twizzle bob in dreamland

i wanted to try and write a story for my kids

once upon a time in a land far far away there live a happy soul called twizzletop he was a short cubby charicter with eyes like frying pans and he had the most humungus mouth you had ever seen in your life. the thing about twizzlebob though is he had a very speacial job and that job was to look after everyones dreams. he was a dream fighter that was what he was called and every night when people where asleep he would enter into your dreams and make sure that everything was as it should be and that you dreamt of nice things and he lived in what was called the land of napps. he was a very caring creature who took his job very seriously and guess what he could only talk in rhyme as could all who lived in the land of napps one of his favourite one was "I enter your dreams when you are asleep nomatter the time or how long it may take. some people count sheep some think about there day but it dosent materr how you got ther or drifted away. i help dreams of good things i help you to wonder and i stop you from getting scared while deep in your slummber. i keep up your spirits so in dreams you can learn and when your with others i teach you in turn...
now in the land of napps twizzle bob had one very good friend that helped him keep the peace and trancuility of the land of napps the only thing was is that he couldnt enter dreams like twizzlebob but he had the heart of a lion and he had lots of good ideas to share. his name was wizzywool they called him this because his body was covered in wool just like a sheep but his wool was orange. every day twizzletop would walk down the path to wizzywools house it was only about a five miniut walk and every day they would great each other with the same secret rhme. so if they let you hear it you must be sure to keep it a secret. can you keep a secret?? well here it goes then they say hello twizzletop hello wizzywool its time to work on the dreams for you we make pink elephants laugh two headed monkeys do trick all so you get you night time kick we are happy in the morning when your yawning and remembering what joys we brung you so sit with a smile that makes it worth while and we dissapeare just as quite as we came.

Author's Note

i am just starting off and i want to know if its a good idea or not so your critisism will be wellcome and this was just off the top of my head thanks

Reviews

[ritchie carter]

i think it needs alot of work but it was just a thought