Part I: Origins Year -8

Part I: Origins

Year -8

November 19, 2000

Dear Diary:
Hi, everybody! My name is Sandra Zircon, I’m thirteen years old, and this is my first ever diary. So, let me tell you about myself. I was born November 19, 1987, and I’m half white and half Puerto Rican. It’s weird, two other boys in my class share the same birthday as me: Samson Alpha and Sydd Xero. Samson is cute but a jerk, and Sydd scares me. Anyway, I’ve lived in this darn city my whole life, and I kinda hate it here. My favorite color is red, and I have two sisters and a brother.
I’m the oldest daughter of my parents, Sonia and Maxx. Then there’s my younger sister Lizzie, my brother Randall, and my youngest sister Lana. I go to P.S 27, I sometimes volunteer at a nursing home where my mom works, and I live in Swampy Fields. It used to be a small town, but as people were moving in from other places, it got bigger and bigger and swallowed all the other small towns around it. Back to me, I have an invisible illness called epilepsy. It’s a neurological disorder that causes me to have seizures. The type of epilepsy I have is called grand mal epilepsy. My convulsions can last anywhere from a few minutes, to around ten, depending on the severity. I haven’t had one that’s lasted too long, thank God. Seizures are weird.
I’m never awake during them, but there’s certain sensations that feel weird before and after. For example, before it happens, I get a weird feeling a smell, which is called an ‘aura’. The feeling feels like there’s an invisible pressure all around you forcing your body to move down, and move your head up and to the side. It gets harder to breathe, too. Speaking of breathing, you smell, well, I can never really remember, but I always recognize it when I’m about to have one, and it’s some kind of musty smell.
When I come out of it, first my mind bridges the gap by first waking me up in darkness, then immediately to dreaming. When I finally wake up from my dream, I have a pounding headache, and it’s difficult to walk. What usually triggers my seizures are strobe lights mostly. Police lights can do it too if I don’t shield my eyes, I’m photosensitive. That doesn’t mean I still can’t go to concerts or have my picture taken, I just have to be careful. My target is the occipital lobe of my brain, which is in the back of my head, which is responsible for sight. I was diagnosed at the age of three months when I had my first one. My hobbies aside from taking my medicine include listening to music, reading, writing, video games, and other stuff like comics that other girls my age aren’t really into so I get made fun of a lot. I have a bunch of friends though: Michael, Francine, Edna, Catherine, Sally, Jim, Lois, Tricia, Charlie, and Kurt. Michael, Lois, and Charlie and sometimes Jim are the only ones I see out of school though, the other ones are my lunch crew.
I really don’t like school too much though, I get bullied all the time by these rich girls. They call me fat and beat me up. My friends stop them sometimes, but only if it’s not in front of a crowd. Otherwise, I get my butt kicked anyway. My main antagonist is this stuck up girl, Christy. She really hates me for some reason. She has her cronies Katarina and Maritza help her sometimes. They don’t even need to be together to pick on me either. I don’t know what it is about me that make people hate me. At least I know I’m not completely friendless. Oh well, I’m going to bed. I’m tired.

The next day, Sandra and her friends Michael, Charlie and Lois are walking home from school when they come across a dead body. Rob is running in the other direction away from the body, but not towards them. “Eew, a dead body!” Sandra, tall, light tan chunky girl with long curly hair and rectangle glasses, says.
“Gross, his face is wet and it looks like someone crapped in his mouth.” Michael, an average height, fat white guy with thick, round glasses, and short, brown hair says.
“I’m gonna go call the cops.”
“That’s a good idea.” Sandra runs to the nearest phone booth and calls the cops. After about ten or fifteen minutes or so, a cop car, the coroner, and a reporter show up. One of the cops walks up to the kids.
“Can you explain what happened here?” the cop asks.
“We were just coming home from school when we came across the body.”
“Mmhmm, anything else?” he jots down notes.
“Yeah, looks like somebody pooped in his mouth, maybe it was the killer.”
“We’ll find out- Johnson, get those other kids out of here.” Johnson shoos away Sydd, Rob, Marissa, Kelly, and Leon. “Ok, thanks kids. It’s probably another gang shooting, but we’ll try to solve it anyway. Now, uh, go home kids. Here’s the number of a therapist in case you need to talk to someone about this.”
“Um…thanks.” They head home.
“That was crazy, wasn’t it?” Lois, a skinny, white blonde girl asks.
“I guess. Michael says.
“How can you be so nonchalant about all this?” Sandra asks.
“I’ve been to a few funerals before, it’s not my first dead body up close.”
“I thought it was kinda cool.” Lois says.
“Yeah, I don’t know, I was creeped out a little bit.” Sandra says.

