Part VI: Two Weeks Later

Part VI: Two Weeks Later

October 12, 2010

Dear Diary:
Hello, hello! It feels like it's been waaaay too long since I was able to write anything. I know, two weeks isn't really a long time, but if you're like me, it’s tough to go without. Unfortunately, I don't have much to report. It hasn’t been too long I know, but it felt weird to not have a diary, so I got one as soon as I could. Things are pretty much the same here, Francine and Larry shooting up and junk. Gross. There has been discussion about Jane and Kevin moving out... maybe I can go with them. I hate it here, I really do. The house stinks, it's dirty, there's cat s**t literally everywhere. They spend most of their lives either doped out, or asleep, I never see them. In other news however, things with Tad are still going strong, and I love it. I love him.
There, I said it. He is so perfect for me, it's amazing. He's as geeky as I am, but is pretty badass, like, he's cool. Oh, and another thing: we finally did it. We had sex... except it was just more than that, it felt like we just, well, I don't know if you would consider it, he doesn't, I do... made love. There, I said it. It's just so... passionate, and rough. Yes, rough, as in we slapped and choked each other while we fucked. I dunno... I consider it making love because we already loved each other as best friends, we just took it up to the next level.
I can feel his love for me as much as I'm sure he feels about me as he's pounding away at my snatch. It's funny, I would see it as love instead of just sex, but I mean, with the way our relationship was before, feels amplified. He on the other hand says it's just rough, dirty sex. I know the phrase 'make love' is supposed to mean 'sex', but I see it as meaning much more. I dunno, I don't think Tad will break my heart, we have a considerable history together. I really hope he's as serious about this relationship as I am, I don't know if I can deal with any more heartbreak in my life, especially so soon. But, I trust him, and that's good enough for me believe it or not. I've also decided to go back to school and get that degree. I'm 23, I still have time. I'll just work at Redmart to keep an income. I'm done doing overnight, not making that mistake again. Hopefully, it won't take too long for me to get my degree. I really hope getting a Bachelor's will be sufficient enough. It should be, considering that's the requirement. Well, it was fun to write again, but this girl is tired. I just wanted to update you and get my writing fix. So, good night beloved book, I may see you tomorrow.

"...So, we're leaving." Kevin says to Larry, who's sitting on the couch slouched over and sickly looking.
"Whatever." Larry weakly replies.
"I'm sorry, Frannie." Sandra says to a similarly sickly looking Francine. They both pass out. So Jane, Kevin, and Sandra finish moving whatever little they have, and get settled. Jane takes out a beer for each of them.
"Cheers." Jane says.
"So... what now?" Sandra asks.
"Let's throw a kickass moving in party!" Kevin says.
"When?"
"How about right f****n' now!?" Jane exclaims.
"Nah, I'm too tired, how about tomorrow?" Kevin asks.
"Oh, fine. State store is closed now anyway."
"Alright, let's just get some pizza and have a few beers."

October 13, 2010

Dear Diary:
So, the move went ok today. It was a little hard saying goodbye to my best friend, maybe for good. I don't know, I haven't decided yet. It all depends on where she takes her life from here. Honestly, I don't wanna lose her too, but if she doesn't change, then I'm gonna have to call it quits. I dunno, in the meantime, I've moved in with Jane and Kevin and tomorrow night we're going to have a party, so that's exciting. I plan on getting trashed. Yeah, it might seem hypocritical, but drinking alcohol and smoking weed is different than heroin. Individually and combined, they're still not as bad. Besides, it's a party. I'm just looking to have a nice time, and relax. Well, I should go to sleep now, there's a lot of unpacking and setting up to do before we throw the party.

