Ode to the Egg Flinger

Unfortunately based on a true story

It was a clear brisk evening

and my car rolled to a stop

twixt the towing joint and the park

As my foot pressed the gas and I

moved forward, an egg

soared through the air

SMACK!

It hit its target - my windshield -

splattering the top of my car with sticky egg white

and gooey egg yolk

I hit the brake and looked around for you

you elusive b*****d!

I even circled back, but you were gone

The only remnant of you bits of shell

littering the street

I really hope you were proud of yourself

I could have wrecked, you know?

You could have cracked my windshield

I was more shocked than angry

at you the whole way home

But as I stood on my driveway

in the darkness and brisk air

my hand submerged in a bucket

full of soapy water

the water hose in my other

I really hoped you were proud of yourself

because just then

I wanted nothing more

than to bash your skull in

Author's Note

Unfortunately based on a true story