November 20, 2000

Dear Diary:
I saw a dead body today, it was disgusting. There were maggots on it and poop in his mouth. Ew, why would someone do that? So gross. I’m not really all that traumatized though, just thoroughly creeped out, I think I need a shower now, blecchh. This weekend I say goodbye to my best friend in the whole entire world, Charlie. Out of all my friends, I’ve known him the longest. He and his family are moving away and it stinks because I kinda have a huge crush on him, though I don’t think I could ever tell him. I hope it isn’t goodbye forever, though, I’ll really miss him. Oh well, I’m going to sleep now (If I can).

The next day, Sandra goes to school. “Charlie, Charlie! Wait up!” she says.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“Nothing, just wanna spend as much time with you as possible, you know, since it’s your last week and all.”
“Oh, hah, ok sure.”
“Good, so are you excited?”
“Kinda. Part of me wants to go, part of me wants to stay.”
“All of me wants you to stay.” She says quietly.
“What was that?”
“Well, I mean, since you’re my best friend and all.” She blushes.
“Oh yeah, don’t worry, we can still email each other and stay in touch.”
“Yeah, sure, sure.”
“Cheer up, I’m sure Michael will make a great best friend. You guys are awfully close.”
“But no matter how close we get, he can’t replace you.”
“I’m sure you’ll get over me.”
“It might take awhile.”
“Oh yeah? Like how long?”
“Forever.”
“Jeez, you sound like I’m dying or you’ll never see me again or something.”
“I just don’t want you to go, we’ve been together our whole lives.”
“It’ll be ok. It’s not the end of the world.” He smiles at her as he walks away to his next class.
“It is to me.” Sandra says to herself as the bell rings. She has a few classes, and then it’s lunch time and she sits with her friends.
“Ughh, this s**t is gross.” Sally, a short girl with medium length brown hair and hazel eyes says as she picks up a forkful of food.
“That’s why I pack my own food.” Tricia, a tall girl with glasses says.
“I think it tastes just fine.” Sandra says. She’s sitting in between Sally on one side and Francine on the other, who bangs her elbow with her fist. “OW!”
“Heh, heh, heh.” Francine laughs.
“Why do you do that every day?”
“Cause it’s funny to me.” Francine, a girl with long, black hair and a nose piercing, says.
“It hurts so bad.” She rubs her arm and puts it back on the table and continues eating. Francine punches her elbow on the table again. “Ouch! What the heck?” Francine laughs again. “Will you stop it?” They finish their lunch and the teachers tell the entire class not to go yet.
“This month’s Student of the Month award goes to…” the teacher says.
“Please let it be me, please let it be me.” Sandra says to herself.
“Carlos Santana!
“Oh, what? That’s bogus! I deserve it! I’ve gotten it for three straight years now!” She starts to cry.
“Take it out on Francine, she won’t care.” Sally says. Francine shrugs and nods.
“Ok.” So, Sandra starts punching Francine repeatedly in the elbow when a teacher comes by.
“Sandra, what are you doing?” She asks.
“Uh, what, uh nothing.” She says nervously.
“Four hours detention Saturday morning.”
“What? No! Please, no!” She starts crying.
“Oh well, s**t happens.” Sally says.