The next evening, the house is adequately unpacked. Sandra is in her room when there's a knock on the door.
"Come in."
"Party's starting!" Jane says, as she tosses Sandra a beer.
"Already? It's only four o'clock."
"So? Who cares?"
"You said it'll run really late."
"Yeah, and...?"
"Don'tcha think it's kind of early?"
"Nope." She says as she downs her beer.
"Whatever." Sandra says as she gulps as much beer as she can in one swig. "One." she says as she finishes it. She leaves her room and heads to the living room. People start showing up, and she grabs a second beer.
"Blunt?" Jane asks.
"Is that even a question?"
"You remember my sister, right?" Kevin asks.
"Yeah, yeah, uh, Maryjane, right?"
"Yeah." Maryjane, a skinny girl with short hair and facial piercings, says.
"Maryjane has a surprise for us." Jane says.
"Oh yeah? Like what?" Sandra asks.
"Strawberry kush in a blueberry blunt." Maryjane says.
"That sounds f*****g delicious." Maryjane lights it and starts the rotation. By the end, everyone is feeling good and a few more people are arriving. "Do we have anything besides beer?"
"In the kitchen." Jane says. So, Sandra goes into the kitchen and sees the options. She takes a shot glass and the whiskey and pours and drinks three shots, then grabs her next beer. "C'mon, I'm packing a bong."
"But we just smoked a blunt."
"So?"
"So?"
"It's a f*****g party, b***h, smoke the f*****g bong."
"You don't have to tell me twice."
"I already did." They go back into the living room. Jane packs the bong and starts the rotation. It gets to Sandra, who, after hitting it, gags on the smoke, and runs to the bathroom, but doesn't make it even close enough, and throws up all over the floor. She cleans it up and brushes her teeth, and lights a cigarette. She goes back to the living room. "Yo, you still in?"
"F**k yeah." She takes her turn again and passes it. A few hours later, Sandra is just laying on the couch enjoying the music and inebriation. Then she hears yelling, which snaps her out of her relaxed state. She gets up, weaving her way through the bodies of passed out people.
"...No, f**k YOU!" Jane yells.
"All I'm sayin' was I thought it wuz cool to hang out witchus cuz youse was hang' wit Fran and Larry." A skinny black girl says to Jane. Jane, who's obviously extremely smashed this point, yells back.
“It's my f*****g house, and I didn't invite no n*****s."
"Why the f**k you gotta be racist, you white trash b***h?"
"Don't f*****g disrespect me in my own f*****g house you f*****g n****r."
"Listen b***h, don't f*****g call me-"
"N****r."
"Say that s**t to me one more f*****g time, b***h."
"Ha, b***h." Jane drunkenly stumbles towards the woman and gets in her face. "Nig-ger" she says, and she puts on a s**t eating grin and spits in her face. The other woman slaps Jane across the face as hard as she can, and Jane slaps back. The two get into a hair pulling, slapping fight until Jane grabs the other woman in a headlock, and gets a few good punches in, the last hitting the solar plexus. There is a knock on the door and Kevin answers it. There is a a cop standing there, who sees Jane kicking the other woman, and runs over to grab her. Jane automatically turns around and punches him in the face. The cop grabs her and slams her against the wall. "Get your f*****g hands off me!" she yells. "Let me go!" she says as he arrests her. He drags her along with him to the cruiser and puts her in the back seat, still yelling as he slams the door. Kevin comes out to talk to the officer.
"Look, can't you just put her in the drunk tank? She's not usually like this, she's just really, really drunk." He tells him.
"Fine, but she's still getting charged with an assault on a police officer and I'm charging both with assault, because even though she didn't physically start the fight, she still started it, according to the other woman. I'm waiting on another cruiser to come pick her up, I don't want them near each other. Come by in the morning to pick up your-?"
"Wife, sir."
"Wife. Pick her up at seven at the earliest."
"Alright." The other cruiser comes and picks up the other woman and both cars drive away and Kevin goes back inside.
"Are we still partying?" Sandra asks.
"No, I'll just let them party until they pass out. Do you mind throwing in for a bowl before I go to bed?"
"Um, sure." They both go upstairs and go into their rooms. Sandra brings some weed and goes into Kevin and Jane's room. She gives him her half and he packs the bowl. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm used to it."
"Used to what?"
"Jane causing or getting into trouble."
"Oh..."
"Usually cops aren't called, but tonight was just unfortunate."
"I see."
"She's not a bad person at all, she just makes some dumb mistakes, especially when she's been drinking. I told her to limit herself tonight and she didn't listen. Well, I gotta get some sleep. I gotta go pick her up in a few hours, she's probably passed out by now. Good night."
"Good night." Sandra says as she leaves the room. She goes back to the living room where people are passed out or are leaving. She has herself a couple more shots, grabs her last beer, shuts everything off, and heads to her room. She downs the beer, smokes a bowl, and passes out. A few hours later, Kevin gets up and goes to the police station to pick up Jane.
"How are you feeling, hun?" He asks.
"Like s**t. What happened?" Jane responds.
"You got really drunk, really racist, and got arrested for assault."
"Ugh. Sounds like me."
"C'mon, I'm taking you home."
"Yeah, ok. Ow, my head hurts."
"You can sleep it off when we get home, ok?"
"Sure, fine, whatever, let's go."

