I'm Really The Tongue's Cheek!

The Names, Dated, and Realities have been changed to protect the Innocent - Me!!! (None of what you are about to read is of any value and can be confused with the truth.)

My wife was feeling bad the other week,

   so I e-mailed her,

and told her to go out and get herself some flowers. -

   Well !!!

She took me up on it. -

   Do you know how much a boquet of diamonds and emeralds cost?

___________________

 

We had some neighbor kids over playing in the house last summer.

   When they tipped over a lamp, my wife told them,

" Why don't you kids go out in the street and play?

   When I found out, I had a fit.

"You could have, at least, had them take the cat with them!!!

____________________

 

Our house is on the side of a steep grade in nothern New York State.

   We are prone to getting alot of ice and snow.

The plus side is that we can charge for coffee and bathroom privelages

   when there is a back-up of 18 wheelers stuck for hours.

And of course their return visits are guaranteed

   when that coffee hits the cold air and their bladders contract.

______________________

 

I wouldn't want to be 24 all over again.

   The imput of ignorance and 'know-it all' would kill me.

I'm just getting to the place where I'm at peace with my fellow man.

   Its very rare to find someone in town that doesn't know me.

Its rarer still to find someone brave enough to come over.

_______________________

 

Quarantine is the state you get yourself into

   after you've eaten too much Chilli.

I've found taking a walk in the park only clears my head.

   The real fun begins taking a leasurely stroll thru the local crowed mall.

All those impressionable kids being freshly scolded by their parents.

________________________

 

I've been told, "You're so bad!" I find the title fits,

   but only with these following disclaimers:

Bad has other deffinations than the opposite of good -

   i.e. "The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly."  (A great Classic Movie)

or the S.D. Badlands,

   or as quoted by my '60's hippie friend, Spense,

"You're Bad man - The 'Boss'.

    I like to think I've arrived, when people have to stop egnoring me.

It may take me a few tries, but I usually succeed.

   I'm bad like that!

_________________________

 

"Quality Time" is usually the time between commercial.

   It can also be a less than challenging crossword book in the Loo.

But my favorite is the pinacle reached when you can start using your senior discounts.

   Oh, the envy in the eyes of younger co-workers.

_________________________

lar

 

Author's Note

I want you to know, I'm not who I really seem.

Reviews

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

This has given me a chuckle or two and an uplift on my day. Thanks for sharing.