November 21, 2000

Dear Diary:
I am so majorly upset right now. I got my first detention ever. Well, there goes my perfect record. I am so mad at my friends right now, but madder at myself for listening. I can’t believe it. I’ve always wanted to be a model student. I get straight A’s, had gotten Student of the Month the last three years, and I wanted to make it all through school without getting in trouble. Now all of that is tarnished. I’m so mad, I want to swear, but I’m not going to because I don’t wanna get in trouble with my parents and get punished for it. I’m going to have to have a good explanation for why I have detention on Saturday, I’m probably going to get punished for that for sure. This stinks, cause I was gonna help Charlie and his family move, too. My whole life feels ruined now… I have this blotch on my permanent record forever. I’m not a bad kid, I’m not. This feels totally unfair. I should have gotten Student of the Month, not him, he’s a jerk. I shouldn’t get detention for hitting Francine once when she punches me in the arm every single day. This is really dumb and I hate it. Maybe I’ll sit by someone else tomorrow. I don’t know who I should be madder at, Sally or Francine? I’m going to go with Sally because she told me to do it. Guess I’d better go to sleep; my referral should be coming in the mail tomorrow. Ugh, goodnight.

The next day at lunch, Sandra is sitting by Michael, Charlie, Jim, Kurt, and Lois. “No lunch crew today?” Michael asks.
“No, they got me in trouble.” Sandra says.
“How did they do that?” Jim, a boy with short, light brown hair, green eyes, large round glasses, a comic book t-shirt with an open flannel asks.
“Well… oh, man this is gonna sound so stupid.”
“Tell us.”
“Sally told me to hit Francine because I was mad I didn’t get Student of the Month.”
“Wow, that really is dumb.” Lois says.
“Gee, thanks. That makes me feel soo much better.” Sandra says sarcastically as she rolls her eyes.
“What are you going to tell your parents?” Michael asks.
“I don’t know.”
“You better come up with a better excuse than that.”
“Yeah, I know. Oh, man I am gonna get in so much trouble for this.” After lunch, Sandra heads to the bathroom. She’s washing her hands when Katarina, a tall, skinny white girl with long, straight, dark brown hair comes in.
“Hey piggy.” She says.
“Shut up.”
“Make me.”
“Where’s your gang?”
“Um, I’m not in a gang.”
“Fine. Your crew.”
“In class, I’m cutting.”
“I’ll just tell on you.”
“You’re such a snitch, God! Since elementary school, you’ve been snitching, grow the hell up!”
“We’re thirteen!”
“Exactly, you’re a teenager, act like one.”
“But I believe in doing what’s right.”
“You’re such a prude.”
“So? When is it bad to be nice?”
“You won’t make any friends that way.”
“I have plenty of friends.”
“Yeah? Then why did you move your seat today?”
“I, uh, got into a fight with one of them.”
“No you didn’t. I saw you. She was just sitting there. You punched her for no reason.”
“I-I just-“
“Wanna fight me? Let’s go.” She moves towards Sandra.
“No, that’s ok.” Sandra starts to back away, and hits the wall.
“Let’s go.” She smacks Sandra across the face, then again, but Sandra shields it. Then, Katarina grabs Sandra by the hair, yanking her head back, sending her glasses flying and then smashes her face on the faucet, and tosses her to the floor. Katarina gives her a few kicks. “You’re a wuss. You couldn’t even fight back, I totally kicked your a*s.” Sandra is on the floor, crying. “You’re pathetic. Oh no, you’re going to tell on me now, aren’t you? Cause that’s what you’re good at, being a snitch.” She says condescendingly.
“No…” Sandra is still crying.
“Let’s go, pansy.” Katarina grabs Sandra, bleeding from her face, across the floor and to the toilet. She sticks her head in and flushes. “Drink it, b***h!” She laughs as she flushes over and over. I don’t even care if I get in trouble. Daddy will probably get me out of it anyway.” She pulls Sandra’s head out of the toilet and tosses her to the ground.
Sandra, in pain starts to crawl away as Katarina sits down. She grabs Sandra by the leg. “You’re not going anywhere.” She says as she uses the bathroom. She finishes with one hand while still holding Sandra with the other. She gets up and steps on her while she pulls up her pants. She grabs her by the hair and sticks her head back into the toilet, and Sandra thrashes wildly. She flushes and keeps her head down. When the toilet refreshes, she picks her head up. “I just flushed your head in my s**t and you still didn’t fight back. What’s wrong with you? Haha, I can’t wait to tell the girls. You think it’s hell now, just you wait. You’re ours until graduation, especially since we know you won’t fight back. You’re a pathetic loser, you fat piece of s**t.” She washes her hands. “Oh, and if you tell, we’ll just make it that much worse for you. We’ll find ways to embarrass you that you can’t even imagine.”
“Why do you hate me so much?”
“Cause snitches get stitches. Besides, why not?” She spits on her and walks out. Sandra lays there and cries. She gets up, and cleans her face up the best she can, sprays on perfume and goes to class. When she walks in, the whole class looks at her.
“Ms. Zircon, how good of you to join us.” The teacher says.
“Sorry.” Christy and Maritza whisper something to each other.
“Do you need to go to the nurse? What happened?”
“I-I-“She looks at the girls. “I tripped and fell in the bathroom.”
“Go get that cleaned up.”
“Yes ma’am.” She heads to the nurse. Later that day, Sandra heads home. Sonia stops her before she goes upstairs.
“I got the mail today and found this interesting little pink slip.” Sonia, Sandra’s mother, a tall, large Hispanic woman resembling Sandra with a Latina accent, says.
“What, uh, what does it say?”
“It says here: ‘Sandra Zircon was caught hitting Francine Lockheart repeatedly in the arm.”
“Um… yeah.” Sandra says sheepishly.
“Why?”
“Well, she hits me every day, so I got her back.”
“So it was self defense?”
“Yeah, yeah it was.”
“Is that where you got this?” She points to her face.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Alright, fine. Go do your homework.”
“Al-alright.” Sandra goes upstairs.