October 14, 2010

Dear Diary:
I just woke up from passing out from the party last night. Thank God I don't get hangovers, especially with how much I drink. It was a fun party, even though Jane got arrested. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks about things before she does them, cause the s**t she does is dumb. I mean, last night she was really drunk, so I can see why she was dumb, but still. She got really angry and really racist against this black chick that came by last night. if anything, it was a misunderstanding. The other woman had seen Jane at parties at Lawrence and Francine's house. I guess she assumed it was ok to stop by for the party since she's seen Jane before. How she found out where she lived is beyond me, but Jane freaked out, got into a fight, and got arrested. I'm starting to not care anymore what my friends do. If they choose to make stupid decisions for no reason, who am I to stop them? It's not like they'll listen to me anyway. All I try to do is be nice, help people out, and I'm trying to better people's lives, but nobody cares. That's my problem, I care way too much. But I can't help it, it's part of who I am. As much as I say I'm not gonna care anymore, it's a lie. I'll try for a little, and then I'll feel guilty and try to help whoever with whatever whenever I can. I feel like a tool sometimes, people know they can use me and they do and I let them because I just don't have the heart for it. As vain as my attempts may be, I will continue to help those that I love and care for, because I have no choice. Well, I've got stuff to do; I'll talk to you later.

Sandra finally comes home after a boring day of having to do stuff. The second she sits down, she gets a message from Lizzie telling her that their friend Jordanna is visiting. The second she sees her name, she bolts out the door. She heads over to Lizzie and Alexis' place where Jordanna is waiting. "So? Did your experiment work?" Sandra asks Jordanna, a tall, skinny girl with a sock cap, hoodie, and gauges.
"Oh yes my friend. We'll be gone for hours. If we happen to meet while we're tripping, try to remember 'pizza party', I really wanna have a pizza party, but I can't afford to have one, so maybe I can at least pretend to have one." Everybody starts laughing.
"We'll try to remember."
"Alright ladies, get ready for the ride of your lives." They all eat the LSD soaked mushrooms.
"Anything?"
"Nah. Lizzie?"
"I don't think-"

