Its A Struggle Out There!

"The good that a man does is oft interred with his bones." William Shakespeare 'Hamlet'

Oh the chaos finding order,

Oh the weariness seeking rest,

Oh the blindness seeing beauty,

Oh the failure making best!

 

Light emitting blinds the darkness,

Scent of flower masks the muck,

Comic laughter hides the pain,

Training chef's make good yuk.

 

Finding Passion isn't Loving,

Finding Love isn't Fun,

Finding Fun just isn't Life,

Finding Life's a race to Run.

 

 

Author's Note

"Trying to think outside the box, could leave skeletons in your closet!" L. Sherm

Reviews

[Analgesia]

Excelent use of contradictions, and the flow of the poem is also very well structured. Life is contradictions and a race...I suppose that would be the general point of this. Though I could interpret the race as meaning several different things, for instance it could mean life is competitive, or that its tiring, or that you'll proabably lose if your a big fat guy,...I like the little bit of ambiguity there. My only problem is the Muck-to-yuk rhyme, but thats merely a tone problem. It couldn't do as much damage if this were prose but because it is poetry the sudden use of slang kind of sticks out stylistically. Hope I was of service.

[Barbara Walker]

On the whole, a great write but the last line in the second verse felt like a forced rhyme and it interrupts the rhythm and flow, because it makes me stop reading, as i experience a double-take. That line just feels like it doesn't belong.

[Mark]

It's rare for me to do so, but I agree with Tyler, the promise of St I is not fulfilled in Sts II and III (though I do love the line "Scent of Flower masks the Muck"!!) Also "chefs" need no apostrophe. But please do not let this discourage you! I hear plainly some good-natured, tongue-in-cheek frustration at how difficult it can be to find what we seek in this life. You have the strokes, Lar, there's no doubt of that!
Aside: Are you a chef-in-training, or a trainer-of-chefs? If so, then love of cooking is one more thing you and I have in common!