t a doubt in this mind of mine. Then I look up toward the window. And in the window pane, I swear I see my dad. He winked at me and said he was proud of me. With teary eyes, I looked up at Mason. He lifted my vale, wrapped his elbow in mine, and we turned and faced the priest.

As the vows were being read, I kept thinking how life was going to be different after this. With mom passing away 2 months ago, it made things hard. But at least now I know she is in a better place, with my dad. Their finally back together. Someday I’ll join them, and it will be just us three again. Finally, the last of the vows were read. I turned to Mason, said “I do.” and then he kissed me. This kiss wasn’t like the others. It was different. Something about it was different. It was really nice. I didn’t let go for about 2 minutes. People were getting impatient, so I had to. Otherwise, I could have kept it up.

The reception was amazing. I got to talk to all my old friends again. Then my mom’s old friends as well. I called them my aunts and uncles. They were all there for me after she passed away. But, she wouldn’t want me to cry right now. My wedding day is truly a happy ending.

About the Author

 

Scott Allen Stearns

 

was born in York, Nebraska on February 12, 1993. He has lived with his grandparents since he was 4 days old. He grew up on a farm outside of York. He has since moved when he was 10 years old to Glenwood, Iowa. It is here where he lost his mom, grandma, to lung cancer. She is the inspiration for this story. Scott currently lives with his dad, grandpa, in Glenwood and is a creative writer. This is just one of his many writings as a writer.

With no time to lose, and all the money to spare, I went out and bought a ring. It was really pretty, and it glistened pink against the sun. It cost me $1,000, but it was worth every cent.

Author's Note

This is the whole story. Please, review. Also, this story is dedicated to my mother, Leanor Stearns, who passed away from cancer.

Reviews

[fionnaiscool]

It's good. but why did you all of the sudden say something about that ring, in the authors note? It didn't really have an explanation, or reason, that i know of... but other than that, awsome writing. Can't wait to read more of your writing.

[fionnaiscool]

Its actually 1-6. but i like it. its good. I can't wait to hear more.