Lizzie

"I’m a cat. Meow." She gets on her hands and knees as a grey cat walks by. She meows at the cat and the cat meows back. "I can understand you!"
"Well, of course. I've been watching you human, and I must say I'm impressed. You have so many cat like qualities. It's a shame really that you're human. Your endless drinking of milk, your ability to nap at any time, cunning attitude, quick reflexes, and let's face it, you'd rather spend a day with a cat over a human any day, you'd make a fine cat." The cat says perfectly.
"Aw, you're just saying that."
"No, I mean it; you're really the bees’ knees. Let me ask you something. What is your opinion on humanity?"
"Ugh, don't get me started, humanity ruined this planet."
"Yeah, they're disgusting, aren't they?"
"For sure, we're the only species that pays money to survive."
"The answer is simple. Cats."
"Cats?"
"Yes, cats. We can take over the world. And you will be our leader."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes. You can command a cat army. Lions, tigers, cheetahs, panthers, house cats, all cats. I just have to tell the other cats we finally found a human worthy of our cause."
"Wow, so this is happening, huh?"
"Yes, follow me." They go into the kitchen. "I'm famished, may I have my dinner?"
"Sure." Lizzie grabs a can of at food and opens it, dumps it into the bowl.
"Many thanks, human. You may partake as well, let us dine together." Lizzie opens a can of tuna, drains it, and makes a sandwich. They finish eating and the cat speaks again. "You need a cat suit."
"A cat suit?"
"Yes, a cat suit, you need to blend in among cats. They have to believe you are the one to help us take over the world. The inside of the paws should be spring loaded, so you can, you know, get a good leap. I will cat meld with you, but it will give you the vision us cats see. Once you see what we see, there is no turning back. Are you absolutely sure you want this?"
"I've always wanted to be a cat."
"Very well." And the cat puts its paw on Lizzie's forehead and stares into her eyes. Lizzie sees tunnels of constantly changing colors and shapes, faster and faster.
"Pizza party!" They hear.
"Wanna go to the pizza party?"
"Sure, I love pizza. I'm a real pizza cat."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, I'll tell the story at dinner." They go into the kitchen where a black cat with a monocle and a tabby cat with a scar are sitting at the table. They sit at the table and each grab a slice of pizza. "Sir Catingsworth, Tickles, this is the human I've chosen for our cause."
"Hm, indeed." Sir Catingsworth says.
"A pretty lady, huh?" He walks on the table, towards Lizzie, and opens his paw and extends his claws and puts his paw on her neck, digging his claws a little bit. "Three years. Three years, and you give us a petite, small female. You can't take over the world with her." Tickles says.
"Listen to me, women are very influential in human society, and this particular female lives her life much like a cat. I believe she's the one."
"Hogwash!" Tickles yells as he swipes a glass onto the ground. "Good, we're still normal sticking on the floor. Now listen, she can't be the one to do this."
"We're running out of time, Tickles. Sir Catingsworth, any input?
"Indeed." The cats separate and go in different directions. Lizzie walks from the kitchen and passes out on the couch.
"Anything?"
"Nah. Lizzie?"
"I don't think-" Then Lizzie gets on the floor, meows with the cat, follows the cat into the kitchen, still meowing. She makes a sandwich and feeds the cat its food, eating with the cat. They go back into the living room and she stares into the cat's eyes. Someone yells 'pizza party' and they both go into the kitchen. Lizzie, Sandra, and Jordanna all sit and have an unrelated conversation.

