Epilogue: Imperfect Perfection

Epilogue: Imperfect Perfection

A Couple Months Later

One morning, we woke up to shots fired. S**t always happens in the morning, I guess that would be the best time for them to strike considering most of the unit, including me, was sleeping. We all scrambled out of bed and got geared up. A couple people were down by the time we got outside. “I gots your back!” Johan yells to me.
“Finally, some action!” Leo says as he starts shooting the enemy. I may not like it, but at least he gets the job done. Bullets are flying, s**t’s blowing up, and I hear a bang behind me. I turn around to see the crumpled body of an Iraqi with a bullet in his head. I turn around, and see Francois waving at me. I get right back into the action, and start shooting. I take cover as the fire intensifies. It’s been awhile since I was in a combat situation.
“Johan! Leo!” I shout from the wall.
“Ja?”
“Yeah?”
“Over here!” I motion towards them. They spot me and rush over. I go back to hiding and they catch up. “You wanted action, Leo, you happy now?”
“Extremely.” Leo says.
“You ams crazy.” Johan says.
“Nope, just doing my job.” Leo’s probably got more kills than anyone else here, but he’s also reckless with it. I see Stec, Eddie, Sean and Tyler either getting cover, or getting shot at. I see more people drop and it makes me sick to my stomach. I kill a few more people before our position is compromised. We rush and find new cover.
“Aren’t you even the tiniest bit afraid you’re going to die today?” I ask.
“Not at all, I’m taking these fuckers with me!” He says as he kills another. I managed to kill a few more too, they were everywhere. I was convinced none of us were getting out of there alive.
“DIE!!! DIE!!!” Leo says as he shoots them. He gets way too into it. I see bodies drop in front of me and it takes me a second to remember Francois is behind us picking them off. Damn, that guy is good.
“F**k, I’m out of ammo.”
“Me toos.” Johan says.
“Let’s go.” Leo says. We rush to the supply crate and manage to reload before we’re discovered. Leo takes the first few shots. Johan takes the other side and we rush out, trying to find adequate cover. We reach it, and get our backs to the wall.
“It’s been an honor serving with you guys.” I say.
“I am honored as well.” Johan says.
“You say that like we’re already done for.” Leo says.
“Just in case we are.” I say.
“Nah, we’ll get through this, we always do.”
“You ams right.” Johan says.
“Alright, let’s split up and finish these b******s off! See you at the celebration and mourning when we’re finished!” We do a triple fist bump and separate. I don’t know about the other two, but I didn’t have many enemies in my way. As I pick up my gun to shoot the enemy in front of me, I see him turn around and run. I shoot him anyway, one more left alive is one more that can kill us. I hear the cease fire call, and I head to the tent.
“Alright, good job out there today guys, we managed to hold them off, they retreated.” Kait tells us. “Alpha, Stec, you and the doctor will be checking bodies for survivors. Honey, Lutz, you start bringing back the dead. Everyone else help repair our station. Cougle will be overseeing cleanup while I start making the list of the dead.”
“Yes sir.” Everyone says at once. I start checking out the bodies, but nobody was alive yet. And then I saw him lying there, dead. My best friend was gone forever and there was nothing I could do about it.
“Johan! Johan!” I said as I rushed up to him. I picked up his limp body and started to cry. I couldn’t help it. One of my best friends is dead in my arms. He had bullet wounds all over, and his throat was slit. Bit overboard, if you ask me. I don’t know how long I was there, but it was long enough for Kait to come over.
“Alpha! Have you finished?” she asks. “You’ve been over here for- oh, I see. Why don’t you, you uh, get checked out by the doctor? I’ll finish here.”
“Thank- thank you, sir.” I manage to blubber out. I can’t believe this s**t, a 21 year old marine, crying in front of his female commander. I must look pathetic, but I couldn’t help it. Reality had hit me harder than it has the entire time I’ve been here. I guess it’s different when it’s someone you’re close to. I know we’re not supposed to be attached to anyone in our unit, but I was already attached to Johan before we got here, I couldn’t just disassociate from him like that, as much as I’ve been conditioned to. I feel that way for everyone else besides Leo and Johan, I can’t help it. Without Johan to help me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold Leo back. I’m afraid of what I might have to do to keep him under control. I spent years picking on people who were mentally ill because I didn’t like crazy people. Now, my only remaining best friend is possibly a psychopath, sociopath at the very least. There’s only one proper way to deal with those kind of people, and I don’t want to be the one to be the one to have to do it.
“-with me here?” I hear Lisa, the doctor asks me.
“What?” I ask, still dazed.