November 22, 2000

Dear Diary:
Thank God it was only a half day today. I got beat so badly at school today, it was the worst day ever, I feel like crying again. I had to lie to mom about what happened. It feels really bad to have had to lie about something like this, but I’ll get it that much worse if I do. But maybe Katarina was right, maybe I should stop tattling, maybe I am too old for it. I don’t know. Mom got my detention slip in the mail, I told her I got it in a fight, which is probably why she didn’t ask too much detail about what happened to my face. Ya know, I was so surprised I didn’t get in trouble for having detention. I thought for sure I’d get punished for it. Well, I kinda lied, but I kinda didn’t, I just omitted the motivation for it. Whatever, I stayed out of trouble so I’m just gonna let it go. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Charlie and his family are coming over. This will probably be our last one. I still kinda feel bad I used the fight with Katarina as the cover for why I hit Francine. Oh well, I should probably stop thinking about it. Gotta go ice my face.

The next day, Charlie and his family come over the house. “So glad you guys could make it.” Sonia says as Charlie’s family enters the house. Charlie splits off and finds Sandra in her room with Lizzie.
“Hey guys.” He says.
“Charlie! You’re here!” Sandra squeals.
“Are you ok?” Lizzie, Sandra’s sister, a small, skinny girl with long, black curly hair asks.
“Yeah, why?”
“Never mind.”
“So, what’s up, Charlie?”
“Almost completely ready to go.” Says Charlie, a short, Italian kid with short, black hair.
“Aww, that stinks.”
“What?”
“Um…”
“Sandra likes Charlie!” Lizzie singsongs.
“Shut up, no I don’t!”
“That’s not what you told mee… look, she’s wearing makeup and everything!”
“Shut up and get out of here! Sorry. So, I won’t be there as early as I promised. I have detention on Saturday.”
“Oh, that sucks.” Charlie says.
“Yeah, sorry, I won’t be able to come around until around noonish.”
“That’s fine, we’ll probably still need help around that time.”
“Oh, ok.”
“What happened to your face? It looks… messy.”
“Oh, I got into a fight with Katarina.” She says quietly as she turns around, embarrassed.
“Really? What happened?”
“She, uh, smacked my face off the sink and kicked me.”
“What a b***h. You should really tell someone.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“She told me she’ll make it worse for me if I do, I’m just gonna stop snitching on people, it brings me nothing but trouble.”
“Yeah? This looks bad though.”
“It’s fine.”
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“No, because she’ll just make it worse for me.”
“Whatever, it’s your choice, but I still think you should tell somebody.”
“Look, can we talk about something else? Between this conversation and you leaving, I’m really upset.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know, something happy.”
“Um, I don’t know, I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, you’re here, that’s enough.”
“Oh really? Sounds like you do like me.”
“Maybe just a little bit.”
“It’s ok, I kinda like you a little bit too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure, why not? You’re awesome and you’re cute too.”
“I was so afraid to tell you this whole time. This is so unfair, you’re leaving!”
“I’m sorry, maybe it’ll happen one day when we’re older, maybe we’ll meet up one day and give it a shot. It’s too late right now, but the future is still there.” A solitary tear rolls down Sandra’s cheek. He leans over and gives her a kiss on the lips and they hold it for a few seconds.
“That was my first kiss.”
“Mine too.” He smiles at her. “C’mon, let’s go eat some food and enjoy our time together.” They go back downstairs.