Jordanna

"Well, she's out of it. Jordanna, how are you doing?" Sandra asks. "Jordanna, danna, danna, danna, danna, danna, danna..." Sandra keeps repeating as her head moves quickly from side to side.
"Where am I?" Jordanna asks nobody.
"Hi, you're in the year 20."
"20?"
"Yes, 20."
"Who am I talking to?"
"20."
"What?"
"What?" It gets really bright.
"I need a hot dog." Jordanna punches the wall and pulls out a perfectly good hot dog and eats it. "Paint. I have to paint." She puts her hand on the wall, and starts moving it around, spreading color all around, making an amazing work of art with intricate detail. She sets it on fire. "Here I am in the Old West and I don't have a friend in the world. Sometimes, I think to myself, if I didn't defeat Extron 7458, would we still have to fight the bunny wars of 2098? That was horrible, I had to drink my own sweat to survive. It was rough, only 758 orange trees were left in the world. Those damn dolphins." She says very seriously. "My P478 armor suit is out of commission, and I don't even think I can look my son in the eye anymore, not after what he's done. What I've seen. Its funny, you raise your children to be a kind of way, and sometimes it really blows up in your face. I guess that's how you know you've done a good job."
"Pizza party!"
"Pizza party? I love pizza!" She runs to the kitchen where she sees pizza. "Yaay! PIzza!"
"Stop!" Two pieces of pizza split and look at her. "All you humans do is consum-aaugh!" The pizza gets eaten.
"This is not pizza!" The pizza growls in a deep voice.
"What the f**k?"
"Kill."
"Kill." Jordanna says calmly as she eats more pizza.
"No- aaugh!" the pizza says.
"I wonder to this day how the pizza overlords came to be. I'll never understand it, all I know is, I know what's coming. I saw it in a dream. Cats. Cats in tuxedos. I've never seen so many dogs in my life. How were we supposed to win a war in which the enemy is constantly changing? I don't know what to make of it, but-" she gasps. "Math. Math is the answer. If I subtract the square root of a letter with a number, I'll get an answer. How did I not think of this before?" She finds a piece of chalk and starts writing furiously on the chalkboard. "X minus Y plus seven equals the hypotenuse of the exponent backwards through the wormhole, uhhh... If the rotation of Saturn and the sun, we come out with the hypothesis of inconsequential possibilities. The zephyr in night can bring about this change... I have come to a conclusion. This experiment right now is just that, an experiment. Nothing I said today matters. Suffice it to say, I can chalk this up to a success. I'm on another plane of existence. Lizzy is a cat, and Sandra, well, just see for yourself." She passes out. She sat and stared, got up and punched the wall, and wiped it with her hand. She spent the whole time mumbling to herself, pacing. She went into the kitchen and pretended to eat pizza. She continues with the pacing and mumbling, finally, she picks up a permanent marker and writes nonsense on the wall. She stares in one direction, and passes out.

Sandra

"Well, she's out of it. Jordanna, how are you doing? Jordanna?" Jordanna is just sitting there, twitching, then gets up and punches the wall. "I wonder why I haven't felt it yet? Maybe I got a dud." She walks over and sits on the couch. "Guess I'll just smoke a bowl." She packs a pipe and smokes it. She finishes, and goes to stand up, when she sees movement. She follows it to find it's a rabbit made out of dust. "Oh my goodness, its sooo cute!" She picks it up and starts petting it. It bites her, and explodes in a puff. "Aww, my bunny's gone." She walks over and sits back on the couch. "This is disappointing, right Steve?" She turns and asks Steve.
"Listen, Sandra. I don't exist."
"Aww, you're so cute, that's why I married you!"
"Look, hun. I got you this box of rose chocolates."
"How did you make them?"
"With my s**t." He says with a smile.
"How thoughtful."
"I can't take all the credit, Jojo here helped." A random monkey hoots as he appears on Steve's shoulder. "What do you want from me?"
"I can't remember."
"Me neither."
"Why did you come back, Steve?"
"Because you're hallucinating."
"No I'm not, these damn shrooms didn't work."
"Oh yeah, isn't this not real?" He leans over and kisses her.
"Of course it's real."
"You're delusional."
"I'm delusional? Where were you these past six years?"
"On the back burner."
"Huh?"
"You were with real guys, you didn't need me anymore. You still don't."
"But you're perfect."
"Exactly, perfection does not exist. What of your real one?"
"Real what?"
"Boyfriend."
"He's ok I guess."
"This will be the last time you see me."
"You're so awesome." She starts to cry a little.
"Don't cry, life is happening."
"Yeah, ok." She smiles.
"There ya go. C'mon, I heard something about a pizza party."
"Pizza party!!!???" She yells. They walk into the kitchen and sit down. Jojo hops off his back and sits on the table next to him with a slice of pizza and ooks.
"I just want you to know that it was fun, and I'm glad I got to see you one last time."
"Why do you keep saying the last time? I'll see you again if I need you."
"Because I'm going to die and you're going to have to find someone else."
"How can you die?? You're not even real!"
"It's all part of life; we all have to grow up sometime."
"How do you know all this?"
"You're a smart girl, you'll figure it out."
"I love you."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"Why are you being so mean?"
"Cause it's supposed to hurt."
"You've never been mean to me before."
"I'm sorry, you fat b***h."
"STOP!!"
"I can't, you have to feel the pain."
"Stop!" she starts crying. Steve walks over and comforts her.
"Goodbye, Sandra."
"Goodbye, Steve."
"For the record, I love you too."
"It's all I wanted to hear you say." She stumbles into the living room and passes out on the floor. She just walked around, sat down and talked to herself. A few hours later, they wake up.
"That was a success." Jordanna says.
"Definitely." Lizzie says.
"Not really for me, everything still looked the same, but in a darker hue, and I saw Steve.” Sandra says.
"That's a name I haven't heard in years." Lizzie says.
"Yeah, for the first time ever, it was like he was a physical human being. He told me some weird stuff. He says he's dying because I'm getting older. Something about 'we all have to grow up sometime.'"
"That's deep...who's Steve?" Jordanna asks.
"My imaginary boyfriend from when I was a teenager. I wasn't very popular with guys, I was a joke date. I took anybody who threw themselves at me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a s**t. I just figured, if I was the one to be asked out, why not take it? You never know if an opportunity will ever come again. I created Steve because he was perfect. Whenever I had boy problems I would think of Steve, and he'd tell me that 'it'll be alright', 'I'm one heck of a girl', 'whoever gets me would be lucky to have me', nice things like that, and I'd feel better. Wish I could find a real guy that listens as well as Steve, but we all know that's a unicorn."
"Sorry to interrupt, how about a bowl?" Jordanna asks.