“I was asking if you were still here with me, I guess not, you seemed lost in thought.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m just. Can I stay here for a couple of days? I need to be sedated.”
“After the psychological trauma you just endured, I understand. This wasn’t a regular comrade who died. For you, this is different, so I’m going to agree. Your other friend, too, I need to see him.”
“Why?”
“Same thing I do for everyone, a post battle physical, and in his case, psychological exam. I’m as worried as you are about his mental health, why he’s still here eludes me, except-”
“-except?” She looks around to make sure nobody is around or listening.”
“Your friend may be a test case.” she whispers.
“What?” I whisper back.
“I’ve said too much, go lie down.” I took my pills and went to sleep. I slept for a day and a half, my dreams were upsetting, it was like watching home movies of when I was younger, except with our current faces, and by the end, I remember crying in my dream, and then nothing for awhile. I could hear the commotion going on outside, sounded boring, but I knew I was still asleep, it was weird. When I finally got up, I went straight to Lisa. “How do you feel?”
“Physically, fine. Mentally, it’s a lot to process, it still doesn’t feel real.”
“It’s going to, get dressed. Our mass funeral is about to begin.
“Mass- how many did we lose?”
“Thirteen.”
“Holy s**t.” She was right, the funeral fucked me up. Leo hasn’t been fidgety all day, in fact, he hasn’t said anything. I tried initiating conversation, but he just ignored me, or just looked at me. He didn’t even react when the coffins were being sent out. Lisa says he was physically fine, and said he was used to people dying when she asked him about Johan’s death. I think this is affecting him more than he lets on, it’s a bit unsettling, considering I’m the only person left in the unit who understands his true potential. “So, how many did you take out that day?” I ask Leo, hoping talking about his kills will get him talking.
“12.” He tells me.
“They tell me I killed 11, that’s my most ever!”
“Not bad, killer.” Leo says with a smirk. “Knew I had it in you.”
“Well, I learned from the best.”
“Yeah, I guess you did.”
“So, what uh, do you want to do? Shift doesn’t start for another hour.”
“I wanna get revenge.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Revenge.”
“C’mon, man.” He just stays silent. Who am I going to talk to about him, the doctor? There’s only so much she can do, and he refuses any help. Without Johan to talk to about him, I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do here, he’s my best friend, and I might lose him too, if not to this war, then to insanity. He’ll probably end up in jail after we get home, probably end up a serial killer. That’s what she meant by test case. It’s possible that the military would allow for sociopaths and psychopaths to see how they would do as soldiers. They’re going to kill anyway, so why not do it where it’s their job description? Well, I’m concerned for everyone’s safety, including his own. This is the first time I’ve seen him like this and I don’t like it. I went to the medical tent and approached Lisa. “I’m going to need you to slip a mickey into Leo’s water.” She laughs.
“A what?” She chuckles.
“Slip something in his water to keep him slow, drug him, anything to stop him from killing us all.”
“I can’t just do that.”
“We need to do something, you fucked with Eric and Jesse’s water!”
“Shh, how do you know about that?” she says, hushed.
“I had just left the tent when Stec came in and you told him to make it two. When we were done shopping, he said he couldn’t believe how much of his own funds he had to shell out to get only two tabs of acid.”
“Fine, I’ll keep him doped up if it means our safety, I’ll just write it down as I prescribed it to him. Need to start with a low dosage, don’t want him too slow, he still needs to be able to function to do his job.”
“Whatever you gotta do, I don’t want him turning on us.”
“Let’s hope this works, I don’t want to die at the hands of that psycho either.”
“Thanks, you’re the unknown hero.”
“Thanks, Alpha.”
“No problem, Dr. Kuklis; again, thank you.” I leave the tent, and sit next to Leo. “How are you doing, buddy?” He doesn’t answer. “Look, I promise you, by the time we get home, Johan will have been avenged.” He just looks at me with that straight face, and then back into the distance. I get we all grieve in our own way, Johan was like a brother to us, it really sucks he’s gone for good. At least he died doing what he loved, I guess being born in the United States is something we take for granted, but Johan really loved our country. I guess seeing another country through the eyes of a foreigner, you see major differences than what you’re used to, and Johan loved what he saw. Looking around now, I’m glad I don’t live in this shithole, I can see that my country is way better than this place, even with its faults. I’ll let Leo go through his introverted way of grieving. Let’s just hope stays sane for a little while longer...












To Be Continued…