Part VI: F**k. Year 0

Part VI: F**k.

Year 0

2006

Ahh, graduation… best day of my life. Oh, man it was awesome, I got all sorts of awards and trophies for football, got the honor roll, and all that other happy horseshit. The after party at my house was bumping. Me and the boys and the girls got so f*****g shitfaced, I ended up f*****g Christy in the pool. The next afternoon, me, Christy and the boys got up off the floor. “Hey baby, how ya doin?” I asked her.
“Ugh, I feel like s**t.”
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take you home.”
“That’s ams was a fun party.” Johan says.
“Yeah, man. I’m so glad I was able to be home for it.” Leo says.
“When are you guys going to basic?” I asked.
“In a few weeks.”
“Good luck, you guys.”
“Sure you don’ts want to joins us?” Johan asked me.
“Haha, only if I have to.”
“Well, that ams your choice, I guess.” About a week went by before I got a call from Christy to come over. I rolled by her house and her mom let me in.
“Hey baby.”
“We need to talk.” she says.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m leaving for Paris next week.”
“Paris? Isn’t that a little far?”
“My mom got me into an internship for one of the major clothing companies, I need to get my fashion career going.”
“Ok, that’s good for you.”
“Yeah, not so much for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We have to break up.”
“What?? Really?”
“Yeah.”
“We can’t just have a long distance relationship?”
“You’re going to be national football player, you’re going to be swimming in girls, you’re not going to wait for me.”
“You really think that’s going to happen?”
“I know it will.”
“How do you know it will?”
“I know how you are, Samson. Not only that, but I’ve been talking to people and I found out things I wish weren’t true. Maybe when you’re a famous athlete, and I got my clothing line going, we can maybe try again. I don’t know if you’ll ever change, which will be crucial in my decision. For now though, we have to separate, it’s what’s best.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m sorry, Samson.”
“F**k.”
“Look at it this way, you have a future of money and glory. You can have whatever you want even more than now.”
“Does it really have to be over?”
“Yes.”
“So this is goodbye?”
“In a sense.”
“But I love you, Christy.”
“Yeah, I know you think so.”
“What the f**k is that supposed to mean?”
“You already know.”
“This is bullshit.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s the way it has to be.”
“Whatever, f**k you. I’ve got a life of glory ahead of me anyways, who needs you?”
“Don’t be an a*****e!”
“Oh, yeah, I’m the a*****e. I was having a good day until you decided to be a b***h.”
“What the f**k, Samson?”
“I’m f*****g pissed! I thought you wanted to hang out or something, not break up!”
“I’m sorry, Sammy.”
“Bullshit with your sorry bullshit.”
“This is not how I thought you’d take it, I thought you’d be more mature than this.”
“Can we at least f**k?”
“No! You know, there’s more to life than sex. Besides, you’ve had enough for both of us.”
“What the f**k are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I heard you’ve been school cruising.”
“School cruising?”
“Yeah.”
“What the hell does that even mean?”
“You know exactly what it means.”
“Um, no. This is the first I’ve heard of this.”
“Mary, Jeanie, Melissa, Janis, Helen, Rosemary, Samantha, Caitlyn, Michelle, Jessica. Is that the first time you’ve heard those names?”
“Um.”
“And those are just the ones I know about, Samson.”
“Um.”
“And there’s one more thing I need to know.”
“What’s that?”
“Who took your virginity?”
“You did.”
“Really? Cause I heard you screwed Sandra our freshman year.”
“I didn’t though, I only told that to the upperclassmen so I could get access to their parties.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“Believe me or not, it’s true.”
“Yeah, I don’t know.”
“Are you for real?”
“Are you? You seem to have been putting me on for I don’t know how long.”
“You’re a b***h.”
“And you’re an a*****e. Get the f**k out.”
“What the f**k ever.” I left, I wasn’t listening to her bullshit any longer. The rest of the week f*****g sucked, I got hit with the flu the next day, and it incapacitated me. The following Tuesday, I took a drive to where they were holding national football tryouts. When I got there, I was met with disappointment.
“I’m sorry, tryouts are closed, you can maybe try another team, but you just missed it by a couple of days.” The guy said.
“What do you mean, I missed it?”
“Sorry, kid.”
“How much would it cost?”
“Huh?”
“How much to get me to get on the team?”
“Sorry, kid. You can’t buy your way onto the team.”
“Oh, come on, that’s bullshit and you know it.”
“You’re not rich enough to buy me off.”
“Fine, how much just to try out?”
“You just don’t get it, do you?”
“What the f**k is there to get? I give you money, you let me on the team.”