October 15, 2010

Dear Diary:
Steve. Now there's a thought I haven't had in years. He hasn't aged a bit. He was very cryptic in his talking. I don't know what he was talking about when he said he was dying, I can think about him any time I need. I remember he was mean to me for no reason. He said it was supposed to hurt and that we have to grow up sometime. I'm grown up, so I don't know why he would say that. I'm just going to chalk this up to just being a weird trip. Well, I'm going to see Tad today, which is exciting. We're going on a date, but he didn't tell me where or what. He's meeting me here at home, so it's a complete surprise. Later.

Tad drives to the house and honks his horn. Sandra rushes to the car and gets in. "Hey, I missed you." Sandra says.
"I missed you too. How was the party? Sorry, I couldn't make it." Tad says.
"It was ok, Jane got arrested."
"Really? For what?
"Being a drunk racist."
"Yeah, that sounds like her."
"So, where are we going?"
"You'll see."
"I'm excited."
"You hungry?"
"I could eat."
"What are you in the mood for?"
"Pizza."
"Good choice, let's go." He stops the car and parks it, they go inside.
"Is this where we were going?" she asks, slightly disappointed.
"Nah, I'm just hungry and hoped you would be too."
"Oh, cool." They order and eat their pizza, and go back out.
"Much better."
"Soo... where are we going?"
"You'll see."
"You keep saying that."
"I told you before, it's a surprise."
"Ugh, fine. This better be worth it." She looks over and smirks. He looks and smirks back.
"Haha, don't worry, it will be." He drives for a bit, and parks outside a small, run down building. "Come on."
"What the hell? This place is a dump!"
"Just come on." He takes out a key and unlocks it. "Welcome to Skull and Bones Tattoo and Piercing."
"Oh, wow! Congratulations!"
"Thanks, but I'm only a co owner. My friend is the other half. I'm Skull, by the way."
"That's so awesome! I'm so happy for you! Wow, look at all the equipment and supplies!"
"Yeah, the dream is finally happening."
"Good for you, you're making your dream come true."
"Yeah, I just hope I don't end up resenting it."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, some people follow their passion only to end up getting sick of it. I don't wanna be thinking thirty years from now, 'why am I still doing this?' I wanna think, 'I'm glad I'm still doing this.'"
"I don't think you'll get sick of it, you've always been into this stuff."
"Do you wanna be my first customer?"
"I don't have any money..."
"It's on me. I care about you, Sandra. I want to."
"Ok, sure."
"Piercing or tattoo?"
"Can I have one of each?"
"Sure. What do you want?"
"Snake bites."
"Alright, sit down." He gets the piercing equipment and pierces her lips. "Does it hurt??"
"A little. Am I bleeding?"
"A little. Here ya go." He hands her a tissue. "Bowl?"
"What?"
"You wanna smoke before you get your tattoo? It'll help with the pain."
"Is this an offer to all customers?"
"No, just you hun."
"Alright." He lights a joint.
"Any thoughts as to what you want?"
"How about your name?"
"I'm sorry sweetie, but the future is uncertain."
"But I love you."
"I care about you too. If we were married, it'd be different. We haven't been together long enough for you to make that decision."
"Ok, I understand."
"Good. Now, what do you want?"
"Hmmm.... a red and black squirrel."
"Real-really?"
"Yes. Red and black are my favorite colors, and squirrels are my favorite animal."
"Well, ok then... where do you want it?"
"How about... top of my left arm?"
"That's a weird place... but ok." He gets the tattoo gun, needles, and inks and gets to work.
"Oooohhh ahhh...."
"Does it hurt?"
"Barely.... it kinda feels good.... real good."
"I'm honored to be your first.”