November 23, 2000

Dear Diary:
Despite the fact Charlie’s leaving in two days, it was actually a really good day. I got my first kiss today, and it was from Charlie. It’s so exciting. I’m so happy, because I’ve always wanted my first kiss to be from him. I know it probably sounds silly, but not to me. To me, he’s always held a special place in my heart and he always will. Gosh, I’m crying right now, and it makes his leaving that much more painful.
I’m such a wreck right now, I don’t know how to handle this, I’m going to miss him so much. He didn’t even move yet and I already miss him. I feel like such an idiot, cause he’s my best friend and all, I feel like I’m overreacting. I don’t know, I really don’t. I think I actually do love him, this hurts so bad. But I’ve never actually felt what love was. Sure I love my parents and siblings, but this is completely different. I feel a way for Charlie I’ve never felt before. I’m so confused. Anyway, I’m about to pass out, this turkey’s really getting to me. Good night.

Two days later, Sandra is sitting in detention, doodling. The teacher calls the time up. Sandra and the rest of the kids leave. She hurries to Charlie’s house where they’re finishing up. “Oh no, I missed it.” She says.
“Hey Sandy.” Charlie says.
“I can’t believe I missed the whole thing. How soon are you guys gonna leave?”
“Maybe in about a half hour.” She starts to cry a little.
“I feel so stupid getting detention today of all days. Maybe I should’ve skipped it.”
“Well then, you would’ve been in extra trouble.”
“It would’ve been worth it, you’re going away forever and we don’t have much time left.”
“It’s not forever.” He laughs.
“Who knows? Maybe it is.”
“I promise it’s not.”
“I’ll make sure to talk to you every single day.”
“So will I.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Ok, you’re getting a little overemotional.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” He hugs her and she cries. His dad calls him to get ready.
“Coming, dad!” He looks at her. “This is it, I gotta go.”
“Can I have one for the road?”
“One what?”
“A kiss.”
“Oh.” He’s taken aback. “Um, know what? Yeah, why not?” He leans in and kisses her. “Now, just live your life, find yourself someone nice. You’re a special girl, Sandra. Whoever you end up with will be lucky to have you.”
“You really think so?” She smiles as she continues to cry.
“I know so, after all, you’re my bestest friend.”
“Charlie!” His dad calls.
“I gotta go, see ya.” He rushes to the truck.
“Bye!” She calls. “I love you so much.” She whispers to herself as she turns around and starts walking home, crying.