“You’re a rich, privileged kid, ain’t ya?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Just cause you’re rich doesn’t mean you have skill.”
“But I do, I used to play on my high school football team.”
“Ooh, big man, captain of the football team!” he says sarcastically.
“Me and my family have mad respect where I’m from.”
“Pfft, like that means anything.”
“Goddammit! Listen, you f*****g a*****e, let me on this f*****g team or else-“
“Or else what? You got goons, kid?”
“No, I’ll beat the s**t out of your old a*s myself.”
“I take hits from grown a*s men that are bigger than you, you really think you’re going to do damage?”
“I’ll knock you the f**k out.”
“Oh, man. You’re scary, kid. With your long hair, and varsity muscles. You’re such a pretty boy, I bet you wouldn’t last on this field.”
“Try me.”
“Fine. Martinez! Jones!” He calls a couple of players over. “You wanna try out? Give me twenty thousand right now and you can practice with these guys.”
“Just two guys?”
“Football players are expensive to hire, you’re getting a deal.”
“I don’t have twenty thousand dollars.”
“Sucks to be you then.” He shoos the players away.
“Why just two, though?”
“Because honestly, they’re my weakest players, so if you had any kind of chance, it’d be against them.”
“What the f**k do you take me for?”
“A pretty boy rich kid with a pipe dream… at least for now.”
“For now?”
“Yeah. You definitely have potential, but you look nowhere near what I’m looking for, sorry kid.”
“This is bullshit.”
“Like I told you, maybe in a few years. Did you even train for this?”
“No, I was sick last week.”
“What about before that? When was the last time you even worked out or ran or anything relating to football?”
“When the season ended.”
“Which was when?”
“December.”
“No wonder you look soft, you’ve spent a half a year being lazy.”
“What do I have to convince you to let me join the team?”
“Nothing, you ain’t getting on the team.”
“What if I come back with some money?”
“Aw, you’re gonna get some money from daddy?”
“So?”
“You’re just a rich kid with an ego complex who thinks he can just do whatever you want and get anything you want, am I right?”
“You don’t know s**t about me.”
“Know what? You’re right, I don’t know anything about you specifically, but I’ve met lots of people just like you, and none of them made it onto my teams either. I’ve been doing this for thirty years, kid. I’ve seen a lot of s**t, but you ain’t nothing new.”
“F**k you.”
“Ah, to be young again. I remember when I was a naïve little s**t like you.”
“Shut the hell up, you old f**k.”
“No respect for your elders, either huh? Pity. Each generation is just getting worse and worse.”
“You’re f*****g retarded.”
“You don’t know nearly enough as you think you do.”
“I’m Samson f*****g Alpha, b***h. I don’t need your approval.”
“That’s wrong for a couple of reasons: first, your whole, ‘first f*****g last name’ s**t is stupid, just stop it. Right now. Secondly, if you wanna get on this team, yes you do need my approval.”
“You’re a dick.”
“And you’re a little prick, so what?”
“You’re pissing me the f**k off!”
“Likewise, don’t make me have to get my players to kick you out.”
“Throw me out yourself, p***y.”
“I’m giving you one more chance to get out of here in one piece.” He stared at me for a few seconds.
“Fine, f**k you then.”
“Get out of here, kid. You’re too young, anyway. Go to college and play, and if a scout sees you, you might get your chance. Until then, just go home and stop chasing this pipe dream, will ya?” I was so pissed, but I took his advice and went to the state college.
“So how’s it look?”
“And you’re going to be studying what, exactly?” the dean asks.
“Just general studies. To be honest, I’m just here to play football.”
“Mhm, unfortunately your grades are atrocious. Even if we let you in, you obviously don’t know any of the required material. Says here, you had remedial classes.”
“So? It says I have straight A’s, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t match with your attendance record. Remedial or not, missing this many days of school would not give you perfect grades.”
“So?”
“How many of your grades were forged just so you could play football?”
“All of them.”
“So… you think it’ll be the same here? Just pay off the professors to pass you so you can play football?”
“That’s the idea.”
“So, what? You think you can just buy your way through life?”
“Duh! Money talks.”
“Indeed it does, but it also matters who’s listening.”
“Are you listening?”
“No, I am not.”
“Come on, let me in!”
“Based on what? What do you have to contribute?”
“My dad can make a hefty donation.”
“How hefty?”
“Fifty thousand.”
“That’s it?”
“How much are you asking?”
“At least five hundred thousand.”
“At LEAST?”
“You said money talks, big man. You gotta be willing to pay if you wanna play. Your petty cash won’t get into this school.”