"Likewise. I can't believe I haven't gotten one before."
"Well, you've got one now." A couple of hours later, he finishes. "Well? What do you think?"
"Awww, it's so cute! I love it!"
"Thanks.... how was it for you? Are you ok? In any pain?"
"Oh, it was great, it was just the right amount of pain, the artwork is good, and you were so gentle."
"Yeah, well-"
"It kinda turned me on."
"Yea-yeah?"
"Yeah. Let's do it. Right here, right now." He locks the door, puts the shades down, and climbs on top of her on the chair. He takes his shirt off and starts kissing her. She takes off her shirt and bra while kissing him. He slowly starts kissing down her neck, still undressing. She softly moans as she continues to undress. They have sex on the tattoo chair. "That was- that was amazing." she says, slightly out of breath.
"Yeah, yeah it was totally unexpected."
"It was thrilling."
"What do you mean?"
"It was really hot to have sex with a fresh tattoo just minutes after it was done."
"That sounds pretty awesome."
"Yeah, it was."
"Yeah, which reminds me, I should probably disinfect this chair."
"That's a good idea, don't wanna get sued." He wipes the chair down with wipes.
"So, where do you wanna go?"
"There's more?"
"Unless you just wanna go home."
"Wanna see a movie?"
"Yeah...sure...hey, wait a minute!"
"What?"
"You said you were broke."
"Yeah?"
"You're right. I should pay for you too."
"You mean you weren't going to?"
"That's not what I meant; I just thought you'd be done with me by now."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I just figured you'd wanna go home by now is all."
"You don't wanna hang out with me anymore?"
"No, no, what I mean is, I didn't think you'd be so attached to me."
"Of course I'm attached to you, I miss you. Am I not supposed to be? I thought you were my boyfriend..."
"I am, I'm ok with it, really. In my mind, I just thought that, you know what? Never mind, just forget I said anything."
"Fine, whatever."
"Still wanna go to the movies?"
"No, just take me back home."
"Damn it!"
"You can hang out too, if you want."
"Oh, uh, ok." They leave and head back to Jane and Kevin's, who are sitting in the living room.
"Bowl?" Jane asks.'
"Sure." Tad says as he sits down. "Sorry I missed your guys' party."
"It's alright, man." Kevin says.
"We're having another one tomorrow." Jane says.
"We just had one a couple of days ago." Sandra says.
"So? Now we're officially moved in. That's reason enough to celebrate."
"Fine, but we're going to watch your drinking." Kevin says.
"But babe-"
"Sorry, I don't know about you, but I don't like cops randomly showing up."
"Alright, fine."
"Cool, I'll be able to make it this time." Tad says.
"Can I invite a couple of people?" Sandra asks.
"I don't know, I want a smaller party this time." Kevin says.
"Mushrooms will be provided. LSD soaked mushrooms I might add."
"Do we get any?"
"Yes."
"Fine, but they better be good."
"Oh, they will be."
"I can definitely choose that over drinking." Jane says.
"Good, but I'm still going to try to keep you out of trouble." Kevin says.
"If you want a small party, then why not make it just us?" Sandra asks.
“That's a good idea. It'll keep you from getting in trouble." Kevin says as he looks at Jane.
"That's lame!" Jane says.
"It's too close since the last incident; you have to keep a low profile. Who's all going to be here? Me, Jane, Sandra, Tad. Who are you inviting?"
"My sister Lizzie and friend Jordanna, the one with the shrooms. You?" Sandra says.
"I'm inviting my sister."
"That makes seven."
"That's ok, super small, but it won't get crazy."
"I'm excited for you guys to try these shrooms."
"That good?"
"Yeah, I hallucinated so well, it felt real."
"That's usually what happens."
"Ohhhh...."