November 25, 2000

Dear Diary:
Well, that was it. I spent a whole twenty minutes with Charlie, that’s all I got. I’m so angry and upset that it was so short. I can’t believe he’s gone. I don’t even wanna go to school on Monday because he won’t be there. I don’t know how I’ll go on without him, we’ve literally been together since the day I was born. He’s fifty days older than me, but still. Our parents are such good friends, it makes me wonder why they’d go, or at least why we wouldn’t follow them. This is really heartbreaking to me. Out of all my friends, he’s my favorite. Michael and Lois are a very close second, but Charlie always has been, and always will be, my favorite. Maybe I’ll get Michael and Lois to come over and hang out. I feel so alone right now. This really stinks, I can’t believe this is really happening.
Michael and Lois come over the house. “Glad you guys could come.” Sandra says.
“What’s the matter?” Michael asks.
“Charlie’s gone.”
“Oh, I know how close you and him were… did you have a crush on him or something? Why are you so upset?”
“Because I… kinda did.”
“Ohh, it’s ok though, I’m here, we’re here.”
“Yeah, come on, let’s go ride bikes or something.” Lois says.
“I don’t know.” Sandra says.
“Well, if you need me, I’ll be downtown at the arcade.”
“I’ll stay.” Michael says.
“Thanks.” Sandra says.
“And unlike Charlie, I mean it.”
“Excuse me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, Michael, Charlie is my oldest friend, don’t even try to think you’re better than him just because you didn’t move.”
“I’m just saying, you don’t see ME leaving you.”
“But it wasn’t his choice!”
“So?”
“So? So??? Get out of my sight, Michael.”
“Fine!” “B***h.” He mutters under his breath.
“What was that?”
“I didn’t say anything.”

November 26, 2000

Dear Diary:
Wow, is Michael really serious? How does he think he can just come out with that crap? I really wanted to hit him because of his attitude, does he think he’s better than Charlie? Really? He doesn’t even come close. I’m pretty sure he mumbled something under his breath, and I bet it wasn’t nice. Whatever, I told him to leave, he was annoying me by insulting Charlie.
I miss Charlie so much, and it’s only been a day. This is so hard for me, it doesn’t feel like I’ll ever get over it. So much potential and missed opportunities, I don’t know how I can deal with all this, it drives me crazy. All I wanna do is cry all the time, but I keep up appearances, act like it’s all good, then when bedtime comes, I cry myself to sleep. I know he only left yesterday, but I’ve been crying every night about it since I found out, and even harder last night now that he left for good. It’s real, and that’s something I’m having a hard time grabbing on to. I got his email today during my computer time, and I cried at the desk.
Mom asked me what was wrong, and I told her I missed Charlie and she told me it’s hard when your friends move, but that’s what emails, letters, and phones are for. She told me I can call him tonight if I want, and I think I will, I wanna hear his voice again. Anyway, Michael was being an a*s, and Lois was completely useless, she left as soon as she got there, but I don’t really blame her, she went to the arcade. After Michael left, I followed Lois to the arcade and played some Changed Animal and Insane Cabbie. I stink at Insane Cabbie cause I’m not too good with the steering wheel, pedals, and shifter but it’s so much fun, too bad it’s not on a video game platform, maybe it’d be easier with a controller. Lois was nice enough to give me a few bucks in quarters, she said beating up and killing ninjas in Lyving Fite would be fun, and she was right. I actually beat her twice, but I’m not sure if she let me win or not. When I finally came home, I did feel a little better, so I guess I should’ve just went with her instead of dealing with Michael’s stupidity. Oh well, I’ll stay mad at him for a couple days so he knows what he’s done. I wonder what Charlie’s up to? I wish I could just go over his house, that’s what I would normally do when I usually ask myself this question. Well, I’ve gotta go, my mom’s calling me for dinner. Then, I’ll do my chores, and I’ll finally be able to call Charlie, so, later.

Reviews

[SweetNutmeg]

I really enjoyed this. You grasp teenage life very well. The structure is interesting, alternating between third person and the diary. I am curious... is there any reason there is no line break between the diary passages and the third person passages? I would put a line break in there, myself, but it works without it too. Just curious if you were going for a certain effect. Thanks for posting this.

[Scorpious Alpha]

Thank you so much! Yes, I know there are no line breaks, because I didn't feel the need. I felt it was obvious enough that they were separate since they don't run together. I appreciate your review and hope you enjoy the rest of my work! It's all tied together...