“You’ve gotta be f*****g kidding me!”
“Not at all, I actually find it quite funny, actually.”
“Even with my honors and all? What about the scholarships?”
“They’re all fake, given to you out of pity. You didn’t really earn them, they just needed you to win football games so they could get money. That’s how schools run. Football games bring in the biggest revenue in your area, so they keep you winning so more people could show up and watch you win. These grades, awards, scholarships? They mean nothing.”
“But I was a great football player!”
“Not really, I looked at your record, it’s mediocre at best, you’ve only won a total of thirteen games in your four years, and only made it to the championship once, only to lose by a safety which you caused in the second game.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that we don’t really need you. Not nearly enough as you need us.”
“This is f*****g bullshit, man.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is.”
“Look, I’m going to level with you. I wanna play for the nationals, and my best bet is to play for a school first so I can get scouted.”
“What kind of pipe dream are you chasing there, boy?”
“There’s that f*****g phrase again.”
“Because that’s what it is. What you want requires connections and skill.”
“But if I play here long enough, I’ll get good enough to get drafted.”
“Perhaps, but you’re going to do more than just play football, you must take classes, you must pass your classes in order to stay eligible to play, and we’re not going to cut corners like public schools. No pass, no play is very strongly applied here.”
“That sounds like a lot of work, I don’t ‘do’ school. I just showed up to play football, beam nerds in dodgeball, and beat up scumbags.”
“And that’s what school consisted of for you?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“I think we’re done here.”
“So, what do I do to get ready for college?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Where do I get my books, supplies, when’s the first day?”
“You… you think you’re going to this school?” He starts to laugh. He actually found this hilarious.
“Yeah, that’s what this whole conversation was for.”
“Did you listen to a word I said?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you should know, you’re not accepted here. If you really wanna go to school so badly, go to your local community college. Sure, they don’t have a football team, but maybe you’ll do well in basketball.”
“I don’t wanna play f*****g basketball!”
“Well, it’s either community college or not this school, so take your pick.”
“You’re telling those are my only choices?”
“Did you try out for the nationals directly?”
“I missed the scouting week. The coach advised I try going through school instead.”
“Makes sense. Unfortunately, you possess neither the skill, the smarts, nor the financial capacity to come to this school. Even if you could pay your way in, you don’t know enough material to go through our classes. Combine that with the intense pressure it takes to represent the school and win games to add to our already illustrious history, you wouldn’t make it till the end of the season.”
“So, that’s what you think of me?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Alpha. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other appointments. You know, actual students who stand an actual chance of coming to this school. Students who worked their way through school to keep their grades up, students who took a million extra curriculars to be well rounded, students who actually deserve a spot in this school. I’m sorry, but this is goodbye.”
“Whatever.” I turned to leave, and then I remembered, “Wait, I’m mixed race, you definitely need that, right?”
“Nice try, but no. Goodbye.”
“Goddammit.” I knew what this meant. I had to go for my last resort, I wish it didn’t have to come to this… does it? I went home. “Hey dad.”
“What’s up, son?”
“Can I have some money?”
“How much?”
“Five hundred thousand.”
“Look, I know we’re rich, but that’s an ungodly amount. What do you need it for?”
“To get into school.”
“You need to pay half a mil to get into college? Since when?”
“Well, I mean, it’s more of a generous donation that you would make, and in exchange, I go to school there and play football and get scouted for the nationals in a couple years.”
“You’re just going to go to school just for football?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you going to study?”
“I was just going to go for general studies, I’ll probably pay some nerds to do my homework and s**t so I don’t have to work as hard to go through school.”
“Is that what you plan to do?”
“Yeah, of course. I don’t care about school, I just wanna play.”
“You’re just going to breeze through college like you did high school, is that what you’re saying?”
“Yeah, then I’ll get rich from football and just pay everyone.”
“My God, what have I done? My son is a spoiled brat and it’s all my fault.”
“Whatever, man.”
“You’ve gone through your whole life not doing any actual work for yourself. Everyone else has always taken care of it for you.”
“Yeah, it’s great.”
“And you’ve decided that’s how you’re going to live your life, is it?”
“Uh, yeah. Just like you.”
“No, see there’s a difference. Sure you weren’t alive for it, but there was a time when I myself was poor. I worked my a*s off to get where I am today. I had to take jobs I didn’t want, had to step on people I once cared about, countless hours of school, and even though we’re wealthy, we’re not millionaires. Almost, but not there. You need to learn that life ain’t as easy as you think it is.”
