Student Poem

I was writing a lot of poetry around this time. Some things just don't lend themselves to titles.

Same-day furniture delivery,
two-hour laundromat,
glasses in about an hour --
oil changed while you wait.

My essay's due on Friday,
my time is running thin.
Even if I knew what I want to say,
I wouldn't know how to begin.
I have a vacation all planned out,
been saving since last year.
I'm getting ill
and time stands still
if you're just standing here.

Ten minutes until the library closes,
a subway train every three to five,
twenty seconds to cross the street,
a world in the blink of an eye.

Reviews

[Ian Caithness]

Being a student myself, I can relate to this poem. The title could use some work, perhaps consider using 'An Education' as a title or 'Life / Student'. Either would make the poem more agreeable to readers. The first time I saw the title I was distracted, put off by it, more than attracted to it. A poem should be attractive in the first instance and the title fails to give that impression.

What's interesting about this poem is that the first and third stanza are written in italics, denoting either that they are to be considered separate functions of the poem and that they were added later. Given that there are two versions of the poem, I suspect the latter.

I have to admit that the first stanza does nothing for the poem. Where the second stanza is powerful, evocative of the student life, the first stanza seems more of a general description - vague and aloof. It has no specific poetic features but if you looked at introducing the rhyme scheme you had in the second stanza in the first, it could improve the flow of the poem.

I do love the second stanza. It's reminiscient of student life and that's what it is meant to evoke. Students do struggle with deadlines. Students do sometimes struggle with their words. Students do save for vacations, get ill, watch time pass slowly. What's good about this poem is that it follows onto the third stanza which, while not as powerful, still stands as a testament to a student philosophy.

It's difficult to point out where to improve because there is such a wealth of good features. Look through the poem again, read it aloud and see what you think of it - see how it flows, how words and sentences join together. You'll know from there.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Everything rushing and spinning outside us and inside, a raging turmoil blended with overworked adrenalin, if there be such a thing! Amazing read. There is a reason why I both long for and have not returned to the academic rat race after barely completing a couple of graduate programs. Lol. Thanks for sharing.

[Wondering Mind]

Nicely done.. Somehow, it reminds me of " A day in the life" and the changing musical movements of the song.

[Fernando Pessoa]

You really do give us that taste of thoughts that go wild while the stresses of life and school fill the day. It makes me glad I've moved on from those days!

Albert Einstein: "Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school."

[Lola Nation]

LOL! Loved it!!!

[Tony]

Well. This is a good poem, an imaginative and well articulated moment in a life I would be loathe to lead.
Thank you, thank you for reminding me again!

[LJW]

Yes, time. I like your use of just a bit of rhyme here. I also like that you took a subject written about ad nauseum and came up with a unique slant on the subject. Good observational stuff here,