Life on the Yellow Line

Just a few thoughts. Note on the title: Yellow Line refers both to "stand behind" caution and the "Yonge-University-Spadina" TTC line in Toronto where this poem was written.

He doesn't flinch
as the subway comes roaring
down the tracks
though his foot is on the yellow line
he's feeling fine.
He wouldn't
but he's thinking
maybe.

Suicide's for quitters,
that's what he believes for now,
folks who can't stand to play the game until its end.
And besides, he thinks,
how inconvenient
for the riders
if his corpse clogs up the system.
Nobody deserves that hassle.
And oh man,
how embarrassing
if he doesn't die.

He'll be okay.
Everyone should stand with their toe
on the yellow line
just a little in their life
to make sure.

Reviews

[Ms. Gruye]

you put an interesting spin on the standard glib suicide poem [your last stanza put this one in the win column for me]. you've used a lot of help line jargon: suicide is for quitters, and deal with the cliche by addressing it as such.

In the last stanza I would remove:
I think he'll be okay.

this is the only time the narrator refers to him or herself and I found it jarring.
also, you may want to consider a more elaborate title. To me me this piece was not about suicide, it's about that yellow line and how the character flirts with it.

viva la