“I already know it’s not, these past couple of weeks have been horrible. My girlfriend left me, I missed the scouting for the national team, I’ve been rejected from college, and my two best friends are going to basic next week.”
“Oh? What branch?”
“Marines.”
“Why don’t you do it too? I think it’ll be good for you.”
“No, I told them it would only be a last resort if I signed up, besides, I could just chill here until they get back.”
“And be a freeloader? I don’t think so. Come on, we’re going.”
“Going? Going where?”
“To the recruitment office.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yep. Let’s go.”
“No.”
“Yes, I’m not having a freeloading rich kid living in my house, there’s already too many of those.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Get in the car.”
“Fine.” I got in the car and my dad drove me to the recruiting station. I filled out the forms while he watched. I didn’t have to take the ASVAB because my test was still valid from when I took it in high school. I got physically and mentally evaluated, all while my dad was present. He was hamming it up of course, signing autographs for fans. I think most of them took autographs and pictures was only because he’s famous, not cause their fans. I could tell who was who, I’ll probably end up in the tabloids and on social media, great. I hate when he takes advantage like that, he probably used me for his f*****g image. But he left and I stayed, I guess he was serious. Before I knew it, I was on the bus heading for the base where my basic training was taking place. When I got there, guess who was already in my unit? “Thank God you guys are here.” I said.
“Ya made it!” Leo says.
“I am excites you did it.” Johan says.
“Not my choice though.” I said.
“What do you mean?” Leo asked.
“I let it slip to my dad that this was my last resort and he made me sign up. Even stuck around for the process to make sure I didn’t f**k up on purpose, and you know, cause it’s good for his public image. ‘Look at me, I support our troops, and not a pedo who I’m still pen pals with’.” They laughed, the story is public knowledge anyway.
“Glad to have you around, buddy.” Leo says.
“Whatever.”
“Hey, look at this way, now we have a license to kill.”
“I might just fail basic training on purpose and get sent home.”
“I ams makes sure you won’t.” Johan said.
“What do you mean?”
“I ams saw you come off the bus outside so I call papa.”
“What?”
“He ams told me to make sure you do your best.”
“My dad put you in charge of me while I’m here?”
“Ja. I ams know how you am, Samson.”
“Why does everyone say that?”
“You’re pretty transparent, dude.” Leo says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“There’s no mystery to you. You let it be known who you are, what you do, why you do it, everyone sees right through you, dude.”
“That’s fucked.”
“Sorry, bro. It’s the truth.”
“Alright, maggots, lights out! Get your rest, you’re going to need it, it’ll be your last good nights sleep.” The drill sergeant says.
“But it’s only seven o’clock.” I told him.
“Oh, and what time would you like to go to sleep?”
“I don’t know, nine, ten?”
“Looks like we got ourselves a funny man. Ok, funny man, you see that chair over there?” He points.
“Yeah.”
“Grab your equipment, put on your backpack, and stand on the chair.”
“What?”
“Did I f*****g stutter?” I put on the backpack, grabbed my duffel bag, and stood on the chair. “Hold it over your head.”
“Ok.” I lifted up my bag. “Now what?”
“Now I’m going to sit here and watch you.”
“For how long?”
“Until I say. At no point do you put down your arms or you get an extra ten minutes. Fall asleep and it’s an extra hour. The rest of you, get to the barracks and in bed in the next thirty seconds or you’ll be joining funny man here.” The rest of the recruits immediately rush out.
“The name’s Samson by the way, Samson Alpha.”
“Oh yeah? I don’t like that name. From this day forward I’m calling you Maggot McPussypants.” The drill sergeant sits at a desk and watches tv while watching Samson with his peripheral vision, eating bags of chips from the drawer and drinking sodas from a mini fridge.
“Can I get some food when I’m done with this?”
“Oh, you want some food? Why didn’t you say so, Maggot McPussypants?” The drill sergeant throws individual chips at my face and walks over and throws an open can of soda in my face, getting me wet and sticky. “Bon appétit.” He had me stand there for four hours like that before he told me I could stop. That sucked.
“Can I go to bed now?”
“Oh, are you tired now, Maggot McPussypants?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, give me ten pushups.”
“But my arms hurt.”
“You’re right, better make it twenty.” I dropped and started doing pushups. “1,1,1,1,1,1,2,2,2,2,1,1,2,1,2,3…” He kept doing that the whole time, I’m pretty sure I did more than twenty, cause it was about another half hour before he finally reached twenty. “Get up.” I did. “I’m tired, go to bed.” Thank God. I finally fell asleep only to wake up at three am for P.T, in a thunderstorm in the mud. F**k, this is going to suck…