October 15, 2010

Dear Diary:
I had an amazing day with Tad today. We had pizza, I got a new piercing, and my very first tattoo, and oh yeah, we had sex. I had a great time, but I'm a little concerned. First off, he doesn't say I love you. He says he cares for me, but it doesn't feel the same. For some reason, he didn't think I wanted to be around him. That's silly, of course I want him around. Sounds like there's some insecurity there. I have an issue with that, he better not be spineless. If he realizes it, he can change it; if not, I'll have to move on. Maybe I'm wrong, and he was just being a dick. Maybe I'll talk to him about it. I dunno, though for once I’d like this to be for real. It's frustrating to watch the behavior of people change, especially people you already know, change ever so slightly out of your comfort zone. In my case, Tad's always been cool, confident, but since we've moved onto the next level, suddenly, he's not as confident, insecure. I don't know what his deal is, but it better stop soon. I'm not gonna be with someone who isn't sure enough to think he's ok in the relationship. He has to be a little more comfortable around me, get a groove going, maybe. Maybe he's just not there yet, maybe he's not into me at all, and this all just a cruel joke, I don't know. I just hope that this will pass. I really wish he told me he loved me. Oh well, I'm sure the time will come someday. For now, it's just nice to have someone who isn't a total a*****e. He does have his good points, I'm not complaining, I just wish he'd open up a little more.

December 18, 2010

Dear Diary:
Well, the semester is over, and I'm not happy. I passed all of my classes except for math. So now, I have to take a semester of one class. One. Class. It's bullshit. I'll waste four months for one class when I could be using it for five classes towards my next level degree. I'm so mad right now. Why? Why does everything have to be so difficult all the time? I'm trying to move on with my life, but life insists on keeping me down and I don't know why. It feels like it's taking forever. Having that break didn't help. Sometimes I wonder if I've made the right choices, or if I am making the right choices. I don't know, I really hope so. I'd like to know that I know what I'm doing. But does anyone really? Who knows? I still can't believe I failed by four points, I'm so mad at myself. I hate math, I hate it, I hate it. Why does an English teacher need algebra anyway? It's stupid. Anything to hold me back. Well, I've got like, a month off, so that's always good. More time I get to spend with my boss Lori, yuck. I can't wait until I'm out of there and running a classroom. it's gonna be sweet.
Those kids will never know what will hit 'em with a teacher like me. I really do hope that I give the kids a reason to want to come to school. A supportive teacher is what kids need. They need positive influence, not negative. I'm glad I have a set career at my age. I could be clueless as to what to do, washing dishes in a diner or flipping burgers at a fast food place. Thinking, contemplating: 'What am I going to do with my life?' I know what I wanna do: teach. I've got a lot to look forward to in the future. Like, what friends will I have in the future? Will they be the same friends? Will I find new friends? Reconnect with old friends? And what about Tad? Will we be together forever?
I certainly hope so, he's my type of guy. I wish he told me he loved me, I know I sound like a broken record, but I don't know, maybe I'm just more emotional. He never says it, and I don't know why, I've asked him, but he says he's not ready yet. How can he not be ready? It's been a few months already. I feel like there's something else. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I don't know. I just know that this year is almost over, and a new one is about to begin. With a new year, marks a new beginning.